I'm fed up with this Life
Every now and then, I'm reminded of how ugly I look. School is ***, and you can't expect anything good if you're ugly. I can't even stay peacefully in my room without my mum taunting me, saying that everyone is 1000 times better than me while I have nothing to achieve. She even taunts me, saying every other girl is pretty while I look like a ghost or a monster. It doesn't help that my grades have sunk deeper than the Titanic.
School is another kind of ***. People silently laugh while covering their mouths when they see me, and then they tell their bestie or whoever how funny I look. My class teacher from last year even told my mother that I would yell slurs at her if she asked me a question. Damn! I've never yelled at any of my classmates, let alone a teacher. Damn! How quick she was to make assumptions about me. I guess my quietness plays a major role, but really? Why the *** would I yell at a teacher?
Is it really worth living this life? I see no hope.
@lavenderVillage7191
Sorry that things are so rough for you. I can only image how you feel. What happens to you is not okay and I wish your mother and other people would be kinder and more supportive and not make you feel ugly. Beauty is only skin deep, real beauty comes from the inside.
It can be very difficult to think that things can get better when you feel like you're not getting the support you need, but I hope that being here will help you see that they can.
Having a supportive network so that you can go to a friend to vent when things feel rough can greatly help and make you feel safer. Please remember we are always here for you!
Sharing Circle is listed as one of the Group Support rooms and open 24/7 https://www.7cups.com/connect/groupChatrooms.php
Please make use of the crisis support if needed, you can find it here.
What are things you can do on your own that give you comfort?
@lavenderVillage7191 life in high school blows. But I will say your later years, when you have a car. A job. A bit of freedom. Will be the best time of your life. My life started at 18 when I bought my 400$ rust bucket of a death trap. But it got me to parties and to work. Just hold out and stay strong. Ya mom sounds terrible, maybe make sure to never talk to her again when you move <3 I’m rooting for you, this life is worth living I can assure you :’)
I always felt I was the ugly duckling. And maybe in school I was. My mom wasn’t very nice to me either. Kids picked on me constantly. I preferred to be alone so that I couldn’t be hurt by others. I have no idea what your outside looks like but I’m betting your inside is beautiful. And that makes you beautiful. As for your grades, that’s most likely because of your low self esteem. Tune all the negative people out. Focus on you and try to be happy for you. You deserve it❤️
So I think this shouts "low self esteem" which can happen for all kinds of reasons. I have it massively.
Chances are, people are not mocking you, you are simply seeing it that way - I do too, I assume they do that and see only the negative elements.
How you get a better self-image is kinda unknown, therapy might help, there are lots of resources online - I'm still in that box though. I hope you are able to free yourself from this, in time.
@lavenderVillage7191 Your life is worth living. School is tough. I was bullied, too! But guess what? It gets better. You won't even know 99% of these people in 3-5 years. Just focus on your studies. When you get out into the real world, you'll see that people are a lot nicer. You're young, and trust me, you'll find someone that appreciates you. I'm living proof!
@lavenderVillage7191 even when things are seeming difficult this life is worth living. We can search for a light at the end of the tunnel , follow the fresh air.
I'm available if you want to chat.
@lavenderVillage7191
Hey o/, I know it’s really hard right now. If you want to talk, just let me know.
If you are in crisis please use the crisis link.
I may not know you right now, but I’d love to get to know you and make a new friend. <3
@lavenderVillage7191
it won’t rain everyday sweet girl you’ll get through it ❤️