Changing Negative Self Talk
I hope everyone had a good start of the new week ❤️
Do you have any negative self-talk which you repeat regularly when things go wrong? What could you say instead to yourself so that this unhelpful talk would not hurt you in future anymore? If you feel comfortable, share one or two of those negative statements and what would be a more helpful way to talk to yourself.
Example: Instead of telling yourself "I'm not welcome anywhere" you could say "some people like me how I am, some don't like me and that's okay, no one is liked by everybody".
@amiablePeace77
"I'm not smart enough." ➡️ "I can learn from my mistakes."
"I will hate myself if I fail." ➡️ "I will love myself if I try again."
"I'm hard to love." ➡️ "I can show myself the love I deserve."
@tinyDream
Those are amazingly supportive ways to talk to yourself and really inspiring!
Hello, I love this idea but sadly I have to admit I not yet there fully. I struggle very much with "I am guilty, it is all my fault" "I am not wanted and soon people who are close will leave me or dislike me" "I hurt and I am a monster, I don't even do enough". I wonder if someone could perhaps help with some kinder replies I could use since it would completely chang a lot.
.
@StarPond2007
Hugs (if accepted). I'm really sorry that some of the experiences you made in life led you to feel so bad and self critical about yourself. Let me give you some of my ideas how to rephrase them in a more loving way ❤️
"I am guilty, it is all my fault" - "I'm only responsible for my actions not for others. Everyone makes mistakes and I can learn from them."
"I am not wanted and soon people who are close will leave me or dislike me" - "Some people don't like me and they might have reasons which even have nothing to do with me directly but also not everyone is liked by everybody and that's okay. There are people who do like me, some will stay with me for many years, some might leave because that's the natural course of life"
"I hurt and I am a monster, I don't even do enough" - Sometimes I find it hard to control my emotions but that does not make me a monster and I can learn to manage them. I do the best I can and will keep doing it."
@amiablePeace77 instead of saying "I am a failure in life", I can say that "I am doing the best I can."
@soulsings
I like that soul.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
@amiablePeace77 thanks for the post.
the things that i involve in negative self talk about :
1. i am so stupid...... i am willing to learn.
2. i might not be able to be self independent...... i can be self independent if i work towards it step by step.
@bubblyMusic8287
Great and self motivating alternatives!
@amiablePeace77 thank you :)
I really have to stay on top of my negative self talk it comes so naturally it is easy to do. I am working on it.
@scarletPear1945
I agree, sadly when we use negative self talk for a long time it becomes habitual but regular practise can change it. Something I find helpful is shown in this exercise "Think Differently" https://www.7cups.com/act-therapy-techniques/lesson7.html.
@scarletPear1945 I wish you well. Mindfulness helps me refocus on something else.
My go to phrase "I am doing the best I can."
You say negative I say the truth.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Something that helped me during the years that I learned here is: How I see the truth depends how I look at it and how I let it impact me.
I agree. I think I am seeing it clearer than I ever have. The only chance I have for “positive” change would be to live my life as my true self. I don’t live in an area that I can do that comfortably and/or safely. Society proves everyday by their actions towards people like me that I will never truly be accepted in society as my true self.
Thank you for all of your positive efforts , you are a blessing to all.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
I hope you can be your true self here and that it helps you to cope. Hugs (if okay)
Hi @amiablePeace77,
Negative statement: “I am not good enough to become a doctor”
Positive statement: “ I am good enough to become a doctor and I will become a doctor”
Negative statement 2: “I sometimes hate the kind of person I am because I am not like my siblings”
Positive statement 2: “I love the kind of person I am, and I do not have to be like my siblings”
@Desmynn6789
I love the way you counteract your negative thoughts, one could feel the strength of your determination. Amazing!
Negative Thought:
Hopelessness because I think my disease will relapse and will lose my job/friends/family/money, and there is nothing better for me, and I could not raise the kid because I am not independent, and it is a difficult life long journey, even want to give up
Positive Thought:
There is someone with disease handle it well for 9 years, and someone with disease have job until retire, if I try my best, I can handle it well.
It does not happen now, and whether it will happen in the future depends on my attitude and action.
Everything will be difficult if think it whole life, even eating food, just do it step by step.
I can try to learn do things independently.
Whether there is something better, you do not know the future as I did not know I would live a good life, just focus on present and do it good if you do not have a long-term goal, then good things will come.
It is because of my anxiety, so I feel this, it is not the fact, I need to break the negative thinking cycle and build positive thinking cycle, cycle is not only in relationship, but also in thinking/action.
There is someone willing to help and support even they know my disease, I just need to find more support from people have the similar issue.
I now think maybe I can have a better future if I do it well, even I do not know what it will be.
I actually am in anxiety, I can learn to cope with anxiety and things will be good.
@plum6459
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It sounds really helpful how you reframed them. I hope many others will ready your post. Keep up the good work!
