Trauma Support Check-in March 13th - 19th
Hi everyone, How are you doing? A chill check in this week, feel free to share how you are, what you have been up to... :)
I m questioning very much everything but especially if I will ever be able to return to 'normal' work and life after yet another depression relapse and if I ever will experience a mutual and respectful relationship as it seems past trauma keeps preventing this and triggers an attachment disorder which I seem unable to find a way out from.
Hi @anonyLemon4233,
That's a valid concern, wondering if you can go back to 'normal' after another depressive relapse. I hope and believe you can return to healthy, with time and healing. Wanting a mutually respectful relationship is something we all need, and I understand how trauma and an attachment disorder can get n the way of that developing. Do you have a therapist or counselor you can depend on? That might be good to seek out to help you unravel how you got to where you are, and ways to get to a healthy lifestyle with healthy relationships. And of course you're always welcome to share here :)
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
Thank you for your wishes @WriteToHeal42
Yes been through 20years of therapy since depression became unbearable and still attending sessions. Now trying EMDR.. But in process have never had a stable respectful relationship... So now it feels more than ever as impossible. All those years of working on myself and still it seems I m hindered
Hi @anonyLemon4233,
That a long time in therapy - I hope you have gotten some good benefits out of it. I hope the EMDR goes well also. Stable and respectful relationships are important, and I'd say vital to healing. Maybe the relationship with your therapist will be one for you, and maybe you can connect more here on 7cups as you are ready. I can understand feeling hindered after putting a great deal of time and effort into it, I hope you find whatever's holding you back and find a way through it.
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
@WriteToHeal42
On one hand, I'm dealing with loneliness. The other, I'm dealing with the fact that people always need me, are always around me, and worrying that they secretly resent me, lie to my face, or talk behind my back. I honestly don't know how to work on the latter issue.
Hi @Torean,
I hear you, dealing with loneliness on one hand and the needs and presence of others while wondering what their true intentions are. Your needs matter, so please don't forget to make room for yourself in all this. And you can't pour from an empty cup.
I can understand worrying that people aren't who they present themselves to be, especially worrying they resent, lie, and gossip. One way I've learned to deal with worries like this is to avoid emotional reasoning, which is feeling a certain way, and thinking that because you feel that, it must be true. Instead I like to check the facts - is there any evidence supporting this? Is there evidence against it? Sometimes it helps me to write it all down so I can see it clearly. Another way that helps me is talking to someone I trust, like my therapist or close friends who have proven their loyalty, to get a new perspective. Do you think trying something like these would help you?
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
@WriteToHeal42
Thank you, you make some good points. I rarely feel up to talking about my issues to others, trusted or not, but it is definitely important to get a different perspective in one way or another. Bringing rationality to my emotions can be good, but it also takes me down a rabbit hole where I am way too good at rationalizing points I don't want to be true.
Hi @Torean,
That's fair, you don't want to go too far with rationalizing emotions. I hope you find people you can trust and depend on. Of course you are always welcome to share here, and take any ideas people give you with a grain of salt.
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
@WriteToHeal42
I had to stop therapy because once again I have to put my needs aside to comply to meet someone else's needs in my family. Seems to me that nothing is really mine. Things are always being taken from me rather than having the option of giving freely, and it sucks.
Hi @scarletPear1945,
I'm sorry to hear you had to stop therapy - that's really important for support and growth. Your needs matter just as much as the next person, so I'm especially sorry to hear you had to put your needs aside for another family members' needs. I hear you, having the freedom of choice being taken from you totally sucks. I can understand why it would feel like nothing is really yours.
What's one thing you can to make something feel like yours? Maybe redecorating your room, expressing yourself through posts like these, or something like that? What are your thoughts?
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
@WriteToHeal42
Finding ways to create is something that I enjoy and that is what I do mostly to keep a bit of peaceful headspace.😊
Hi @scarletPear1945,
I'm glad to hear you have creating things as a way to enjoy and create a peaceful headspace, it sound very pleasant. :)
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
I was supposed to receive EMDR from my family therapist but now she is out for surgery for a month... :( so I joined here and am seeking online counseling here as well. Apprehensive, afraid it won't help, been suffering so long. Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis last year in January. Hospitalized. Had severe health issues. Terrified. Loss of my dreams, depression. Was doing better. Things looking up. Turned my life around, positivity, diet, exercise, got on a good medication. October my Grandma passed. Deep depression. Compounded, layers of loss associated with her death no thanks to unsupportive friends and family. Isolated, lonely, terrified of my condition, traumatized by toxic interactions in relationships, severe loneliness, loss of my Grandmother brought a lot of uncaring people to reveal themselves... extremely painful. Her death was traumatic as well. I was with her. It still hurts every day. The loneliness and lack of support and strong friendships with my MS hurts beyond words. Trying so hard to keep my head above water. Today is an okay day, but most are deep depression. Questioning God. Need support.
Hi @pioneeringMoon7172,
I'm so sorry to hear about all your struggles and loss. My condolences for the loss of your grandmother and other loved ones. ❤️ May I give you a virtual hug? MS is a hard diagnosis to cope with, and then there's the hospitalization that's understandably terrifying. It sounds like you've had a lot of ups and downs, as well as truamas without adequate support. I'm sorry to hear about your therapist situation, that must have felt disheartening. I hear that your going through a lot of pain, loneliness, isolation, and terror about your condition, and you feel uncertain about online support. I hope we can become a healthy part of your support system here at 7cups. We're here for you. ❤️ I can understand why you're questioning God, it's hard to understand why He allows such painful things to happen. Psalm 34:18 has been comforting to me, maybe it can comfort you as well. Anytime you need some more support, post on one of these Trauma check-in threads and tag me, and I'll reply as soon as I'm able. ❤️ Sending you a virtual hug if it's okay.
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42
I’m not doing well at all. My mom told me yesterday that my sister in law would bring the family back together because I broke it when I ruined her marriage. My step dad was wrong I was a minor… it’s not fair. Then today she ends up in the hospital they live 4 hours away. She wants me to drop everything including my nephew/son and go and take care of her? The worst part is I feel guilty life I’m being a bad daughter or something. I’m so frustrated.
Hi @ShelbyJohnson,
I'm sorry to hear you aren't doing well. I hear you're dealing with family drama and blame you feel you don't deserve, especially since you were a minor at the time. I'm sorry too, to hear your mother is in the hospital. It sounds like your first responsibility is your son/nephew (if I understand right, they are minors, or adults who need your care?), but your mother wants you to make her the first. That sounds hard because you want to balance your roles as a parent/aunt, as well as your role as a daughter. I can understand why you're feeling frustrated, I'd feel the same way in your shoes.
Best wishes, WriteToHeal42