Crisis and thoughts of self harm clarification
Hello everyone!
There is some continued confusion on if talking about thoughts of self harm are considered being in crisis and if we can take chats about that subject. We've updated our crisis page with why we allow self harm thoughts but not thoughts of suicide. Please read the crisis page section here.
It is important for both members and listeners to be transparent with each other as to if they are comfortable talking about thoughts of self harm. As members, please check a listener's profile page to see if they say they do not take self harm chat as many people find the subject triggering. You can also search for a listener who has selected it as a topic they will listen about.
And as always, remember that listeners are here to listen, they are not here to give advice. If you feel you need more than just a listening ear please seek out support from someone who is qualified to help on that level.
@Jill7Cups
Thank you Jill for keeping us well informed. This information is very helpful.
@Jill7Cups
This update was well needed as I was recently asking myself the same question. It's nice to finally have some clarity :D
@Jill7Cups Thank you for the updates and addressing such concerns. It's very important to emphasize that not all who do self-harm are suicidal and self-harm could be a way of coping (though unhealthy).
@Jill7Cups
Thank you for this! I am going to quote this on the SH community, it may help :)
@Jill7Cups thank you, Jill! It's an important step forward after the restrictions that was put in place. :)
Thanks for clarifying and updating the policy page.
Thanks Jill for typing this up, so that when supporting listeners we have a post with it in writing to back up what we say. It means a lot, you listened and updated/wrote this so quickly.
New mug for your new position !
@fluffyUnicorns84 ha ha ha I love this mug I might need to ask Santa to get it for me
@Jill7Cups
Thank you for clarifying this! I agree wholeheartedly
Sometimes people get triggered by self harm so its best if a member plans to talk about such sensitive topics that they check to make sure its okay with that specific listener but also make sure that when they connect with that listener that theyre not actively self harming.✨
Right?♥️
@Taylovesyou202 exactly! And as listeners, if we are uncomfortable with a topic we should put that in our profile and also feel comfortable letting a member kindly know we don't take chats about that topic and guiding them to browse listeners. We should ensure they do not feel rejected, but we should also be firm with our boundaries.
@Jill7Cups
Okay, noted! Sometimes I go through periods of time where Im okay with talking about those subjects and others I cant really talk about them without getting somewhat upset
So anytime I get upset by that stuff Ill just put it right at the beginning of my bio
just thinking out loud thank youu
@Taylovesyou202 that is a great idea.
@Jill7Cups
Quote: "And as always, remember that listeners are here to listen, they are not here to give advice. If you feel you need more than just a listening ear please seek out support from someone who is qualified to help on that level." 
what would really be helpful is limiting the " Refer Button " to listeners and moderators in the chat rooms, too many clowns in the chat rooms use the " Refer Button " as a trolling method to attack others n the room, and at times they are successful and end up triggering the person causing more drama in the room. At least the site cut the refer button a user can do to a person to one time. But really the refer button isn't needed n the chat room, it would be even easier to just have an occasional pop up link in the chat room that a user can click on their own to get a number to call.
@Jill7Cups
My only concern is where this leaves people with OCD and other anxiety disorders. People with OCD may have intrusive/obsessive thoughts around suicide. For these people, they absolutely do not want and are distressed by the thought of suicide and are not at risk of committing suicide. It is, in fact, different from suicide idealation, but I'm afriad these people might come seeking help only to get an unhelpful hotline flashed at them and a firm goodbye.
@tranquilseas15
good point the same with people who want to talk about suicide and technically do have thoughts about suicide because a friend or family member passed away and have no intention themselves to do that but want to talk about their feeling this really does need some examples of exceptions just like the other site policies have examples of what it is and isn't
@tranquilseas15 I totally empathize. The thing is we have no way of assessing if their thoughts are manifesting from OCD or not. So we can support OCD as a whole, but not specifically get into the passive ideation. It is still a dangerous pattern regardless of any underlying diagnosis. There are people with higher level training that can provide support for ideation, like specialized OCD groups.
@Jill7Cups
I think only people who show an interest in committing suicide should be considered suicidal people who have anxiety about an intrusive thought and a fear about suicide and do not want do it have no interest in doing it and have anxiety about it only not saying a listener should diagnose anyone but if the person has been diagnosed and says I have OCD and I have an extreme fear of anyone mentioning suicide a TV program or anything about it I panic and its on my mind a lot maybe something happened with someone they knew or being at a hospital and witnessing some tragedy if a person says they do have a diagnosis ofnocd and have no intention or desire to do it they are not suicidal not all issues and problems related to suicide and thoughts about the problem means that a person is suicidal and in crisis
the question should be does the person see it as a problem or as something they want to do ? people who are affected by the suicide of others need help too with thoughts related to what happened and talk about fears and questions they have about being left behind guilt and fear about the topic isn't suicidal
