Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In : Monday, October 9th, 2017

@Halogen

Hi there Halo thank you for tagging me in this wonderful check-in I believe everyone has hope inside them. It is just really looking past whatever situation you are going thorugh and knowing you are worth it! Find it as its there. Today in check-in I did almost the same thing as you done here. Mine was on reacting to the environment or situation you are going through and not being mindful. Wow I think the Gods are tellnig me something for my life

Thank you Halo for this sweet reminder

My day is starting slow; I have cried already, mourning/grieving what's past. I am doing yoga now.

What I have planned is continuing to house-hunt, working on the goodbye photo book present I was making for the kids I worked with and getting that sent off, and at some point perhaps going to the hospital when my sister's baby is born. I will also go out at some point perhaps to run an errand or two. I will also respond to my therapist.

- Singer

No real plans for the day, aside from doing what I can to stay grounded and cope ("same thing we do every day, Pinky....") Having somewhat of an "off" day so far, or rather feeling "off" -- nothing specific nor particularly distressing for me to to deal with, just..off. So rather than stressing myself out looking for answers (which requires knowing what the questions even are) I'm compassionately allowing these maddeningly ambiguous feelings to be as they are, until they pass (as they eventually will do).

I guess employing self care to make myself comfortable in the meantime counts as a plan. Or trying my best to do so, anyway. One millisecond at a time.

@Halogen Love your post and am adding some ideas for holding onto hope for anyone who may find this useful

If you are struggling with feelings of hopelessness, here on some tips on what you can do today to rekindle and foster hope:

Start a gratitude journal.
Start small and keep it simple. List at least 3 things that you can feel grateful for today. For example, my gratitude list for today:

I am grateful for the special people I have in my life
I am thankful for my eyesight to appreciate the beauty around me
I am grateful for the muscles that make it possible for me to smile at others

Proactively practice self-compassion.
The trick is to non-judgmentally feel your feelings good or bad, and instead of fighting against them, accept that it is okay, even healthy, for you to feel as you do and to give expression to your emotions.
You have a right to those feelings. They are not bad, weak, or stupid.
You can say things to yourself like, This really hurts, or, this is really hard.
Then follow up that statement with something like, I am here for you, or, Ive got your back. To make the exercise more powerful, use your own name in the place of you.
Do something you are good at.
If you are good at making a grilled-cheese sandwich, make one for yourself or for a friend.
By practicing things that you know you can already do well, over time you build confidence and create your own motivation to try out new things.
Write a goal for yourself.
Again, start simple and small. For instance, if need to check the mail, break the goal down into manageable steps. Dont forget to congratulate yourself for each step you complete!

Step 1: Find the key (if applicable).
Step 2: Open the door.
Step 3: Walk to the mailbox.
Step 4: Get the mail.
Step 5: Walk back to the house.
Step 6: Pat yourself on the back for a job well done!

Get help! Sometimes we all need a little support. Sometimes we need someone outside of ourselves to hold hope for us while were finding our footing again.Due to the fact that you are alive and reading these words, I know you possess strength, perhaps greater strength than you believe you have. I know this because you survived what many people would consider unimaginable, unthinkable cruelty and mistreatment.

Allow yourself to reach out for help in finding your way back to hope.

Look for a therapist or counsellor who is skilled in trauma healing or build a good support network up around you. Building hope for a balanced and healthy life, for something better, is the first step toward realizing a life that you always imagined and yearned for.

Tagging the total list of members/listeners who wished to be tagged. I am sorry as I have not been using this updated tag but I will from the next time onwards!

@Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raycascotch @sujaypai @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @chayil @Sharkradio @MKjart @Chayil @Lilyflower0817 @ caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Autisaunt14 @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @22charms @blissedNblessed @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPearl1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @LovelyChantel @Compassionatelistener109 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @CaloenasNicobarica @unassumingSummer6023 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Hoxenos @CaloenasNicobarica @FrankieDylan

I had a nice day today. A positive meeting with my support worker. A nice walk with a friend.

