Shaking (TW!!!)

@AlyOneDay

 I appreciate the distinction you made, that you don’t feel worthy. That’s different than asking, “why am I not worthy?”

If a friend who was very much like you said they didn’t feel worthy, what would you tell them?

Is worthiness based on looks? Intentions? Accomplishments? Potential? Popularity?

People come up with their own definition of worthiness. Some think having money makes them worthy. Others think it’s their career, or grades, or social stature.

What’s the reality? I think a good starting point is to realize that an unworthy person has never been born.

One of our biggest mistakes is to measure worthiness by comparing ourselves with others. The only way such comparisons are valid is if you’re 100% identical to the person you’re comparing yourself with. Otherwise, there are too many variables between us.

What kind of worthiness inventory makes sense? I think attributes such as kindness, empathy, honesty, integrity are “worthy” factors, but what about those who haven’t learned much about those things yet?

Making mistakes doesn’t make you unworthy.

Introversion or shyness doesn’t make you unworthy.

Wearing strange clothes doesn’t make you unworthy.

Bad or regrettable habits don’t make you unworthy.

Not succeeding in making a desired change doesn’t make you unworthy.

Nothing makes you unworthy.

Why do so many people feel unworthy?

I don’t have all the answers, but I think some of the factors are comparing ourselves with others, also

unrealistically high self-expectations and harsh self-judgment.

Going back to the question about how you’d treat a friend, you need to treat yourself with the same respect and compassion as you would your friend.

@AlyOneDay

You deserve to feel happy and at peace aly.

Hey Aly,

I’m right here with you.

I can feel how much pain you’re in right now… shaking on the bathroom floor, feeling like you don’t deserve to exist, hating how you feel. It sounds so heavy and exhausting. I’m really sorry you’re carrying all of this.

You don’t have to explain or fix anything right now. It’s okay that you feel this way. It’s okay that you’re tired of feeling like this.

I’m staying here. You can keep writing whatever is going through your mind — the fear, the numbness, the hopelessness… anything. I’ll listen without trying to fix it.

You’re not alone in this moment, okay? I’m here.

Take your time. Breathe if you can. ❤️

@AlyOneDay

Hey do you mind if I just sit there with you?

My hands shake a lot too, ya know. . . Sometimes it's just the physical trauma I've put them through but others my chest feels tight and no matter what I do they just vibrate and I feel lost. 

So maybe we can just sit ya know, take a moment to try and breath, in and out. Cool air or maybe hot fills your lungs, a sensation you can feel but it isn't over the top it's not to rough or soft it just is, like us. 

As for being scared of family seeing I understand I am also scared my family will see mine, tho Mike have started to fade a bit without newer neighbors taking taking resident. Perhaps you also will stop gaining such frustrating and confusing neighbors on your skin.

I've recently been shaken and emotionally hurt pretty badly, and while I know not everyone will like them or it will help, a band called 'Good Kid' has really helped keeping me afloat. The reason I bring this up is because their song 'bubbly' has a couple of lyrics that go

"I never sleep, I never eat

I never leave my house alone 

Another evening in-between what I believe and what I know"

And I found it an interesting parrot of your words, not telling you to check em out but i think it could be worth a shot perhaps they can ease your mind and give you a moment of peace or perhaps not. . . 

Still thank you for letting me sit with you, it's hard life always is, but I see some strength in your words, you may not see it but did so I'll believe in you have a blessed day I hope things ease up on you <3