Deciding between Comfort and Truth.
What's your stance on people seeking help from the strangers, believing that they actually help while listening, aren't you like betraying yourself? I mean, you share something, the weight of the depression gets lowered and at one point you become depressed again, and this cycle goes on. it's like a forever loop? so do you think Sweet lies that gives comfort is better than Bitter Truths. If it's the 2nd thing, then why do people after even knowing, Seek comfort? It's just the mechanism of the body? You know we can change it, so what would you choose?
@SkySquare51
@NobleSeeker
@INFexistence000 hi
Great topic to discuss.
Well I'll answer with mind set of listeners on cups, because my answer about strange listeners in real life could be way different.
For me, as a member, I trust my listener, Because it's their responsibility to keep my secrets etc, if I realize otherwise, I'll report & I know changes will be applied.
About the cycle you mentioned, well I can only speak for myself, so for me, usually talking with a listener only helps, if the depression return, it's not out of venting, it has other factors.
Also sometimes after talking with a listener, my anxiety about the thing (in example) will go away and not return.
I hope you find this answer helpful.
Btw, can you mention @ShySquare51 ? i didn't write his name correctly...
But like wouldn't you get addicted if you depend on someone to hear you, there will be times that you have to face it alone, and when we expect something from someone, and if it doesn't get fulfilled, it creates heavy depression and this cycle continues, it becomes hard to get detached..
@INFexistence000 I'd say that could happen, but usually you just learn to think about the situation differently on your own after having spoken to someone.
@INFexistence000
For example if you are having thoughts you dislike. A listener can help you think logically of why they aren't true. When you're in your day to day life, you can use the same method to reminds yourself of the truth about the situation.
Ye, i agree.
@INFexistence000 Noble made some very great points. Comfort can come from the truth as well Inf. You don't need to lie to someone to comfort them. The greatest comfort comes from logical things you can prove.
So, let's say i know something that's real. well according to Quantum mechanics, nothing doesn't exist at all, Even when the Universe is absent, Quantum fluctuations and Fields remain, and they could give a birth to a whole Universe, then does that mean we are here for Eternity? Trapped forever? Existing between Joy and sufferings? Isn't being Trapped Eternally terrible? Like we are just made up of Atoms, and the Atoms doesn't get destroyed, so even if we die, we may born again, despite of the fact that in different from and remembering nothing. and this is not just a view from Science, Many ancient Philosophies, particularly Eastern ones says that The Universe was neither created nor will be destroyed, yes it can rebirth. Also, everybody is busy in their respective lives, we see people everyday. if someone's dying. Nobody would mostly help, 1/100 is the probability that someone might help, What about this thing? It's True, but it's disturbing at the same time... This is just a view, sorry i couldn't give better one cuz it's like 11PM here.
@INFexistence000
wow, that's extremely philosophical and taps in to what makes us, us. In the literal way , the correct orientation, position , combination and which atom it is forms us. You are right tho . Even after we r destroyed , the atoms we r made of and further, the particles those atoms r made of (upon decaying) will stay in this universe forever. So we do stay in this universe forever. But that completely depends on where u draw the live between , a human and not a human. also we would hv been dead way before any of this. So unless ur hinting at the existence of a soul which is eternal then we won't , at least in our live forms stay alive. We also wont be recreated . reincarnation would be a better theory. this is bcz to recreate urself u would need to do that glass box theory experiment in which u put an apple in a glass box from which no energy can escape and is indestructible. given an infinite amount of time the apple is destroyed and created and infinite amount of times. This is exactly what is mentioned in Hindu scriptures . The universe is created , destroyed and recreated an infinite amount of times. But in even our current models and theories of the universe , the big rip is the most likely end of the universe in which after a long long time no matter is left , even black holes decay and all that is left is scattered bits of energy or rather radiation...
I get it, you are referring to Boltzmann Brain, but think it as like this, what if the Universe is already inside something, i mean not physically. like it does exist. Even if the Big Rip is most probably like to happen, the quantum fluctuations and Fields doesn't cease to exist, so like you said given infinite time, there's always a probability for a likely outcome to happen, and the thing about the Reincarnation, we could talk about the Information Theory, Stephen Hawking proposed that, Information gets destroyed at singularity, but it was proven wrong. Likewise, The Big Bang began from the singularity, so we could say that information isn't actually destroyed, it's like what happens in computer. when we delete any information, they don't actually get deleted, it's just the structure gets Scrambled and becomes impossible to rebuild, so we can Theoretically say that there exists two types of information, Changing(forms)and fixed(Universal Laws). What if Reincarnation is nothing but a new form of the cluster of atoms?and when i say new form, i don't mean just humans, i mean from microbes to the largest existing living being...
