Chat Anxiety?

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

I was very anxious. I'd say about an 8.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

After experiencing such anxiety the first time, I haven't been able to coax myself to make a second attempt.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

My fears were that I wouldn't be taken seriously and that I wouldn't remember what I wanted to say. In the past, when confiding in someone I trusted I would be told to "just snap out of it" or something similarly dismissive. As a result of numerous such experiences I'm very hesitant to talk to anyone about what is bothering me as everytime I try to do so my thoughts vacate the premises like patrons fleeing a burning theater. The resulting feelings of helplessness and inability to think or speak are very discomfiting.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

What I think might help in my case is a more gradual entry into the chat process. As it stands now, entering the chat room feels like stepping onto the railroad tracks in front of an onrushing locomotive; the impending point of impact being the listener coming on and asking what is bothering me (or whatever it is they say). At that point I'm on the spot to start describing my issue(s) and that is when the reaction described in my answer to question 3 occurs.

I think it might be better if I could enter the chat room and not have to say anything until I'm ready. The listener would wait to respond rather than initiating the conversation. In this system, I would be free to enter and just wait until ready to communicate. Or be free to leave without saying anything. Maybe next time I might feel like just saying "Hi," to which the listener could respond with their own "Hi." It might take several times operating in this manner (with the same listener) before I would feel comfortable bringing up my problem. It's the gradual nature of this approach that I think might wear away the fears and allow me to make progress.

Another thing that bothers me is that the listeners whose profiles I've checked seem to "specialize" in a great many issues, which to me hardly seems like specialization at all. I would feel much more comfortable with a listener who is devoted exclusively to the problem I am facing rather than one who tries to cover them all.

At least that's my thinking on the matter.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

Yes, I was anxious the first time I connected with a listener. I would say a 9/10.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

Yes, I was also anxious the second time. I would say 7/10.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

I was unsure of what it would be like to talk to someone online. Was I connecting with someone who would understand me and really facilitate a comversation in which I felt comfortable? Would I simply be met with yet another situation where sharing my feelings was met with criticism and unhelpful comments? Are my problems worth taking up someone else's time?

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

I think the idea you have already outlined, the mock transcripts, would be good. I know the website says big things to small day-to-day things, but perhaps specifically listing some of the more common topics that people often discuss might help. It could certainly alleviate the question of is my issue too small.

I have never actually used the "connect now" button. I have always browsed and selected people who were listed as online that met certain criteria. That said, it took me several days before I realized that I could do that. Typically, I would load up the webpage and stare at it for a while before closing it again. I feel that making it more known that one can simply search through the listeners to find someone they feel comfortable with could lessen the anxiety of wondering who they are connecting with.

Personally, I am very sensitive about who I talk to. I have trust issues and have a hard time trusting people to behave appropriately with me. As it stands now, I only initiate chats with listeners who are suggested by a trusted listener.

Perhaps, instead of robots, there could be someone they could chat with while they were waiting. I don't know how efficient that would be, but when I take up a chat, I find that most people are pretty frustrated with the robots. :) Just a thought!

Q: Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

A: Yes; I would say I was at an 8 because I was not sure what to expect -- was I going to be directed to a phone call-type of chat? Was it going to be via text? I think my anxiety shot up to a 9 when I saw that my listener at the time was typing. I couldn't help but think two things: (1) Is this real-time / legitimate? and (2) Is this a robot or a real person?

Q: Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

A: Only a little; perhaps a 4.

Q: Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

A: See response to first question.

Q: What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

A: I was on the app version the first time I joined as a member, and I feel the description of the app could have been a bit more specific in terms of how we were going to get that support.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

yes, i was petrified. easily a 10. I think i "connected" and then left a few times before i finally stayed for a chat

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

Again i was, but probably lower on a scale of 7 or 8

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

I was mostly anxious because i didnt know what it would be like. i didnt understand if i would have to give certain information or addres my deepest isues

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

I think focusing on a how this works section PRIOR to the chat would be great for guest. something like "click here to see how a chat works" and then have an intro of a chat script or video to watch so they could understand that process then they can click another button to say "ready to conenct with a listener?"

