A topic for Sexual Issues
It seems to be hard to find a listener willing to listen to your sexual issues, and to be a listener who prefers not to get into that, so I thought it would help both sides to have a Sexual Issues topic on the list (or "Intimacy Issues," or "Sexuality," or "Sexuality & Fetishes" – the name may need some work). The site already allows you to take those chats, and you have parts of the forum dedicated to sexuality and fetishes, after all.
This way, when guests are asked "What can we help you with today?" they won't end up with someone who prefers not to get into that. Members and guests who need it will have an actual option for it, instead of whatever they normally use while trying to find someone willing to listen (Relationship Stress? Depression?) Anyone who wants to take those chats will be easier to find (especially since it may not occur to the people searching to use keywords), and anyone who doesn't not only loses nothing, they may have an easier time avoiding those chats, by saying straight out "Sorry, I don't take those chats," and, on top of that, by having the option to take themselves out of a topic search.
Realistically, it won't stop trolls, but what does? It also won't do anything if people don't actually read profiles and just click Chat Now, but the problem there isn't the lack of a topic. It shouldn't be inappropriate for teens because they'll have their own problems there, honestly, and any listener who might abuse it to act inappropriately would likely end up being a problem with or without the topic existing.
What it will do – hopefully – is allow people who need help in a certain area, and people willing to provide it, to meet more easily, while helping people who can't, or prefer not to, get into that to keep their peace of mind.
Also, I'm not sure if listeners add the topics they discuss, instead of removing the ones they don't, but it would be best if everyone doesn't end up with it on their profile by default. You'll get a lot of annoyed and/or triggered volunteers all saying something like "Somebody tried to drag me into a sex chat, and I tried to tell them I don't discuss that, and they said 'Well your profile says you do,' and I had no idea what they were talking about because I never said that." Instead, get the word out by email, and on the site, and let everyone make their own decision.
Thanks for reading this, whether it happens or not.
Bump.
Thank you for posting this!
It's good idea to have specific sexual issues categorised on browse listeners.
You may also write it down on member's suggestion box
@Harsvin
I didn't know about the suggestion box, thanks for letting me know, and for your thoughts!
this is a raelly important topic and i love this idea.
We need to make it easier for people who need help with a sexual problem or want to discuss their sexuality have a safe and easy way to ind listeners to do that.
thank you for menting this idea!
@Laura
Thank you all for reading, and for the support.
It is important, but from what I've heard from you and @Anomalia it's also rather challenging (I suppose it's always that way on your end.) I hope there is a way for it to be done without sacrificing listener's safety.
@MorsVicta - Sorry for taking so long to respond to this! I 1000% agree that this is important because too often people struggling with sexual issues are unable to find the right support and either end up with listeners who are unqualified or uncomfortable discussing or, worse, blocked because it is misinterpreted.
My understanding is that this is on the list to eventually happen, but there are a couple of things that slow this down:
1. Adding a new topic isn't as simple as it might seem at first because there are a lot of areas on the site that use different topics lists that need to be accounted for, because there are paths and trainings and whatnot that go along with being able to select something in that list right now.
2. All changes like this require developer time which is hard to come by on a site this big because we are run with an incredibly lean developer team. Rumor has it a new developer just joined the team, which hopefully means some things will be able to move a little faster, but there's an enormous wishlist of things that are needed to be updated or created on this site and it can be tough to tell where things land on priorities.
What I do know is that this is on the list and that there is continual demand for it which will ensure that it remains on the list until it is put into place. In the meantime, what I recommend for anyone looking for a listener who is willing and able to discuss sexual issues is to do one of a few things:
1. Take a look at the Sexual Health forum and see who is posting in there - people responding to things there are generally comfortable discussing sexual issues and, by looking in the forum, you can get a sense for what their style is to see if the person feels like a good fit for you
2. Make a post in the Member Classifieds forum (within the Long-Term Support community) mentioning what you are looking for from a listener (some things you can include are general topic(s), type of listening (long-term vs. one-time, live vs. messages back and forth), frequency, and anyhting else. This will help listeners who could be a good fit find you and offer support. Likewise, looking in the Listener Classifieds might show you listeners who could be a good fit and say they are comfortable on this topic.
And for any who are reading this and need a listener, I do take chats related to sexual issues and you are welcome to PM me. I can either listen once a week for an hour, by appointment between Monday-Thursday, 10am-6pm Eastern or I can message back and forth not live throughout the week. :)
@Anomalia
Thanks for your input! The growth paths and whatnot weren't on my mind at all, but it makes sense. Hopefully it's not too far down the list.
And thank you for the suggestions, and for taking these chats.