Teens & Words - Expectations
Three friends are having some expectations set for them.
Aman has set his own expectation to score very good marks and get accepted into one of the top 3 colleges/universities. He is too busy these days with his studies and preparation. He doesn't even have time for eating, sleeping or talking to friends. He doesn't want to let down anyone involved in his academics.
Swati doesn't have much self-expectations. But her parents have a very demanding expectation that she should get into one of the famous universities. They also keep reminding her about their sacrifices and financial expenses they made towards her studies. This makes her feel guilty all the time.
Sam and his parents are not having any expectations at all. The same time, he is very popular among his friends and family. They are all expecting him to score great. This makes him feel on edge.
These friends feel like they are in a pressure cooker. They also feel,
*Headache
*Sweaty
*Tense muscles.
The more the exam is close by, whenever they talk to each other, they share statements like,
*I am always bad at entrance exams
*I am going to fail this one
*I might let down everyone
*I will become a failure.
Many of us can relate ourselves with Aman, Swati or Sam with one way or the other. Managing the expectations becomes impossible when they are unrealistic. We might try few things to lessen the anxious feelings. They are like,
*Eating healthy meal
*Walking and exercising
*Keep talking to friends and family
*Taking time to read about some fun things
Same time, being flexible opens door to accepting the low scores and moving forward also finding new possibilities and perspectives.
@Sirpi
I find combating the unrealistic statement/expectation with something more realistic helpful.
Eg
It's human to make mistakes.
Success is picking yourself up from a failure and trying again.
A failure does not make you a failure. Its just an opportunity to learn.
You are not your mistakes.
You are unique and special and important whatever you achieve.
What's really important? Status and achievement. Or peace and serenity?
It's your life. Parents and society are there to guide you, but you can choose your own path. Choose wisely.
@Clio9876
Those are some really insightful things you have mentioned here!
@Sirpi are you South Asian ?
@Sirpi I've personally felt that “pressure cooker” situation before, where even small things start to feel overwhelming, and negative thoughts just keep repeating. What helped me a bit was finding small breaks in between studying—sometimes even something simple like playing a short session on Cool Game Free or just stepping away for a walk made a difference in resetting my mind.
@Sirpi I can relate to how differently expectations can create pressure for each person. Sometimes the hardest part is feeling that one exam or result will define your whole future.
I think being able to take a step back is really important. Getting enough sleep, eating properly, staying connected with friends, and giving yourself short free online games breaks can make it easier to handle the pressure. I also like the point about being flexible—one disappointing result doesn't mean someone is a failure, and there can still be other paths forward.
