God has abandoned me
Where is God? Where is he? I am in so much pain. I have a debilitating chronic pain, first. Then my love life is just…awful (btw, no s*x involved). I feel so alone and unwanted and recently a new wound has opened. I think God has abandoned me. I’m sure of this. God has left me alone. I’ve suffered way too many times, way too long. I’m in so, so much pain. God has abandoned me. I'm nothing and no one to him anymore. Where is God? Why is he letting me go through this ALONE? Does he not know that my pain is immense? Why is he not doing anything? WHY? WHERE IS GOD? WHERE IS GOD? WHERE IS GOD? WHERE IS GOD?
@Hydrangea03
@Hydrangea03
@Hydrangea03
Sorry, that sounds like so much to be going through (chronic pain, loneliness, and then this pain on top of that of "why have I been made to stay stuck in this pain for so long") 💜 All three of those are really deep, challenging problems that are difficult to heal or improve.
One thought I have is that God operates immanently by inspiring people to act or rest in ways that are helpful. Anytime that you're able to offer yourself space/comfort or be gentle with your suffering or you discover something that helps you feel even a little bit better, you're connecting with something that God has gifted you. You're also imitating the works and mindset of Jesus, who lived in gentleness, spent time with people who were suffering, and dedicated His life to healing and offering love to people who were hurting. God created you, God operates through you, and the things that you do through the intelligence, compassion, and creativity you've been gifted with by Him are blessed by Him. (Likewise, if you ever talk to someone else and they do something that helps even a little bit or doesn't make you feel quite as alone, that's God working through them and inspiring them to respond.)
When everything feels awful, just finding small scraps of things that offer relief might be all that feels possible--and it would be disrespecting the depth of the pain you're in to try to suggest that there's an easy/simple fix or that it's a purely cognitive/theological problem (e.g. just have more faith). Finding God's presence/activity right now might amount to finding tools or resources within the world that you've been gifted with, or finding some kind of spaciousness/compassion that's able to hold the pain with softness/gentleness.
