I don't know how to feel

I feel like i want to give up already I don't find the point to continue do my best in this exam, cz I already messed up my high school...

Well, what has happened in your previous years in high school is all in the past now. You can't really do much about it. You cannot be using the phrase, "If I had done..., then now I would be..." You can't really go back in time, nor redo everything again. So, you just need to keep moving forward. Only focus on the current final year of high school. Like a new person, start from the beginning. Study and catch up little by little. With 5 papers left and exams, give yourself an outline, listing when each is due, and set up a schedule to work on each task. It may be difficult to catch up on your grades in this final year, but don't give up. Just give it your full/best effort, a lot of time, and whatever that outcome is, don't blame yourself. You've tried your best, and allow the results to speak for itself.

You can also focus on your hopes after you graduate from high school. If you have something planned afterwards (perhaps a certain field of study in college/university, or a specific type of work you'll want to be doing), you can make it as a goal. That to get closer to the goal, you'll need to have good grades in your final year.

Also, it's not the end of the world if you get bad grades in high school. Don't worry. My average back then was somewhere in the 60s. I still got accepted into a University (their acceptance average was the lowest amongst other more well-known Universities, it was in another city though). I also never ended up finishing University either. I actually dropped out in my second year and started working instead. I worked for a good 5 years, taking some courses here and there at a local college, still did not finish a complete Degree. Then, I gave up on school and just kept working, up until a few years ago, I went back to school, did a very intense 4-month Certificate, and had been working in that specific field since. Also, I've decided to go back to College when COVID started, and is still currently working towards finishing a Diploma through online courses. I had never done well in high school, so I was afraid that taking College courses, my grades would stay low. After putting effort and time, I've actually been doing quite well, I had completed 7 courses so far, and my grades had been B- to A range.

If I can do this, so can you! Believe in yourself, have confidence, and try your best. Look at the now, the present and the future. The past is history and you can't re-live it, so leave it in the past and move on!~

@exuberantTortoise2243