Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In Sunday 29th October 2017
Hello alle and welcome to a new day. In the military when we were training they used to say "Welcome to your next evolution". I love that. They were saying everytime we learn something new, or complete a task, we evolve into something more knowledgeable and better. Trauma can change us in many ways, at first it's alle bad. But as we work out our particulars and our woes, we change from that devestated person we were. We grow stronger, more wise, and most commonly far more compassionate of a person than we ever were before. So in a way, the things we went through helped shape us for the better. It can be impossible to see that when we're still suffering for sure. I can say for myself, that alle the horrible things I have seen, done, and been done too me, I have no love for nor would I care to repeat any of it. Yet these are the things that stopped my initial path, and forced me to open my eyes and change my ways. These are the things that made me whom I am today, and made it possible to help many as well. We can look at our trauma with the same fearful eyes as when we experienced it, or we can learn over time to see beyond the woe to what kind of person it shaped us into. We can focus on the bad aspects, or we can look at how it made us more thoughtful, more patient with others, more kind and understanding. How we look at things and carry them is up to us. Is there anything of your woes that you can find good in?
The World is Yours! This is a safe place, feel free to respond, or just pop in to say hi. Welcome to your next evolution! 
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@Raveninthelabrynth
Hello! 
Just passing by, not in a very good shape. All of a sudden my health has started to deteriorate. I am planning to visit a doctor soon if I don't get well. Some mental stress also persists but otherwise, everything is ok. I hope everyone else is having a good day too much love xxx
With regards
Halo
@Halogen (((HUGE HUGS))) I'm here iffin ye need or wish my friend.
@Halogen
Sorry you're not feeling so great. I do hope you feel quite better soon. Glad you stopped by to let us know. <3
@Halogen
Hi Halo, I'm sorry you're feeling cruddy, and I'm glad you're plan is to get checked out. I'm fighting some germs-gone-wrong myself, most likely another bout of bronchitis. I work with very young children, and spent a good part of most of my work days last week wiping gross goopy little noses. With my immune system issues, it was inevitable 😕. But I've been vegging in bed this weekend hoping to do damage control. Try your best, Halo, to get some rest, and give yourself permission to have an Anti-To-Do day today ☺
@caterpillargirl
Sounds like a good plan to veg and recooperate the best possible. Good to see you!
@Halogen
Get better, dear friend. I hate to see you struggle ❤ hugs.
It takes a strong person to find good in their woes..not everyone is so strong. Using your worst experiences to create something positive is definately not easy but always worthwhile. I just hope ppl suffering have the strength to get through and turn their woes into something good (for them and for others). Being able to just emphasise with someone is a reward in itself (not many would know how to if they hadnt been through what they had I guess). Helping even just one person would bring something positive out of something negative
@lightVillage54 Indeed it is tough. No one should feel bad if they aren't yet at the point where this perspective. It took me years to get here. Alot of thought and Therapy. It is a reachable goal however. And yes, it's a true blessing to be able to take our woes and help another.
It's wonderfull to see you here today Bunnie, I hope alle is well for you.
@lightVillage54
I love this. "Helping even just one person would bring something positive out of something negative"
This is the one thing I've held on to for years as a coping tool.... maybe just one person will find hope from what I've been through. Your words gave a good food for thought. Thank you for sharing.
@KristenHR something Iv learnt from possibly the best listener on here @raveninthelabrynth :)
Had a fitful sleep last night, full of discomforting/triggering nightmares. Trying my best to stay present and allow the resulting emotions that were stirred up by the subconscious storm to pass through (which they will). Is taking a lot of energy, kindness and compassion to consciously hold off the ever opportunistic inner critic amid all the racing thoughts and (false) sense of imminent danger (should likely eat something ASAP -- keep up the basics and all that).
Another day in paradise.⛺❤️
@melliotm Hugs, It's wonderful tosee you today.
May you day turn around swiftly.
@Raveninthelabrynth hugs ❤️ thank ye, Raven. Fort O'Clock it is ⛺
@melliotm lol I like that
@melliotm
So sorry it was such a difficult night for you. I'm glad you are sharing and are here fighting for yourself. That inner critic can sure be a pain in the tooshie for me at times too, so I hear you. Glad to hear you're going to work on some basics of taking care of you. Thanks for being here and for sharing. Know you are definitely not alone in your fight, and sending hopeful and healing thoughts your way.
@KristenHR I just had some breakfast, so there's one simple, small act of self compassion to be proud of. 🐢 And thanks -- even though I am feeling rather uneasy at the moment, I know it's going to be OK. I'm doing what I can to manage as best I can (including sharing my struggles with the community). ❤️
Hello ^^
Yesterday I went to the Day of the Dead parade, at the very start of it: a tribute to the poeple that passed away saving others during the earthquakes. Behind us on the next street, a building waiting to get demolished, completely broken. I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. Yet somehow it was ok that I wasn't the only one.
It was a fun day overall, and I helped my sister beat a huge challenge, being in a crowded street, the same one she was on when it happened. The same one full of buildings to be demolished. But this time, the masses where calm, respectful and enjoying the festivities.
The traffic was the same, the amount of people was the same, and even if I didn't want to think of these things, people kept recalling it and the cracks on the floor and walls were impossible not to see.
I wish I could get rid of the constant reminders. I wish I wouldn't freak out when a shaky uneven table moves. But im happy there's progress these days, the nightmares have gone away, at least for now.
I do still see a group of people standing on the street and wonder if another earthquake happened. I also have recently started to use elevators again.
@PenguinsCrossing
It sounds like a mixture of good and struggles you've shared. Yet in the midst of this you are making positive strides. I hope you are being gentle on you and managing well in spite of the challenges. It's good to hear from you. :)
@KristenHR
Thanks Krist! I am doing well most days as I've been having anxiety over other day to day matters and not so much over the trauma. My biggest fear is just falling back down because everyone I know is equally traumatized.
