Online Therapy Community Weekly Therapist Check-In
Hi Online Therapy Community!
We are so glad you have joined us and wondered how you are all doing this week?
So today, I wanted to ask if you had any significant experience with people struggling after experiencing trauma this week. Any other comments on the week are welcome
Anna Pavia
@annapaviacounselor hi there.
Here on 7 Cups there are many people that have been traumatized in life and as a listener I have felt the pain they feel when I listen to them.
As a participant and host in discussions, many times people talk about their past traumas. Being stuck in those traumas seems to be a steep hill to climb to get through them.
What tools do you suggest to people you advise who have deep trauma?
Are there tools that you recommend to at least stopping the self judgement and guilt that some people feel after being a survivor of abuse or trauma?
@soulsings I agree with you,my friend.
As you know, I am a retired listener here at 7cups, and listened to many people, who had truma, in their life.
I suffered from truma at birth, due to a lack of air. Because of this, I have a learning disability and do not drive. I do not work anymore.
I am grateful, for the therapist time.
(edited by amiablePeace77 2/2/23)
@calmMango9611
I am sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how difficult some things must have been for you 💙
@amiablePeace77 Thanks for being so understanding.
@calmMango9611
thank you so much for sharing this.
Thank you also for all the time you devoted to listening.
Hi thank you for your answer and the gift of your experience.
I think that the first tool would be trying to give more information about trauma.
Letting know people that what they are feeling is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. That they can t just get over it but they might probably need help. That time does not totally heal because not only the mind but also the body recorded the trauma. Also being aware to never pressure for talking about it unless the person feels the need to do it.
Listening. Understanding and validating can really help.
Another good tool is mindfulness with exercises available here on 7 Cups.
Thank you for being here
Anna
@annapaviacounselor thank you for the tools - those are very helpful.
im a patient who struggles with anxiety and I often overthink anything my girlfriend tells me. she says she’s going to sleep and I don’t believe her I’m not sure where these trust issues come from but it eats away at me I tried to sign up for therapy but I simply can’t afford it what do you tell patients who struggle with trust I want to believe her and not doubt what she’s doing but I just can’t and I’m unsure why
@mycousinVinny
Hi I am so sorry that you cannot afford therapy at the moment. something that might help you is trying to distinguish between data and information. Data is the objective fact (like someone closing a door and making noise) and information is our personal interpretation (for example he slammed the door because he was angry, he closed the door and the wind made it slam..). so when you feel that you cannot trust your girlfriend you should try to see if there are objectives data that make you distrust or if the lack of trust comes from emotions coming from your past. it is not always easy to do but if you try to make it an habit you might start to identify better why you have certain emotions. again I also advice you to do mindfulness exercises (available here on sevencups) they are a great help in managing our thoughts and slow down rumination.
I know it hurts when you would like to trust but it is difficult for you to do it.
thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable about it.
@annapaviacounselor
There are many people on the site suffering from trauma and my heart goes out to everyone having to deal with the effects of it. It is really important to admit to yourself that what you experienced felt traumatic to you and I have a lot of respect for all the people here reaching out.
What is one thing that you would you suggest to facilitate growth after traumatic events?
@amiablePeace77
Hi
you are right there are so many people suffering from trauma here on 7cups. Every person and every traumatic experience is unique, if you ask me what is one thing that could help I would say that is a compassionate listening, allowing the person to express what he feels and to degree he is comfortable with while we are listening without any judgement ready to validate his experience and be truly kind and compassionate, in my opinion this attitude goes beyond any psychological approach.
I wish you a nice sunday
Anna
@annapaviacounselor
Thank you for pointing out again how much compassion and making people feel heard without judgement are important!
I have experienced more trauma than anyone I have ever met or heard about it's an extremely lonely feeling.
@generousEyes9755
I am very sorry to hear that, please be part of our community there are a lot of people who have suffered maybe not as much as you have, but they will surely open their heart to you and help you to feel a bit less lonely.
@annapaviacounselor
As a listener many members have childhood trauma that tend to show up in relationships and their attachment styles is an issue from anxiously attached needing validation and reassurance to avoidant who are triggered by those anxiously attached as a partner etc ..
It might be nice to have a thread on this topic … maybe it already exists??
Thank you for all you do here at 7cups💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful
hi thank you for your message and you are right, past traumas affect the way we relate to people and surely affect our attachment styles. to be honest I cannot tell you if there might be already a thread on this. I am very busy at the moment and it is a topic that requires an appropriate time, if I will be able I will try to post something about it in the future, and any comment and discussion about this topic is welcome
i wish i could re-born into a world that I want and try again, I just wanna be happy tho, this world is too rough for me
@imjustsunny123
As a sensitive person (meant in a positive way) it can be hard to deal with the harshness in this world. Mindfulness helps me put some space between what happens or what is said and myself so I can deal better with my emotions. This is a link to the 7cups self help guides where you can find a guide for managing emotions too.
https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php
@amiablePeace77
thank you so much for sharing this thread. You are right mindfulness can be a great help, what is important is being consistent with it. even short exercises but doing them almost everyday it can help a lot.
@imjustsunny123
Hi I am so sorry, I can feel all the suffering and sadness that your short message conveys. sometimes life is very hard, I hope that being here on sevencups might help you see some good sides, there are a lot of people here very caring and offering their time and attention for free just to help out. this is one of the sides of life that can help. I wish you all the possible best