struggling to find my people
after years of moving back and forth between countries and rotating from school to school every year or two, I've just started uni and will be here for a semi permanent amount of time. but I'm falling into my depression hole again. between the academic workload and cultural/language barrier, it has become even harder to feel connected to my peers despite putting effort into socializing. I'm on my best behavior - being the sweetest person possible, trying to at least be enthusiastic while speaking for long periods of time (which is torture as an introvert), stepping out of my shell. yet I still don't feel like I belong. everyone else here has a place, a community, a group of people or at least close friends they reside in. or at the very least, peers they relate to. but nobody I know has been through the same journey as I have - nothing even relatively similar. I don't identify as an international student because I'm not a citizen of a foreign country, but I don't feel like a citizen of my homecountry either because of how much time I've spent abroad. the feeling of isolation has been amplified by the recent distancing of one of the few friends I thought I had, and just the sheer amount of academic workload I'm taking on compared to my classmates. imposter syndrome is also so heavy - I don't think I deserve to be here. the dissociation/disconnecting makes it even harder to focus on my studies - I've been so easily burnt out or overwhelmed. I'm not sure what to do anymore. all of this has just been so exhausting.
@considerateTree5003 thats the nice thing about the internet... You can find people just like you, unless youre extremely introverted. Go to websites like Interpals, and find people from all over the world that speaks your language
I'd really prefer if they were friends I could spend time with irl though. but ty for the suggestion.
@considerateTree5003 same here....I lost mine here and there due to things now It's a whole new class with egoistic boys ik
@considerateTree5003
I understand how you feel to some extent. I had a friend in college who was student from entirely different state and culture. It is always little harder to connect with others when we are new to any community. Also, in the start of the university, it is even harder due to students from different parts are trying to get settle into their new world. You feel that you don't belong. You are taking efforts from your side to get along with them. I am sure you will make more friends there. We are here to listen and talk anytime you want.
I am going through the same thing. I completely understand. This is how I feel almost every day.