Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Monday February 12th 2018
I loved Ravens post yesterday about finding a peaceful place, and appreciating your surroundings. It was a very beautiful picture she painted in my mind. But of course, some peoples safe place may not be beautiful. Post trauma a lot of people may find themselves retreating, building walls around themselves, their own castle in which to stay safe.
How enticing does that look? A place of beauty, of peace, of safety. But is it? Do those walls keep you safe, or do they keep you trapped? Do they keep others out, or stop you escaping.
Is the reality really as enticing as the dream, or do you effectively end up behind walls that imprison you with your trauma? Where escape feels impossible?
I have news for you. Those walls can come down, and the view from outside them can be as beautiful as Raven described. But its bit by bit, and theres no way round them, you have to go through them. More news. Whilst you chip away from the inside, theres lots of people prepared to help you from the outside too. You just have to accept their help. After all, no ones going to come and start knocking walls down without your permission are they? But together you can break that wall down, you can find freedom from that trap you found yourself in. You can indeed be free.
How is your Monday going? This is a safe space to share how youre feeling, to ask for help if you want to start bringing those walls down, to make connections if youd rather stay behind them just a bit longer. Youre always guaranteed a warm welcome ❤️
Is my castle trapping me if its built of pillows and down comforters?? Its very comfy in here, and theres snacks! Plus I have Netflix and Hulu so well never run out of things to watch! 😜😂😁
I've been fighting depression and anxiety since we lost my grandma's house in 2014. (Before that my depression and anxiety was minor before that.)
I lost my childhood home and lost my boyfriend of 8 years just a little over a year later. They were both my security. I feel I am trying to walk on old, broken, wooden bridge.
Then my new step mother has manulpicated my father's side of the family to be against me. (Including my two youngest brothers, that i would do anything for.) After she pushed the doctors on me and pushed paxil which gave me bitter and dark thoughts. When i was thinking that I should take myself out (since stopping the meds, I do not have those thoughts.) She told me to leave and go to homeless shelter, not to see a therapist.
I've been missing my brothers and my cat lately.
She hates me because she thinks I used her, but I was so broken and couldn't heal. However if I ever get money I would pay her back so she knows I was nevervtrying to use anyone. I'm just trying to feel like the secure me again.
@Rebekahwriter13
Thats a lot of loss you experienced in rapid succession. Coupled with the fact your step mother didnt appear to show any compassion, I can quite imagine how that could cause you depression and anxiety. In my experience, there are some things in life that feel very unfair. Injustices we may feel have been done to ourselves or others. And for all our desire that it hadnt happened, or we could get our point heard and be better understood, often that opportunity doesnt arise. Question is, do you spend your life thinking ‘if only and licking those wounds, or could you perhaps think ‘sod you!
Are the injustices caused by the wicked stepmother worth sacrificing your future happiness for? Im not suggesting its so easy as shrugging it off and moving on, but there may have to be an element of that do you think? Or else all your energy is going into the past, and whats left for you to carve out your own happy ever after?
@DeborahUK
I'm kind of a stuck part of my life. I wrote a lot and I create a release book. I write and write and I physically let it go.
@DeborahUK
This thread is lovely. You really showed how the darkness of our minds works, yet how it's possible to change it.
Personally I'm working on this, on letting these walls be destroyed in a safe way.
@Booklover95
Its a big realisation to accept its time to knock a few of those walls down, so well done you for getting to that point. Its not necessarily an easy journey, but the destination is worth the ride.