I'm not sure what's wrong with me
I want to start by saying that what I did was completely unacceptable and disgusting. I don't know why I acted this way, and I am so disappointed in myself. I am 17, so I know better. While I was dog-sitting, which is my job, I went through someone’s personal belongings. They also said that I was rude to the dog, but I swear I would never intentionally harm an animal. Additionally, I wore some shorts from their home, and I was caught. I’m actually glad I was caught because I needed to face the consequences.
I don’t want to lose this job, but I understand if I do. I'm really confused about why I would do something like this in the first place. I feel terrible and cannot comprehend my actions. I didn't steal anything; I just went through their things. It felt like an obsession, and I knew they had cameras, so I have no idea what came over me. This behavior is not who I want to be, and I plan to pay back everything and cover any damages caused. I’ve never done anything like this before; it was almost like I couldn’t control myself, as if I were watching my actions but not stopping them.
I understand if you all think I'm a terrible person, but I need to get this off my chest before I do something to myself. If anyone knows what might be wrong with me, please let me know. I have ADHD, but I don't think that is the main issue.
@littlePal1492
I do not think you are a terrible person. I have done house sitting and dog sitting before and curiosity was on my mind, but I resisted. You are not the only one who may have wanted to take a peek.
I find it refreshing that you owned your behavior and seem glad you were caught to look into why you did it. that shows maturity and growth.
@littlePal1492
Sorry you're dealing with this. Recognizing it's a
problem and wanting to change is the first step. You sound very mature
in acknowledging your wrongdoing and wanting to make it up to the
family. You may lose this job, but it doesn't have to set the
course of your life forever. Everybody does something young and stupid
at least once and it's better to learn these lessons early in life before there are bigger and more serious consequences. Apologize with a handwritten note that acknowledges you
know it was wrong and want to do right by them, and see where it goes from there. Even if they take it poorly, take it in stride and use it as motivation to do better the next time you're trusted with someone else's property.
You should speak
to a therapist about what happened to better identify the problem and potential
solutions. ADHD can cause impulsivity, but if you feel it's deeper than
that then your gut may be right. There are a number of other conditions that
could cause something like this, though nothing I personally feel qualified enough to bring up as a random internet stranger. Make sure you tell the therapist about any instances of similar behavior, and anything else that seems odd and might set this compulsion apart from your usual baseline mindset and actions.
@littlePal1492
You made a mistake and firstly you should give yourself some grace for the situtaion, you did a great job taking accountability. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, it could be a number of reasons as to why you did this.
I would honestly journal about this and ask yourself how you felt and what you were thinking before going through peoples belongs,how you felt during,and after. What were your thoughts before,during,after.
I would also advise that just because you made a mistake does not mean you're not entitled to your feelings,feel whatever you need to and after you do then you'll be able to process it. Remember it's important to look back at our mistakes so we learn from them and become better