3 Tricks To Keep Your Confidence Up (And Why It�s Important To Do So)
Hello all! In my free time, I enjoy writing about self-help topics. So I will share some of my writings in this forum. Enjoy :)
How do you manage moments when your confidence dwindles?
Like a complicated romantic relationship, confidence must be maintained, actively acknowledged, engaged with and pursued. If you take your eyes off it for a moment, it
Keeping my self clean and healthy. Talking to myself in the mirror (telling myself that I can do it. That I am amazing and a lot of narcissistical things that are actually things I would like to hear from a friend).
@Laura
Thanks for this post!
Just wanted to reflect and share what your post made me think about in my life.
1. "Use kind and supportive language when you are having internal dialogues. Make it a deliberate habit."
Yasss! I used to have such horrible, mean, cruel internal dialogue with myself! I had to conciously: STOP the thought in it's tracks and re-frame it to something true and kinder.
Took me a long time ( LONG) time to get there - but for me- NOTICING it was the key and first step: awarness, awarness, awarness!
2. "Write a list of positive affirmations and say them to yourself daily. You can tweak, update and change these as you evolve and grow."
For me - I had/have a big issue with affirmations! Ifeel as though they are lies I am telling myself...untill:
I came to the realization they are not lies - rather what I WANT stated in present tense. I find that doing so helps me achive them...
sort of like, programing my brain!
3. "Dont be quick to judge yourself. If you are like me, you can sometimes have hot or quick reactions to unexpected events or emotions. Instead of reacting right away, take a moment to reflect and check-in. Then craft a nonjudgemental approach to the situation."
Yup! Right on with this!
Judging myself leads to reactions to my emotions instead of actions ( after I have processed what happened or how I feel).
And " not judging" the emotion or situation makes it a LOT easier to sit with it or expirience it.
This form of non attatchment has really helpd me so much!
Thank you so much for this post <3
You helped me reflect on where I started, where I am and what work I need to continue to be aware of.
<3
I find that positive affirmations only work if they are phrased in a way that reflects accurately on demonstrable abilities you do indeed have. A global view of oneself that allows for the recognition of positive qualities to be true is necessary for positive affirmations to work. If you don't believe that you're amazing, intelligent, trust-worthy, and so on, saying these things will only conflict with your outlook and make you feel worse about all the things you believe you're not. As such, positive affirmations only tend to work for people who already have a normally good level of confidence in themselves in the first place, for they can accept and recognize demonstrable abilities and qualities they do know they have (and can prove with examples of such things).
Working on a global negative self view that disallows for there to be good attributes to oneself, the reasons why you believe this is true, and why you think it's necessary to accept this outlook are all vital before one can benefit from encorporating positive affirmations as a way of boosting confidence. Positive affirmations work as reminders of what you already believe about yourself, especially after a failure or something that might be contradictory to previous examples. If you don't already believe you have positive qualities and have achieved positive things in the past, positive affirmations are going to affirm all that you believe you aren't, and you'll feel worse. That's been from my experience and that of others in the therapy groups I've been in. Belief revision is necessary first before affirming a seemingly opposite belief could be beneficial.
@Zeraphim That is very true: lying to oneself is rarely helpful. I use a variation of the affirmation idea called a Statement of Faith: positive things that I wrote down when I was not depressed that I can refer to when I am feeling low. These aren't lies, and I know they aren't lies because I believed them when I wrote them.
Maybe that approach won't work for everyone but I found it very helpful for me.
@Zeraphim Your point about positive affirmations only working for those who already have a pretty positive self regard or good self esteem was actually proven in a study by Canadian researcher Dr. Joanne Wood and her team at the University of Waterloo published in The Journal of Psychological Science.
I'd tried positive affirmations as an aid to improve self esteem, diligently practicing them as the self help books suggested, and they made me feel worse about myself instead of better. I had listeners here at 7cups blame me for that. They were adamant that positive affirmations work and that if they were not working for me, it was my fault for not doing them right or for long enough.
I was pleased when I found Dr. Wood's study and cited her research back to soime of the listeners who had judged me. Just wanted to you for reiterating a very important point.
Go to the mirror and look at yourself and admire yourself.
Dress to impress for yourself
Tell yourself a goal you want to complete today, nothing big but something you know that you can check off your to-do-list.
@Laura
Thank you so much for these lovely reminders, Laura. I am always so hard on myself.
Can anyone share some personal affirmations that have meant a lot and worked personally?
I'd be grateful for any suggestions.
@emotionalMaple9419 Some personal affirmations that helped me is:
- I am capable of finding gratitude
- I like to feel healthy
- I enjoy bringing out the best in others
- I can carry a great conversation
- I am capable of finding the positive in most situations (I want to say every situation but I don't think I am there yet)
@hypnosis I have never used positive affirmations, but after reading your list I feel like it's something that may help me, too. Thanks! 👍😀
@hypnosis. Amen
1. I reread my old work and compliments from others.
2. I do something for me.
3. I cook, it makes me feel better about myself.
Thank you for sharing blessings over you
Maybe it would be good to make a list about your qualities. Someone recently said that I was kind ^_^
Sometimes I would look in the mirror and look myself in the eye and say sorry if I disappointed myself, and then try to resolve to do better. I also would take video recordings and talk about things that I liked about I was doing for example...
"You're a good person, you have a good heart, moving on." (Jessie Funk)
"You really do care, you have proven that by ____."
"I would not trade being me for anything. Thank you ______, for having my back."
"You are capable."
"I love being who I am, and being a good friend to myself, just as I would strive to be to anyone else."
etc.
@bubbleChestnut3363 these examples are a great help and have given me some good ideas for my own positive affirmation! Thank you!
@Laura very cool of you to share your writing with us! Great tips are offered in this post aswell