What Would You Like to Ask a Therapist?

Ima ask, how are you?

I guess my question is… how do you actually forget something like this?

After 28 years with someone I’m still madly in love with, I found out the first affair wasn’t the only one. There were never any real signs—we had a regular sex life, and I truly believed we were okay. The first time I found out wasn’t even from him, but from the other woman’s husband who reached out to me. Over the years, we also had regular couple arguments like most couples do, so nothing ever seemed completely unusual on the surface.

Back in 2017, when we got back together, I somehow managed to block it all out and move forward. But last year, I went through a career change that left me feeling worthless and like a failure, and now everything I thought I had buried is coming back.

It honestly feels like we’re right back in that place again. Everything is a trigger now. I found myself going through phone records and saw that this past November he had a call with his ex from 1996. They had a long-distance relationship back then, and he even visited her a few times in Mississippi. He explained what the call was about when I asked, but he never told me beforehand—and now even something like that, from decades ago, feels heavy and unsettling.

He has explained why he thinks he did what he did, and I know his mother had a big impact on him and our relationship. I understand some of the context, but it doesn’t make the feelings of hurt and betrayal any easier.

Now he keeps telling me over and over to “please move on” and that it’s not healthy for me to continue talking about this, but I don’t know how to just switch off my feelings or stop thinking about it. How do I deal with him pushing me to move on while I’m still processing all of this?

It’s like all the pain, confusion, and mistrust are right back on the surface, and I don’t know how to shut it off again. I don’t know how to go back to not thinking about it, or if that’s even possible.

Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you move forward without feeling consumed by it?

Hey! I absolutely love these kinds of posts, as an aspiring therapist myself, I’m looking forward to reading the answers to all these interesting questions.

if I were to have one question myself, (if you even can even give advice on this), how can I become a closer friend to somebody? Specifically someone who has been in my circle for so long but it’s just never progressed into something more.

How do you work through relationship PTSD?

@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS

I will give a little personal history (after the question ) that helps with where I am coming from in posing the following question.

There is one question that I ponder... In the modern world of counseling, psychiatry and related fields, what chance of success would someone like me have in finding any real relief?

Unfortunately, one of many issues I struggle with is cognitive issues. So recalling the majority of things is either not easy or not at all. Plus , what appears in my mind, I can't trust to be real, whether partially or completely.

Trying to avoid getting into too much of a rambling response, I will try and give basic information in the following.

I'm in my fifties, lifetime of severe depression ("full boat" all perks included), major social anxieties, and many other things. Lifetime ( goes back to early childhood) of counseling, therapy, psychiatrists, psychologists, behavioral health, many hospital stays related to depression, hundreds and hundreds of medications throughout that time, and nothing has made a dent in things.

Last time I checked into a hospital, everything is now completely revolved around group therapy. That didn't go over well with me. My anxiety reigned supreme and forced participation was a failure. They ended up discharging me because they couldn't help me and it was a short term facility.

Thank you

Such insightful and interesting questions you have all sent over. I am arranging a workshop very soon with a therapist that will be a live discussion and I hope you all find it useful too. 

@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS

          Maybe this has been already asked, Can insurance be used for therapy? I have been really considering it but when signing up it doesn't mention insurance anywher. At least I didn't see it anywhere. which isn't saying much considering I have would easily have trouble finding a large frying pan laying by itself on a white tile floor. It could easily take me hours to find it. Not joking...that is a reality for me. 

  Thank you

@LisaMeighanMScGMBPs need to find and create a effective practical based action plan solution for current relationships lack of attachment and their continuous dysfunctionality lead to painful separation related to people, change them and embrace with all heart and soul commitment again for happily stable reconciliation 

@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS

How to explain to parents/friends why one did sh or how to tell them in the first place

Why does failure hit harder for some?