Weekly Therapist Check-in: Identifying your Inner Critic
How many of you have noticed what your inner critic tells you throughout the day? When you feel bad, anxious or ashamed I’d like you to pause and notice how you are talking to yourself in your mind. If you are being judgy towards yourself- saying that what you are feeling is “bad” or “ not right” or you are telling yourself you “should” or “shouldn't” have done this or that- it’s likely that your inner critic has taken over. What I encourage you to do today is take a moment to NOTICE what you are telling yourself when you are feeling bad, and NAME it- i.e. “my inner critic is telling me that I’m not good enough because I didn’t get through my to do list”. I’d really like to hear what you observed your inner critic is saying to you throughout the day. Looking forward to hearing from you, Johanna
This is a good exercise, thank you. I tell myself I am a failure in every aspect of my life many times. I feel wounded beyond repair so I guess I am telling myself that too. I feel helpless and stupid and regret so many of my desicions in life that I feel set me up for failure.
@Rails1996
Hello there,
We are so glad that you're enjoying the exercise. Johanna is snowed in and has limited internet access, and she asked me to post on her behalf. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you when you're feeling like you're failing but you are capable of achieving everything that you've wished to achieve. What do you feel makes you feel this way?
I find that I really go hard on myself when another person makes me feel that way. Maybe I said or asked something and the way the person responded (whether or not they meant for it be that way) makes me wish I could take it back. When that happens it sticks with me through the day and I just want hide away and not look at anyone. It also does not do me any good when later on in life it comes back randomly in my mind.
What I try to do is lock that moment away in a way that makes me forget it ever happened. I try to block it out. I'll do that by using objects that are used in movies, books, tv or video games that allow for forgetting. I would say it has helped a bit so far and I hope that the more I do that the more it helps me.
@charmariet
Hello there, I am just filling in for Johanna for today as she is snowed in but she is okay. I am so sorry that you doubt yourself as I know this can be very overwhelming for you to experience. What do you think makes you doubr yourself and what qualities do you feel that you bring?
@JohannaLiasidesMSc it's telling me that I'm not trying hard enough and that I'm wasting my time.
@DeeNoire be careful that voice can just be the Inner Critic spreading negaitve rumors
@soulsings and what makes it scary is how believable it is, that slowing down or taking time would already make me feel so guilty. Thank you so much for reaching out.
@DeeNoire
The inner critic is the voice that criticises us whether or not it is actually justified and this is what makes hearing the inner critic so defeating. It is usually made up of all of the thoughts that we have about ourselves that we have developed from what our caregivers taught us, we may have heard that we are not good enough or we are failing and thus we internalise this and we find evidence in our daily lives to support this. Thankfully most of it is not true. I want to tell you that I am very proud you've reached out. We are here for you at 7 Cups.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS thank you for reaching out. I do hope that it's not true and now I'm too scared to find out. I used to be the type of person who thinks about everything positively, but just this one, I can't. If normally I could turn my self/inner-critic as motivation, this time, it just... scares me.
@DeeNoire one way to counter the inner critic is to determine meaningful goals and or projects and then plan time during each day to work on them depending on what is the highest priority.
TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains descriptions of actions that may be very upsetting.
Hi I have depression because of being molest twice and raped and I was bullied to were I almost killed my self when I was ten
@Ptsdqueen45
I am so so sorry to hear what you've gone though. I want you to know that we are listening at 7 Cups and thank you for being so vulnerable with us with what you have experienced.
I can’t I can’t do this, I can’t do this anymore it says to me. A lot of the time I myself have no real direction, and live in my own thoughts. Apart from when I act.
I don’t know whether I can marry my Fiance or not. She is, we have been engaged for three years. She is perfect in every way, loyal beautiful. I overcomplicate things. I am also heavily regretting stopping my acting lifestyle which was in hope of career.
I feel like if I marry her I will not be able to do it again. I don’t feel my self since stopping acting. I now have a secure 9 to 5 job but it’s not the same it’s not fulfilling. My brother tells me just concentrate on my fiancé but acting is all I can think about.
This is so good! I know I am very critical of myself, because I am also very critical of others 😩. The question is, how do I identify when the critic in me is driving my behavior, when I habe a tendency to be emotionally delayed/ unaware (unaware of feelings/thoughts or delayed in -recognizing- feelings & thoughts)?
Fantastic post … I agree staying stuck is very tough mostly on yourself. I am always reminded that thinking negatively you will not live a positive life. We are our own worst critic. Give yourself the advice you would give a friend. 💕
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful yes and make a new friend - with yourself!
My inner critic says that I need to work on my promises, self esteem, and manage worry. It sometimes tells me I am worthless or bad or selfish.
@BookishWendy there are many voices in my head. For me the inner critic is just a bully and says nothing constructive. The part you mentioned "I need to work on my promises, self esteem, and manage worry." aounds like the feedback of a friend. I agree the inner critic says negative stuff like "worthless."
Thank you for sharing.
I usually think that my inner critic would just bring up my feelings of inadequacy whenever I couldn't do something the correct way (perfectionist like) if that makes sense. I'd also have that inner critic when I feel like I'm slacking off as a result of bad mood.
@Theolexluna my inner critic puts me in a bad mood if I let it and then chastises me if I do not feel like doing anything. The inner critic is NOT my friend except it does teach me how to deal with adversity.
My inner critic has been very loud. I met a new therapist last week and my inner critic feels it needs to protect me. I shared a lot of painful things and my inner critic is beating me up, wanting me to hide, stay safe, avoid risking rejection and abandonment