Relationship replays…
I am very new and I’m not exactly sure how this works… I have been in a committed relationship 6 plus years and love my other half deeply. U fortunately I am seeing more and more how much his alcohol dependency effects our relationship.
this is not as simple as, “leave his ***! You don’t need him!” Because I truly love him and we have been the ONLY support for one another too many times to count (I can elaborate if necessary).
long story short, I desperately want to live happily ever after with him and have BBC a masters in clinical rehabilitation and counseling g myself… again, beating myself up over my own stupidity.
all that being says d, I am tremendously grateful to any and all advice/guidance/support that may lead me in a healthy direction.
thank you I. Advance and bless you all
@impartialWalker1193
I’m sorry you two are going through that. It’s not easy to see someone you love struggle with addiction. It’s clear how deeply you care for him <3 It's understandable that you don't want to just leave the relationship, as you have a history together and have supported each other through many challenges. Sending many positive thoughts💜
@impartialWalker1193
It is difficult to live with an alcoholic....... even when they go dry........ they are in recovery not cured......
I know if i had to do again i would have been stronger and set harder boundaries
now we are older and i see his destruction has long term effects.........health and memory etc
many family memories ruined ..........because he had to drink............. i had no way of preempting the drinking as it was not just when stressed etc.........
nope during happy times or what should have been great times ....... ruined by stupidity ....... i think the only way they can be done is if they see the longterm issues and they see nothing clearly while drinking.
@impartialWalker1193 I am sorry that you are in a relationship that is affected by addiction. There is a program Alanon that is for family friends of alcoholics. They may be offer a different perspective and the stories of how others cope.
I never used Alanon but here are other support groups for families with members challenged by addiction https://www.americanaddictionfoundation.com/getting-help/support-groups-families-addicts-alcoholics/
A therapist for you could help you sort out your feelings and dependencies.
Hope you get the support you need.
Hi there @impartialWalker1193 !
I can see a huge love you have towards your significant other, 6 years you've been fighting off your feeling about his drinking habit, and you have come to the right place to ask for opinion, good job!
A relationship is something very sophisticated to discuss, people have so many things to consider. Red Flags, Green Flags, Must-Have and Nice-To-Have, those are some parameter we use to seek our ideal match but then again I would say, there are some important questions that we have to answer during our relationship
1. Will my significant other become a good parent to our future child
2. Will I be able to bear the red flags (if there's any, or if in the way of your relationship, you found out that your significant other had your red flags) of my significant other?
3. Will you be able to settle arguments and disagreement in the next 50 years (or more)?
At least those questions have to be answered first before considering to continue into a more serious relationship
edited by soulsings remove religious question.