Sometimes all you have is hope. Nothing feels right and you have to focus soley on the idea that it can be other than it is one day because otherwise you won't make it. I have so many days like that. And then you go through the motions doing what is good for you in the hope that one day you can feel otherwise.

But then a day like today comes, when I can actually be in the present a bit, instead of just in my hopes for the future.. it is nice to have a good day. Not a perfect day. But a day where it is a little bit more than just the hope.

My landlord keep pushing away a stray cat that helps my anxiety. However we cant afford the extra charge to keep her (bingo) mama cat with her baby

It kills me when I have to shoo her away.

@Halogen Thank you halo for holding on to that hope.

I havent been checking in for a while because id lost a fair bit of hope. Not sure if have found any yet but trying to talk more at least. Under alot of pressure to move on both at work and by family. Its hard to.

Work want me to helo cover special care baby unit. Ive refused so far and theyve understood but get the feeling as we lose more staff i may not have a choice. Triggers are there still and flashbacks not stopped tho have agreed to try emdr with therapist and started looking at past traumas on a time line.

Family dont mean to pressure but they are. Hubby is still lost and says not much to look forward to and i know he deserves better. Have asked for a couple of weeks until grandparents memorial to make a decision. Just have to survive until then.

Wishing everyone on here much strength and hope. Hugs

@Halogen

Hello Halogen and everyone. Hope things are going good for you.

Ah, hope. Nowadays, hope is the one thing I have that's holding me together. A hope for a better tomorrow. A healthier self, a better condition. But hope without action or initiative can be counterbalancing. Things have been rough, but some days are better than others. Some days I realize how many lovely people I've met on here, some days I realize how I alone I am in my unhealthy relationship and the fact my family was so abusive.

Often-times it's mixed, a very bitter-sweet kind of taste.

I feel very motivated to towards my future. It's frightening. Intriguing. Suffocating. Alluring. Repugnant. But I really won't know until I get there. I want health in my future. My own mental health, positive friends and co-workers, and a lover that won't drive me crazy. A healthy life with healthy connections.

I grow tired of getting triggered and/or crying only to get a pep talk (from a vastly unhealthy individual)that if not touted as the most helpful and supportive thing is a trigger for their rage. Then they run off after shutting everything down in the house and go sulking in the bedroom with the lights off listening to their fantasy audiobooks. Okay, I went on a tangent. Sorry 'bout that. Relational intelligence. Very important for connections. When I look at these things as a learning experience, something to take wisdom from... it's easier for me to manage. I hope for a bright future with love, liveliness, happiness, and of course hope and passion for things to come. And I wish the same for all of you!

To you!

Hope is a powerful but exhaustive thing. I recently took a break from trying to 'get better'. It was a good decision. Beforehand, I was feeling hopeless. Afterward, I have a tiny slice of hope to hold onto again. It's weird. The brain is a mysterious thing. The past few weeks had been rough. I had run out of hope. I had several breakdowns during those weeks, and none of my coping techniques seemed to help at all, adding to my hopelessness. It was awful. Then I remembered: one of my personal rules is that it's okay for me to take a 'break from recovery'. So, I did: I took a break for about a week from all of my coping methods, including 7cups. I stopped trying to cope with how I felt. I allowed my mind to rest, to just exist in that suffering. I allowed myself not to expect anything. It really helped me. I didn't have any breakdowns during that rest, which is strange. In fact, I found some hope again during that fog. It might sound counterintive, but taking a break from recovery really helped for me to find some hope again. I still have the same stressors I had a month ago, but after taking a mental break, I have found some hope again and am ready to continue on with my recovery. I have the strength to get back to practicing my old coping methods, which are having a good effect on me again, and I'm so grateful for that.

So, in summary, for today I guess I am tentatively doing okay?

I am hopeful again for the future, at least temporarily, and that's worth something.