How do you argue with yourself?

Have you ever had a situation where you want to try something new and all of a sudden a voice in your head pops up and starts arguing with you? It’s not only about having an argument, this voice is actually trying to convince ourselves that what we intend to do does either not make sense or we are not good enough.

So, what do you usually do if this voice appears in your head? Are you having long arguments or are you able to shut it down?

Let’s explore some ways which can be helpful to handle this unhelpful voice:

Say “Stop!” - when we become aware of the voice, let’s call it from now on the the debater just stop it and take a few breaths

Challenge what the debater is telling you: Argue with your own beliefs to find new or different beliefs.

1. What are the facts here? What backs up this belief I have?

2. What are all the possible causes? Is there a less hurtful way of looking at this?

3. If this is true, what difference does it make? What could happen as a result?

4. Are my thoughts helpful? Does this belief harm me? Even if it is true now, can something be changed? How can I make the best out of this situation?

Things which help to shut down the the debater:

1. Self compassion exercises, example Being Gentle with the Self

2. Listening to music

3. Going for a walk

4. Dancing exercise or any exercise that makes you feel good

5. Write down all the negative thoughts you have and to each negative thought add at least one positive thought

6. Help someone , maybe share food with a neighbour or just call someone who lives alone

Negative thoughts become powerful when they become our only focus. We have the choice to learn to think differently, more neutral or more positive. It is not easy but the more we try the better we will get at it.

Always remember: You Matter!

Some people find it impossible to change their negative thoughts because of betrayal or abuse. If you feel that past traumatic experiences prevent you from getting a more positive mindset please reach out for help. Therapy can help you in many ways from learning new coping skills to helping you find new ways of thinking which will change your behaviour and likely the outcomes that happen in your life.

7cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information click on link https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1

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