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Self Confidence

User Profile: RK2121
RK2121 October 6th, 2023

Hi everyone, 

Since high school, I've been in a continuous cycle of gaining self-confidence and then losing it every now and then. I'm almost 100% sure it's because of how I was treated partly through high school by people I would hang around. They would make me feel like a joke of a person and even though I'm all good with them now, that mentality still follows me which is why I have my self-confidence and lose it sometimes. I've worked on myself mentally and physically since graduating (3 years ago), which has helped me out but I just want to get past that part of me that is so weak on the inside for something that shouldn't apply to me anymore because I have changed since then.

2
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 October 6th, 2023

@RK2121

High school can be really rough, so sorry for what happened with those people but it seems that you have found a way to practise forgiveness which shows how strong you really are inside. It can be hard to stop the "seed of self-doubt" once it is planted. Do you have any supportive mantra/positive affirmation to say repeatedly to yourself when thoughts of self-doubt arise?   

You can find paths to increase self esteem here  https://www.7cups.com/path/modifier/      

This is a link to a post about arguing with yourself https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/DevelopingHealthyCopingSkills_2253/Howdoyouarguewithyourself_292269/

User Profile: soulsings
soulsings October 7th, 2023

@RK2121 that must be troubling when your self confidence slips away.

I am not sure what happens with you, but with me, I believe what others say about me and take it to heart "Oh no they said that about me, I must be a not so good person." Then I realize, wait a minute. They are entitled to their opinion but that is their opinion, it does not have to be mine. 

My reactions to what others say and do is an important aspect of my self image. The less I react, the better I feel about myself. That does not mean I act like a stone, but by not reacting, a space opens up inside and I can contemplate what to say that does not invalidate either them or me. This is not easy but worth working for, even if it takes years.