3 Tips For Creating a Self-Kindness Practice
Hello all! In my free time, I enjoy writing about self-help topics. So I will share some of my writings in this forum. Enjoy :)
So often, self-sabotaging thoughts wonder our minds. Its quite rude, actually. Thoughts of inadequacy, doubt, self-loathing…. they find a buoy in our minds, latch on and hold on for dear life. These thoughts appear at just the right moments, a failed project at work, a fashion mishap, a bad grade…no matter the failure, these thoughts are on the ready to dive in to make the problem worse.
So here are some suggestions on how to keep those self-sabotaging thoughts at bay and welcome self-kindness into your routine:
Tip 1: Sometimes we need to just wallow and cry and be alone with our self-sabotaging thoughts. But we should only do so with recognition that we are doing that. If we let these thoughts roam free in our mind, we risk never feeling good about ourselves. Life is short, we simply dont have enough time to be filled with all these painful thoughts.
Tip 2: I call this the tennis racket technique. Its a little silly, but I think its effective. Imagine you are a professional tennis player with a crazy powerful forehand. Every time a self-sabotaging thought floats through, imagine yourself picking up your tennis racket and swinging at the thought with all you got. This thought is not welcome, please go away, whack whack!
Tip 3: When life is hard, maybe you are working on a tough project at work, or you are going through a break up — whatever it is, just decide be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to treat yourself with kindness, empathy and love. You deserve it!
No matter what is going on in your life, you have the power to control how you experience lifes ups and downs. It wont always be easy, that is for sure, but if you can keep your self-sabotaging thoughts at bay and invite self-kindness into your life, stomaching the pain of everyday life will be more manageable and possibly even enjoyable. After all, life is just a series of ebbs and flows and ups and downs.
Question for the community - What is one thing YOU DO to practice self-kindness!? Share with us in this thread!
I draw and paint mandalas for healing. =)
@Totheskyandbeyond
that is so cool!! can you share a picture?
@Laura Oh I don't know. I'll try =D
@Laura https://www.instagram.com/p/BYGtPWOjsan/ - Let me know if you could see it ;)
@Laura
BY APPRECIATING OURSELF
BY CARING AND LOVING
BY DOING OUR INTEREST STUFFS 
@SweetCrush
yessss well said! love what you have written here! <3
Mostly drawing and reading. Once I did the tip number one, because somehow I realise all I need is just crying (even just for once) then suddenly it feel much better.
Anyway thanks for the tips! You're awesome!
@azura1898
that is really cool! love that story
what book are you reading right now?
And any chance you want ot share one of your drawings with us? :)
@Laura currently reading Go Set A Watchman. And yes, someday I will :)
@azura1898
do you like the book?
awesome, can't wait to see a drawing
I knit for a charity which calms me and stops.me fidgeting. I no longer worry that I should be doing 'something' , sometimes you have to just be.
@Singleblue
that is so cool! knitting is a great way to relax. My sister does a ton of knitting. She sells hand spun yarn - small business owner! crafting is a great way to be kind ot yourself
@Laura
When I'm doing the tennis racket technique I imagine I'm replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones or asking myself if there's solid proof of the negative thought being true (proof as in nobody could possibly ever argue with it because there's physical evidence) which will usually make the thought stay away for longer than just trying to force it from my mind.
@CoinFountain
that is great. love this technique
I love the tennis racket technique. I sometimes find it helpful to imagine in whacking the cause of the thought as well as the thought itself - I guess it's like a mental stress ball 
Going for a good stomp really helps me too - I observe the wildlife, listen to the sounds of the natural environment and let my mind wonder with the breeze... bliss 
@LittleLottie16
oh nice! stomping, i could see that ebign heplful too!
how is your forehand these days??
@Laura
It could be better I suppose, my aim is a little off though sometimes I'm right on target!
I used to paint ceramic figures about 3 times a week, until the store closed down. Then, I took bubble baths once a week, with candles lit and my favorite music playing in the background.
Now, I just listen to music and play games on the computer~
@Jaeteuk
so glad you have continued to bake this into your routine. so smart! i encourage you to find another creative thing. crativity is so good for the soul
@Laura
Right now, I just don't have the time for it. Sometimes, I'm too exhausted after work. My mum promised that we'd play Mahjong on my days off. Which I like, so I usually can't wait for my days off!~
@Jaeteuk
do you go right to bed after work?
@Laura
No, I get off work at 1:30pm. If I'm really sleepy, I'll nap for an hour or so around 4pm. If not, I'd go to bed by 9:30pm (the latest on a work day)~
I slow down, take some deep breaths, and tell myself nice things about me.
@FortunateYetAnxious
that sounds lovely!!!
I sit back and think of the accomplishments I've done in the past few months or even that day...And reward myself by seeing friends, or going out and having coffee. Basically treat myself.
I also like to write. It helps me to reevaluate how I see myself and try my best keep my writings uplifting about myself.
@Sick1234
that is really great. I think spending time to applaud yourself for what you have acoomplished is really smart. great work!
@Laura Take a 20 minute mid-day nap/meditation no matter what or where. My time:)
@Nectarine7276
nice! how long have you been meditating for? do you find it helpful!? i love it