Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Monday April 9th 2018
On my last check in, I advocated the use of the word ‘no. On todays check in, just to confuse and perplex, Im advocating saying ‘yes!
‘No is a good word when youre being asked to take on everybody elses stuff, and the people pleaser in you wants to say yes, even though your head is screaming no! But if you only ever say no, think what possibilities you may miss out on. Saying no to every opportunity will limit your experiences, drain your self esteem, and keep you trapped in a bubble of your own making. There are times when the word yes allows you to stretch outside your comfort zone and try something new. You never know, you may learn something new, meet someone new, and enjoy something new.
So I wonder, are there things youve been putting off? Are you procrastinating over something but not moving forward? What stops you from saying yes to opportunities?
Just as a reminder, as part of National Child Abuse Awareness Month, the trauma community are holding an art event, (see this link). Ah ah, stop a minute. Dont dismiss it. How about giving it a go? Saying yes!
I've been well on top of my recovery for years now, and been doing great enjoying the simple things in life. But today, I feel like I've come crashing back down. I've been quite nervous over recent weeks and I've done a pretty good job of managing "the nerves" but today I've had a procedure called hysteroscopy, and also some treatment, I'm proud of myself that I actually went through with it after i went into complete meltdown before the proceedure, the nurses were really nice and supportive and the consultant offered to refer me for a general anaesthetic which I thought would be worse because I'd be put out and therefore have no memory, being a survivor of a date rape that wasn't an option I'd consider, so I got my shit together and had the proceedure. But it's triggered a lot of negative thoughts off and I've forgotten my coping skills, it maybe the effects of the pain killers shaking my brain? At this moment in time, apart from some physical pain in worried I might slip back and I csnt have that. I don' wsnt to feel like this for my next procedure. Life's crap at times
@navyTortoise5674
Im in awe of you for just getting on with it! That sounds pretty tough to face as a procedure in itself, but the fact that its potentially triggering, youve got more than double whammy right there. I wonder what coping skills youve found have worked in the past? Are grounding skills helpful to you, to keep you in the present and remind yourself that youre safe and well? Or do you benefit from a good old talking to? A bit of common sense to remind you what happened to you in the past was criminal and out of your hands, whereas the procedure youve just had is ultimately for your benefit, and you have choice and control.
Its okay to have that wobble though. Sometimes the mask of coping can slip, but it doesnt mean you dont still possess all the strength youve shown in adverse times. Its just there are times that call for us to have a little more strength than we feel we can bear, and thats when you turn to others to help you bear the load. Let me take the strain for you a little. Youre not alone x
@DeborahUK
Thanks very much for that empowering response Debs I wasn't expecting to feel up lifted, a couple of days have passed now, and having read your response a few times and reflected upon myself, I don't feel to embarrassd with how I acted, I lost my bottle, had a wobble and after being offered a GA (which when I look back on that, I'm utterly gobsmacked they even considered this, how on earth was that helping) anyway, what would you say "put you big girl pants on" and get the job done😊. My coping strategies, hmmmm I'm usually quite grounded, so I try and keep things real and put things into perspective once I've threw a wobble and ate a few crisp butties lol. What's interesting tho, I've read back the past few weeks of my journal (everything is in my journal, what time I got up, how I feel, my moods, who's miffed me off, my thoughts, what made me anxious to what I've eaten, it' my holy grail) and what's clear, plain as day, and fact, is that my mood and tolerance has dipped considerably, my anxious state has been a bit of a battle in recent weeks and I'm sure it', increasing, so I need to spend some time with this, and get back on top of it before it grips tight. I have a feeling I know why, subconsciously, I'm already feeling the pressure from expectations of others, I wonder weather this contributed to my meltdown the other day? Probably..... time to visit my counsellor again I think.
Apologies for rambling 🙈🙈 thanks again.
@navyTortoise5674
Aah, others expectations eh? Because what do they see? Strong, capable, caring you.
Could you let them in a little? Let them know you get scared too? Its okay to feel vulnerable. Its called being human. Its just harder to share that with others.