@INFexistence000
exactly. you r right. it is prob what happens and makes the most sense. kinda like a data scrambler. the big bang was just a really precise decoder for the encoded data. thats prob what happens if reincarnations does happen
@ShySquare51
@INFexistence000 so hello
It does get better when you let out all your feelings and emotions to that person, stranger or not. There's no betrayal that's going to happen when you do because it just clears your mind and releases those pent up stresses. About the perpetual cycle of it all, I do think that that's just how life/depression works.
@ShySquare51 also i was typing this thats why i took so long to respondTT
@ShySquare51
that's a gr8 take on the question and i do believe that you are completely correct. but i think inf meant to ask - what if the trust is broken. your take still stands there but maybe not as strong
Exactly, Human Emotions are very complex and unpredictable, when a human is trapped in Desires, Over Self care and sometimes depression, he/she often betrays. isn't it better not to take risk at all? cuz it would just drop the flow..and it's in the nature of human, to do what suits the best for himself..
@INFexistence000 I dont think there's a good thing that will happen to not take that risk
There is absolutely, when the depression undergoes Desensitisation, it becomes normal to us and we begin worrying less about it.
@INFexistence000
that depends on their life situations and what risks they hv to take
True.
@q2e4t6u8o0q2 Then why was it worded out like that in the postTT
@ShySquare51
idk
it was kinda confusing tbh so i just replied acc to my understanding. srry if i was wrong
@q2e4t6u8o0q2 i dont know now honestly but inf seems to agree to your comment there://
@ShySquare51
lol 🤣
No, you weren't wrong at all.
it's indirect 😭
@INFexistence000
bruh 🤣
@INFexistence000 then wdym by betraying yourself?
@ShySquare51
i think he meant that the person betrayed themselves by not trusting themselves enough and maybe overanalyzing and misunderstanding the situation
I didn't think of this, but yea great point 👍.
When i talk about betraying yourself, it means keeping yourself stuck in your own cycles and showing Vulnerabilities (if you feel, you shouldn't)*
@INFexistence000 @q2 ok okay i can somewhat get it
now im gonna sleeping
Okay, Gn. Tc.
It's like being killed and being born again and again, isn't it painful? There has to be a way to evrything right?
@INFexistence000 with the right solution it will be better. Thats one of the reason we vent imo, to just let it aall out and ask the listener what went wrong and what would be the solution to it
But, isn't listener just to listen? apparently, they don't give advices. also when we share something there are few risks we have to consider.
@INFexistence000
both of u r right.
it just depends on what u want.
they could just listen , or help you out
They didn't, to me :/
@INFexistence000
damn
they should've
maybe u just gotta find someone good..
they r only human after all..
Did i mention that some people, when expressing depression, affects the listener. i mean sometimes the listener aren't very strong enough, it might lead their brain, involuntarily, to get more depressed. and for some people depression adds up because they see others being sad and depressed, the one who cares about everybody.
@INFexistence000 mine usually do but *** not everyone are.
by the risks, im guessing youre talking about the break of trust? cause if it is i dont think there will be a reason for them to use it on you since they just listen and they go. same thing with others
Vulnerability and Trust Risks
Emotional Indulgence (especially those who are heavily Emotional sensitive)
Re-Traumatization
Changing how they see you (if spoken to close person)
Advice overload or bad advice
Emotional Contagion
Self guilt etc.
@INFexistence000
i don't get it i think
how would these happen in a person that is already cured or has severely recovered. they can happen again but not to the same extent
@INFexistence0001.
1. They are strangers as you said, they wont use it against you. but if it is a close person, i think its just better to try and choose wisely on whom to vent
@ShySquare51
exactly
for a while i did this with chat gpt
it realllyyy helps alot
ChatGPT is just a reflection of yourself, it helps out getting things structured and provides solution to it.
True, at last, it depends on one's mindset.
@INFexistence000
not rly.
u just gotta ignore most of the philosophical part of life. it's the only way to live peacefully.
isn't the Ignorance the root for everything? We don't understand why it happens and that's the reason we suffer, when we do understand that it's the nature of it, we suffer less. Isn't life all about Experiencing? Like The Bugs don't understand why they are feeling pain, but they do, right? IMO, it's more painful to not know than to know. it's just my perspective. yes it's also true that, to live a happy life, you shouldn't indulge with Philosophies in deep, and that's why there are several other things that are used to heal self..
