Don't know how to deal with a difficult manager.
When I started working at the mall everything started out normal. I was getting along with everyone great. That's when I met this guy manager. He is attractive. Now, he is not my hiring manager. When one day I was passing by him and said hello to him asked me a question regarding work and brings up my work experience. I was taken back because I never told him anything about my work experience. Until one day I emailed him asking him what the companies policy regarding employees personal information. He said in order to access that we would have to go through your higher up manager and get permission in order to see detailed information. Now, I don't know if resumes fall under personal information. We actually talked in person about that. Anyhow, I didn't think much about it at first. One day I go into work while walking to my department he's says good morning babe. Now, I never confronted him about it so I decided to keep my mouth shut. In the past few months of working there I just find myself being nervous around him. One day he's hot and cold, sometimes I notice that he's mood shifts alot it's very noticeable. I can see it. When I work he always tries to be around me, or making eye contact, one day I came into work got into an accident he asked me where I was and told him what happened he's like I'm glad your okay. I don't know if he's trying to be friendly or if it's something more to it. I can't tell because he's so unpredictable. It's gotten to a point when he's or im around it gets tense. It's like the chemistry is there. I don't know how to explain it. He's polite and a good guy I just can't understand his mind frame. It's getting to a point where I don't know how much more I can take by not saying anything because he's never in the right frame of mind. I don't want to jeopardize my or his job. First of all I wouldn't know how he would react. 2nd he could go to HR and complain about me. Not only that what pisses me off the most is that he does things then afterwards I end up finding out about it later on. I know he's a manager and sometimes he has to reach out to people but with me not being one of his employees is not necessary to have my cell number. I was surprised that he found my number and called me to come into work. Usually, when managers call me they call from the company phone. Even other managers call me from company phone. Why, he would use his cell I would never understand. Everytime, it's something new with him. Everytime, there is drama and I don't know how much more I can take. Why, is he acting this way ? If he likes me why not come out and just say it instead of being hot and cold and confusing me even more ? Is there something I'm not understanding here ? Someone please help me figure him out. So one day he asked me to come into work and I went he said that he would let the receptionist know to put me on the schedule never happened. So when it came too attendance I had to disagree to it because I did work that day and my manager disagreed to it. And it effected my reliability. I asked to talk to her about it and told her I did work and go and confront him and she did and told her that he said that he would put me on the schedule. She said no he never said he would add you to the schedule and now because of that I lost percentage on my reliability. WTH. Is he trying to get my fired. So I go confront him myself saying hey whats going on. He says we'll it shouldnt affect your reliability I said yea it did. Never said anything else. Because my manager disagreed to it me working there that day. I know he's trying to help me and I thanked him for that. But to do something like this is beyond what I was expecting. Do you see what I have to put up with on a daily basis with him. I don't know if emotions are running high, or the more we're around each other things get tensed up, I don't know what the *** is going on. I'm confused.
hey sally, i hope you're doing okay!
it definitely sounds like there's a lot going on there with lots of different emotions.
in my experience, managers can access different things but stuff like resumes tend to get archived and the data inputted into the system (as resumes are only really used for the recruitment). perhaps your manager has access to your basic contact details?
have you spoken to anyone about it all? and correct me if i'm wrong but would you want to pursue a relationship with him if he told you he had feelings?
fingers crossed things get better for you soon 💙
@sally1980
Hello Sally, it sounds there's a lot happening on your plate. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm guessing you're working in some place similar to a department store, where there are different department managers and you don't directly work under his department? Being under the same company though, I believe Managers do have access to the info on your resume. We usually leave our contact info on our resumes, so I'm guessing he retrieved your cell phone number from there.
Have you noticed if he has treated other girls like this before? Have you been in the company long enough to get acquainted with other female staff to see if he had treated those girls the same way in the past too? As someone on a Management level, I think it's inappropriate for him to try and get close to you, and be calling you with his personal number. If he ever calls you in for work next time though, check with your own Manager first. It sounds like he doesn't have the say in whether or not you should work an extra shift, and you really don't want to get on your Manager's bad side. She's the one that arranges your schedule, it must be with her approval that you're going into to work, especially when he's not your direct Manager.
I somehow see this as him taking advantage of your kindness. You were polite enough to greet him one day, even when he's not your Manager, and he's been using that kindness to do whatever he likes. He wants to be in control, and yet stay mysterious around you. If I were you, I'd try and ignore/avoid him for a while, and observe how he treats other female staff. Focus on your work, with your Manager, follow the work schedule that she assigns. Then go from there to see what happens.
@sally1980