I was a little nervous just because there was so much unknown. It helps to feel in control, but when you have to sit there and wait for whoever to connect to, you start imagining all kinds of scenarios. If the guest would be given information right away, such as a kind message like "You will be connected to a listener shortly, we have plenty listeners available so if this is not the right one for you, then you can contact another one. 7cups is 100% confidential so feel comfortable to open up--this is a supportive and warm community, we are so happy that you found us." Imagine something like that with comforting animation around it, like butterflies:)

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

Yes, a bit....I'd say about a 5.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

No, after learning more about 7 cups, and having the first chat, I felt much more comfortable.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

Being judged is probably the biggest anxiety cause...I know, as a listener, a great deal of my chats involve people who are anxious about being judged. I have found that assuring them that it is 100% judgment free zone, typically helps. Whenever they continue to be anxious, I let them take their time to get comfortable and often offer information about myself. Communicating more openly with members and guests tends to put them at ease even when nothing else is helping.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

I really like your ideas, I also agree with the idea that @mobbsy had about having a video ahead of time to show people what 7 cups is about. I think that is an excellent way for listeners to be able to "get their foot in the door", so to speak.

Hi there! I 've taken countless chats where our users are unconfortable asking me was a calling the cops. I say that I couldn't as I don't know where they were

Hello!

I would say that yes, anxiety is a pretty big barrier that most of us face when fist coming on 7 cups. I think that this is mostly because a lot of us stumble across this site by some kind of warning on Tumblr or another site when re-searching tags and/or we stumble across it by accident. Not many of us come here by the recommendation of a friend. And, personally, I think that's a huge part to play. Why? Because when I first came here to connect with a listener, I was literally shaking and second-guessing myself.

(3) Why did I come here? Which problem should I discuss? Am I being annoying? Will I come across as pathetic? What if they don't understand? What if they don't respond like I need them to? What if they get mad me because-? What if I'm overreacting? What if-?

(1) So, I guess I would rate my first experience here with a grade 8 anxiety. It took me some time and talking with a few listeners for me to get a feel of what 7 cups was and how it was looking to help me. I realized that a lot of the listeners are actually open enough to listen. None of whom I've talked with have responded greately ngatively or called me out on all the things I feared.

(2) The second time I connected, though - before realizing that the people here were very nice. I was still shaking. But not nearly as much, it was more of a 5 on the scale. But this was manily because I had looked for my second listener and made sure that they were understanding (since that is my biggest fear) by reading recomendations, etc.

(4) I believe that what you're proposing is a pretty good idea of how to go about anxiety. A page in which explains breifly of how the process goes and that it's alright. I think that in said page there should also be some messages explaining that there is no need to fear, that it is alright to come here, that they are not here to be judged or criticized, that this is a safe haven. But do not simply state that it is a ssafe haven, because that has never done much, explain why.

"When you come here, we want you to feel comfortable with our listeners. They are here to provide support and listen to you through any kind of situation you feel the need to speak about. Our listeners are not here judge our criticize your position and/or situation. And all information is kept srictly confidential."

Or something along the likes.

Also, I think it woould be nice to include a space where somehow members could invite other people. I think that it is important to spread the word by the means of friends. I mean, if I friend had come to me and explained that 7 cups is just a place to talk and let things out your chest while receiving comfort and that no one was here to judge - I probably wouldn't have as much anxiety as I did my first times.

Also, the music idea sounds awesome.

Namaste & Stay Safe
-Jc

First off before I answer these I wanted to add that I recently have noticed that many people do not like the "Noni" option. I think all the questions make them lose interest and I get quite a few ghost chats as well. I click on their name to help and I can read their previous responses and mostly all i see is them saying "STOP, STOP, STOP" so I bet that is overwhelimg for them.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

I was a 4 because it's just new, some times we don't know what is or isn't appropriate and don't want to offend anybody.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

It would be a 1. Was not as anxious because I knew how it worked and I felt more comfortable.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

A few were "Is this person going to be honest with me?" "Is this person going to be nice?" "I feel horrible bothering this person" "Are they going to give me enough time to say what I need to say?" "Wll they even understand me?" "Do they actually care?" "Are my problems going to sound important to them or am I being ridiculous?"

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

I think just listeners letting them know beforehand about what a 1-on-1 chat is all about that way they know what to expect. I find that once I do this they seem more relaxed and actually end of being great chatters! I also feel like we should gradually ask them questions about how they are feeling in case many say they don't know or are confused..etc. Most don't know where to start so I help them out.