Worth
I do not believe I am worth the same as anyone else. Not that I am a bad person. I just cant imagine prioritizing anything I need or want above anyone else's needs or wants. I can cognitively understand that it is unreasonable to expect me to work on every want and need in the world before my own. But if someone asks me to do something, if I can physically make myself move, I will work on that before anything I had planned or need.
I don't think this is a good way to live. I just don't know how to do anything differently. Because as soon as I try something differently I feel so bad about myself that I almost end myself.
The kicker is, I am writing this because of the steps on the growth path. But I am not going to listen to anything I get as a response to this. Some part of me wants to hear that I need to prioritize myself, its the same part that signed up here in the first place. But a much stronger part of me will dismiss any kind word as futile gestures.
So thank you for reading, I am sorry I wasted your time.
I am prioritizing myself right now and i'm struggling because I dispise entertainment of any kind.
My hobby is smoking cigarettes.
I can relate to not liking self care.... I find myself helping people till I get burned out. Wash and repeat....
🤔 How can we end this vicious cycle @Shadily3899 ?
@Shadily3899 Thank you for sharing this. It takes a lot of honesty to put these feelings into words. The fact that you can see this pattern and know it isn’t healthy is already an important first step. You’re not wasting anyone’s time, and your needs aren’t worthless just because they feel smaller than everyone else’s. You matter more than you think, even on the days it’s hardest to believe it.
This was so relatable its scary how your post relates everything I feel. I am doing the same as you but it just feels so futile compared to the kind of help our soul is actually searching for. Even speaking to the listeners here. God bless them, they are very kind but it's so hard to help us because we refuse to help ourselves. Cause we are so used to taking up the burdens of protecting others, we don't know how to protect ourselves.
