Anniversary of trauma coming up.
20 days from today will be the anniversary of the scariest day in my life. January 11th...
January 11th, should be the happy day it’s always been, it’s my little brothers birthday. As much as I try to distract myself from that day coming up, the more I start to panic and have panic attacks.
I can’t do that to my little brother, rob him of the one day we celebrate the day he was born.
I was told by my therapist that in the days coming up and as it gets closer to the day, I may have flash backs, nightmares, panic attack and just keep reliving that day over and over.
Can anyone offer me any advise on how to prepare myself in a healthier manor for this day? I’m already so sick to my stomach and sick of it controlling my life as it has been because every day I wake up and I tell myself it’s one day closer and I lose my power more and more.
Has anyone experienced the same feeling I’m feeling? How did you deal with it? Was there anything you did to make that day easier? Is there a way of avoiding the flashbacks, panic attacks, etc?
@Ashleydw1106. I haven’t found a way to avoid flashbacks. I say some affirmations after I have them or do some mindful breathing videos to help myself calm down. I have heard of some people using a grounding technique called 54321. I believe that it is done by naming 5 things that we can see, 4 things that we can hear, 3 things we feel, 2 we smell and 1 that we taste. I find coming here for support helpful too. I that you will find something that helps.
Hi. I'm so sorry for any bad experience you had. I dreaded getting up this morning on Christmas which should not be the case, but when you have toxic family you have to visit its so scary. I can totally relate. But up until this day and each holiday, I prepare by running and exercising 5 days a week, lifting weights not heavy, listening to music or any hobby I love and when it's time to face that situation it's not as difficult but does not eliminate it all together unfortunately. I still left drained and my sister was still as evil and cruel as the last time, but I wasn't as down as I found myself before because I'd made time for self care and valuing myself. After the event today I came here and chatted about my experience to get off my chest and I feel a really good lift. I hope this helps and I send you lots of love, support and hugs. ❤
Thank you for sharing this with us and allowing space for us to offer advice and discuss similar adversities.
Trauma anniversaries are an issue for me too. My parents died when I was a child. My mother died when I was 6 and my father when I was 9. Holidays also have a grieving undertone which isn’t always easy.
You’ve accepted it will hurt so you’re more-so embracing for impact. That day I would try to take work off or school if possible. Have your favorite comfort food prepared. If there are any friends or family you’re comfortable with make them aware ahead of time you will need their support during that time. My uncle often spends time with me when I grieve and I with him because his wife and son died. I would also try to go somewhere you enjoy or stay home. Make your home smell good with candles or likewise.
In conclusion, activate all five of your senses positively and the good stimuli in your nervous system will help override the negative stimuli of sad thoughts.
Do not force or suppress sad thoughts tho. Welcome them and confront them. We are making mends with our pain.
Much love and support,
Milton St. Emiliani (CGCS, ORDM)