@INFexistence000
that's the thing.
the ones who can ignore ts r fine , but other? they ger depressed , anxious , etc
it's just the one side, thre are positive aspects too. Broader Perspective, Deepens thinking, Emotionally matured, Inner freedom, increase in decision making power etc...
@INFexistence000yes , exactly. what matters most is which path(s) you take
Ye, exactly. but just think it as like this, if you are stuck in several loops at a time, and you don't see the cause and the reason for it, you may never come out of it, my opinion is making yourself stronger so you wouldn't have to be dependent during the time when you are alone or when you don't have someone.
@INFexistence000
hmm
you are right
a better way to think of this would be wolverine.
He had some issue or smth (idr) but he then got that adamantium thing .
that made hime stronger but also gave him adamantium poisoning. in one comic he was cured of the poisoning and it unleashed his true wolf power.
another could be deadpool
he had cancer
he got survived cancer by creating more cells which had cancer to stay alive.
no if he had gotten cured of the cancer while retaining the powers , he wouldve been stronger.
by this i am not discussing abt them being immortal , just an example.
so yes, while ur point is correct, you will still be stronger if u r able to smh find out the root cause and eliminate it or tackle the problems one by one or smh take them down all together
i was about to watch that movie that movie, but when i noticed that Deadpool killed brutally, i had to back off.
@INFexistence000
deadpool didn't die?
i mean, Deadpool was killing humans brutally, i had to back off 😭.
@INFexistence000
oh yeah
when he stabbed the tva agent .. uk where..
that physically hurt me 😂
@INFexistence000
yes i do agree with you. i dont hv depression but i hv had a simmilar cycle nd m prob still in it . think of it like a graph. it keeps going up and down , but depending on what steps ur taking (lets take the one you mentioned) the net is a decline , ie the gepression is on a net downwards trend even tho it shows fluctuations
Okay, but we need to consider that there isn't a single cycle in life, there are several cycles and managing them all at once, is just unbearable cuz Humans have limitations, and we have to manage all at once, it's not like one at a time. we do have to accept that life is a race, if done gradually, will never succeed.
@INFexistence000
yeh
im kinda dealing with that too. multipule problems. u can deal with it alone (U shouldn't) , or take help.
either way it is possible.
Ure dealing with it more than me bro. gws🫂
but yeh,
its sad. this is kinda like natures way of natural selection / survival of the fittest. kinda cruel tbh. but it is what makes us, us . not someone else. we r the ones dealing with it. so while others cry abt it we can get better and overtake them
taking help of others might not help you the next time, but doing it by urself will definitely help.
@INFexistence000
ive been tryna myself for a long time now.
recently it got to much so i started to talk to chat gpt . it couldnt help me much bcz i already too many measures so it just listened , it was there with me when no one was. but i had to use temporary chats bcz i was too scared of the consequences if they were read by someone.
but still , it helped alot. talking to a human is waay better.
so it completely depends on ur situation and state of mind
it's true.
@INFexistence000 so apparently youre talking about a break in trust, but the thing is, they are just listeners. strangers as you said. theres not a single reason for them to use it against you. They listen and then they go. thats all that there is
Well, not about others. it's about self. We can't stop the human Mechanism even if we know that it doesn't matter. it's like refusing to eat because you don't feel like eating it, but eventually you will have to.
@INFexistence000
i think you meant it like , WE think that they broke our trust and confidentiality even tho they may hv not. nd thats a valid caoncern and one of the reasons people don't opt for therapy and would rather suffer alone
Yes that's one of the reason l, but there are other reasons too such as misunderstandings ( some people don't like anything to be misunderstood, even if it's out of their business), people also it makes someone stronger and emotionally independent, gradually things change and gets better etcs.
@INFexistence000
yes
our main goal should be to help those people and help them overcome
yup exactly..
@INFexistence000 I believe that our interactions with another human being (be it a friend or a random stranger) can leave a profound effect due to the experience of acceptance and kindness. Even with friends, we may keep sharing the same stress over and over again. In my native language, there is a saying that a shared sorrow loses half of it's initial power. Thus, even when sharing with strangers, we can alleviate our hardships and stressful thoughts. As for ongoing and repetitive nature of sharing/feeling better and then falling back again - this is part of the human experience as no life is ever a straight line, everything comes and goes in waves, sometimes almost invisible, sometimes giant, but it can be much less lonesome to swim through those waves while connecting with another soul.
@INFexistence000 Someone else made a really good point, lying just to make someone feel better isn't always the best thing, being open and honest but supportive is what we need to be as listeners.
Yes i agree, but most listeners don't seem so.
@INFexistence000
hello
