How to be vulnerable - A discussion with Laura

I have been thinking about this word, what it means for individuals and how it applies to our community. I have been reading and listening to some of the work of Brene Brown (https://brenebrown.com/). Here is a summary of her ideas on vulnerability and how it applies to your life personally and our community.

(This post got unintentionally long, was feeling very inspired this morning :) - please leave questions, comments..etc.)

------> To talk about vulnerability, we must first discuss shame. At its simplest, shame is the fear of disconnection.

Thoughts like: Is there something about me that if other people knew about it or saw it, I would no longer be worthy of connection. I would be embarrassed, exposed, and therefore undeserving. Feelings of shame can be very powerful.

Other things we know about shame:

- Its universal, everyone experiences it

- Nobody wants to talk about it

- The less you talk about it, the more you have it

------> Now, what underpins shame? This is where the vulnerability comes into play.

Thoughts like: ?I?m not enough,? ?I am not rich enough,? ?I am not strong enough,? ?I am not pretty enough?

These thoughts of not being enough represent our vulnerabilities. They represent theidea that in orderfor connection to happen for me, I have to allow myself to be seen in certain way.

Accepting your vulnerabilities is no cake walk, in fact it can be a slug fest, a fight, a no way game.

The world we live in requires us to ask for help, make challenging choices, tell someone something uncomfortable, hear something we don?t want to hear?etc. We will all have to face a diverse range of challenging situations throughout our lives. This is just a fact of life.

Because of this, it can be easier to just ignore our vulnerabilities, numb ourselves to them.

Many of us have come to see our vulnerabilities as weaknesses, things that are wrong with us. But this could not be any further from the truth.

In fact, it?s quite the opposite:

- Vulnerability is courage

- It?s about showing up in times of deep uncertainty, fear and emotional risk.

- It?s bravery - it'sbrave to show up and take a look

------> Do I have to do show up? Do I have to face my vulnerabilities?

The short answer is yes. And here is why:

If vulnerability is uncertainty, risk & emotional exposure, then to be human is to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is something we do every day, something we experience every day. So to ignore something we experience dailyis a risk.

I challenge you all to embrace vulnerability because its not only embedded in the human experience, but fundamental to our work here at 7 Cups.

Vulnerably is the honest, raw bid for connection. It is about intimacy, trust and connection. We share our stories with people who earn the right to hear them.

When our members press, ?connect now? this is what they are seeking.We also see this in our listener/listener interactions:having to ask a mentor for some extra support or a peer support to help you after a difficult chat. Vulnerability is baked into our community, so its time we acknowledge it and face it head on.

We see vulnerability in our interactions on the site. But we also see vulnerability in the nature of what we are all doing here at 7 Cups, our collective mission.

Whether it?s the emotional support system for the Internet, a drawing or blog post, there is nothing more vulnerable in the art of creation. We are working together as a unified team to change support and fill the empathy gap. We are creating something that has never existed before.

Being vulnerable is problem solving, being proactive, adaptable, when you see a challenge (personal, with a member, in the community) you walk towards it. It?s hard and it requires courage and bravery. But the result, even if you (or we) make a few mistakes along the way, will always be profound.

Another way to think about this idea is: think about life (and our community) as an arena.

For many people, failing is too overwhelming, too scary. Due to this fear, many people loiter on the outside of the arena, too nervous to enter, take the first step.

And their fear may be spot on, its there ? their fear is real. But the bottom line is, if you?re going to enter the arena, your going to face challenges, get your butt kicked, fall down, make mistakes...

Asscary and as dangerous as that sounds, its not as scary and as dangerous as spending your entire life lingering outside the area, wondering: ?What if I tried that?? ?What if I had given that idea?? ?What if I had said yes??

If we are going to find our way back to each other, we have to enterthe arena and accept that vulnerability is part of this path.

I want you to dive in, boldly walk into the arena, with the support of the community at your back.

So today,I dare you.