Academic Weapon
Call me an *** for saying this, but I don’t have an academic struggle. I have a financial struggle and support decline. I know I can do this Masters program. I do, but the zero faith my mom and family gives me, is the biggest struggle and most difficult hurdle I could ever imagine. Not to mention that no one will be helping me with my dues for that very reason. No one believes in me so no one wants to support me. I did everything on my own. From my applications, LOR, personal statement, clinical hours and observations, volunteering, to even taking out a loan and applying and writing multiple essays to scholarships. Im still seen as someone who's not putting enough effort.
Something about me is that I had NO career goals when growing up. Or ones that were up to my moms standards. I wanted to be a chef and go to culinary school… but my mom shut that down instantly. My first 2 years of college was just me half assing a psychology degree with no thought for what was ahead. My 3rd year was me just thinking eh I’ll become a therapist because thats what my degree is for and what mother says is the only thing my degree is good for. At the end of my 3rd year I knew exactly what I wanted to be and I charged right towards it just to hit a gate thats a 70k entry fee. I know im over exaggerating a bit… but not really. I graduated a semester early because I was so devoted to this. I spent that last semester applying to schools and what not. I spent that free semester focusing on my hours and working for free. Crazy right? Real adult *** sucks ***.
Usually when I get this far in writing I start to feel better. Unfortunately these arent usual times. I handled my depression so well for so long and this is the first time in a LONG time where ive had a case… i dont know what to do
💛bibi💛
Firstly, I’m sorry it feels like your goals are out of reach and like you don’t have support behind you. But I can tell you’re determined and motivated to succeed. Sometimes success and learning take us down unpredictable paths. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort in your future and knowing your hard work is worth it, no matter what you pursue.
Hey @BibiLove! I'm so glad you shared this, and you don't have to call your self names or apologize; you deserve to express what you're feeling, and all of your feelings are real and valid. I can tell how hard you've worked and pushed through, even with support that you should've had. Such a huge accomplishment should be celebrated, and I'm so sorry that your mom and family aren't recognizing that. I would feel frustrated and drained and hurt too. I see how hard you're working and how much this matters to you. If your depression is starting to creep up again, please be gentle with yourself. I have complete certainty that you will get yourself to where you want to be. 💛
@BibiLove
Hey! What you’re going through is really difficult and the fact you’ve done so much on your own shows real strength and determination. It’s painful when those closest to us don’t believe in our efforts but your worth isn’t defined by their approval.
Being pushed toward paths that don’t feel right and carrying that pressure is exhausting. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to ask for help when you need it.
Right now, small steps to care for your mental health, whether that’s talking to someone, journaling, or finding support, can make a difference.
What advice would you give your past self starting college? And what’s one thing you want to hold onto as you move forward? You’ve come so far, and you deserve to feel proud and hopeful <3
You are incredible you did all that you probably could do even more I’m sorry that you didn’t get the support you needed from people who are close to you. But you know what it’s okay if you changed your mind and wanted to do something else that happens all the time and you are so amazing inspirational wow to do all that extrw to get to where you want to be I wish I was like you you are so smart and amazing and you will achieve more greater things 🫂