@PenguinsCrossing
Thank you so much for sharing this. Im glad that you could be their with your sister as she faced this street on this day.
I dont know much about traumatic events that effect an entire community, like a natural disaster. But I do know that it is good to see you reaching out and taking steps towards health - as Im sure many there are. I am glad that you are able to take notice and work on processing what many there must be going through.
In some small way reading your posts makes me want to overcome my own struggles because I see you being brave and sensible in the face of yours. 💛
@themainjane
Thank you Jane! I hope you do overcome them too. 😇
Hi everyone. I am new here. I really need therapy and help but don't know where to get it so it would be nice to get some insight. I have issues with men, and always have. I Have a terrible relationship with my father, uncles, and have had the worst men in my life. My first boyfriend abused me, physically, sexually, and emotionally. My most recent boyfriend (4 months ago) was someone I thought was the one. He made me feel loved and safe for once. Then, he stopped talking to me out of nowhere and left me. I can't trust men, and I am developing a hate towards them. I just want someone who can love me and show me something different, I wish I can meet the man of my dreams. I know he doesn't exist, which hurts more than anything. Any advice would be helpful. I have no clue how to think and how to deal with this. I have lost all hope in men
@niceFarm6311 Hi Farm welcome to The Traumatic Experiences subCommunity. :)
If you look in your menu here you will see you can browse for a Listener like myself, or a Therapist.
There are also many self help guide here that are awesome.
Please feel free to post me or any of the Support Team here. :)
@niceFarm6311 I know the feeling but u know what when u r strong enough u will realise that u don
@lightVillage54 thanks. I guess I feel like the only man I can get is the one who assaulted me, which makes me feel so dirty, cheap, weak, and ashamed of myself. My friends have genuine sweet men after them and I feel like I am seen as nothing but used up garbage. All I will ever know is violence and hurt :(
@niceFarm6311 you feel those things because thats how hes made u feel. You arent worthless at all. You are worth so much more than u feel ryt now and once u start feeling better u will see that. Ryt now u myt not feel things will get better but they will. Once u get there u will realise ur worth and that will make u feel so much happier. U know what kills them most?? Its to see u getting on with ur lyf and taking control of ur situation. U will get there. Just never give up. I believe in u :)
"Everytime we learn something new, or complete a task, we evolve into something more knowledgeable and better."
I like that.
This is going to sound really cyncial, and I don't mean to cause offense, but I struggle with the 'finding the good out of what happened' idea. I could point at some good things, like more compassion, good listener, lots of [nervous] energy sometimes, better equipped to deal with this in the future, &c. But ultimately, I would prefer to go without those qualities than to have experienced what happened. I'm worried that acknowledging good things makes me sound almost grateful for my trauma. I don't know how to balance the two: the trauma and any good that came after. Sorry for any negativity... I promise I'm working on it.
I've been much more on edge lately than I usually am. I am getting used to feeling this hyper anxious, and sometimes I'm not so sure that's a good thing. The past couple of months have been extra difficult with our finances and vehicle issues and new health issues &c &c. The extra stress really makes it harder for me to see clearly. My brain is numbing, but I am getting through each day a little easier. I'm still here, still trying in some way.
@wontsleepwontwake I used to feel lyk u do. I wasted years of my lyf wanting to change my past. I eventually realised I couldnt. Its easier sometimes to accept rather than keep wishing things had been different Its a sad reality but we cant change the past. It requires less energy to move forward sometimes and u feel instantly that u gain back control of ur lyf. Dont give that power to what u suffered anymore. Ur draining urslf of much needed energy. Energy that u need to make ur future better. I personally dont think u should apologise for being negative at times. Its come from ur experiences just as something good will too. Obviously it would be better for u to have not had those experiences but if u cant change them y not show them whos boss and create positivity from it. U win that way :)
@lightVillage54
@Raveninthelabrynth😘
I love this idea. For me ( though I may not admit this during times of horrid distress , lol) - all pain had purpose.
For me , a huge thing that keeps me going is Knowing that my pain is not pointless but because of this pain, I can help others that are in similar situations by lending a listening ear from a perspective of one who has been there. And if I find my way out - I can offer ideas out of this pain. It def makes me stronger, more compassionate, patience and loving - towards myself and towards others.
@blissedNblessed :) Hugs
Rock your World like a Super Star!
@Raveninthelabrynth
yassssssssssssssssssssssssss!
ok, I just totally realized we need a button that jumps us back to the top of the page lol
Can see the point of the pain having purpose but when this down and numb its too hard to see why.
Fallen apart after grandparents memorial today. Hating myself for not being there for my dad afterwards as hubby n i cudnt take bein around my cousins babies alot. Putting on the mask of being ok isnt working much any more. Hubby is bluntly honest about how he feels with everyone. I just cant do it.
Repeating mistakes and thought patterns from last crisis 16 years ago. Hoping at least if i can see it im not losing reality. I cant be in hospital again but getting to point it feels like everyone would be better off without me.
Hoping everyone holds on.
@inventiveOrange1 Hey hon, I'm sorry for your loss hugs.
Things may seem to be doomed and confussiong now, but your actually ahead of the game. You recognize the patterns of doom you went down before. Though you may be on those roads already, atleast you can see it to turn around, and probably much quicker this time. This may seem like nothing or merely a baby step, but this is actually the big and tough part. Keep mental notes, physical ones are even better as you can look at them again word for word.
I hope you find peace with the rest of your day.
another close to a long day. Thank you alle for stopping by. I hope you alle have wonder filled mornings, afternoons and nights.
see you again soon.
