Is it self harm?
I always think of ways to hurt myself , but I am so scared to inflict anything on my body cause then people would see how I am not okay and I don’t want them to see . But I hurt myself “unintentionally” like how I get burns or just cuts while cooking like accidents and I don’t even care for it later . I like to see it . I like to see how I am not perfect cause all of life all I ever tried was to be perfect for them to say I wasn’t perfect enough. Does that consider self harm idk or am I just being dramatic and this is just normal thoughts everyone gets? It is first time saying it out loud . (English isn’t my first language sorry for any mistakes )
@gentleLake7011
Dear Beloved,
The thoughts and feelings you described are real and deserve attention and support. Many people struggle with thoughts of hurting themselves, especially when carrying emotional pain, self-criticism, or feelings of not being good enough.
Whether or not these injuries are intentional, it is important to pay attention to the fact that you think about hurting yourself and find comfort in seeing injuries on your body. The first step toward healing is acknowledging that you are struggling. Discuss your thoughts with supportive people in your life. You do not have to carry this alone.
If perfectionism and feelings of never being "good enough" are causing distress, work through those beliefs with a therapist. This can help you understand which thoughts are troubling you and where they are coming from.
Practice self-compassion. Your worth is not determined by being perfect or meeting other people's expectations. Looking after your body is an important act of self-care and self-respect. Take care of accidental injuries, even if they seem minor.
Thanks for taking time to write me all of that. I really appreciate it.
I don’t think I am ever brave enough to openly talk to anyone around me or to even a therapist . I feel like if I said it out loud it becomes real and I might actually start doing it idk.
What’s stopping me really is how I keep saying to myself it isn’t me ,and these are just random thoughts that don’t need attention , but I just mentioned it here cause now I am thinking about it in every little thing I do like 2-3 times a day ,and it never leaves my mind . I am afraid .
@gentleLake7011
I understand what you're talking about, I did the same. I remember getting scars and liking them, the difference is that I WANT to have scars and about two or three weeks ago I started cutting, usually in places where people can't see the cuts. Before that moment I did other small things like banging my head against the wall or things like that and from my personal experience I can say that, no, yours isn't self harming but it is the part before it. I don't recommend starting, because when you do you hardly can go back. I'm sorry for what you are feeling and for what you are facing, I wish you the best