Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Friday 19th October
Hello Trauma Community, it is me, CaringBrit. I prefer to go by Brit though. Today's topic I'm choosing to do was based from your responses from the last. It seemed as though many felt they did not deserve self care, so my topic is Self Love/Compassion/Awareness & Trauma.
Let's first begin with some resources to watch and articles to read.
Here is the Video to watch on Self Love. She's a writer. She had me in a wow moment - so powerful, her message. TRIGGER warning because their is mild cussing and some parts might not be helpful to you and that is ok. Acknowledge what you like from it HERE
Here is a list of Articles you can read to a various range from 30 self love things to do, Frozen feelings, I'm even going to link 50 self love writing prompts that you could do in your Journal privately or share here.
Articles
https://self-love-u.blogspot.com/2013/09/healing-frozen-feelings.html
https://www.whatiscodependency.com/selfesteem-selfacceptance-self-love-self-compassion/
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/30-ways-practice-self-love-and-good-yourself.html#
https://uncustomary.org/self-love-writing-prompts/
Parts to Focus
How to Thaw Frozen Feelings
1. Get to know your feeling self intimately.
2. Stay consciously aware of negative life patterns.
3. Give yourself space to be.
4. Express your repressed emotion.
5. Seek the root cause of the painful emotions.
6. Express the emotions.
7. Find supportive people to confide in.
8. Find the negative core belief tied to the repressed emotions.
I found these stood out the most. Some great tips towards Self love which in turn will allow you to believe you deserve Self Care. However, this is all easier than said than done, right? It is never easy to believe we deserve good after Trauma, but you do. I believe you do and we are here for you on here all of you.
However to Note here, any of these Articles or Videos shared with you, take at face value - only take what you find helpful. That's the most important bit as you know your needs and your wants. You know you better than anyone. Also I only used the bold parts for the numbered section if you want to read , what each number entails , the article is linked above.
Questions to answer
How are you all feeling today?
How did you find these articles ?
Iis there any part you find useful or interesting?
Who here Struggles with Self-Love?
What Small thing could you try to do at least once a day or something small once a week whatever is comfortable to you to increase Self Love to yourself?
If you just wish to check in with us that is fine too. Might do a second bit to this topic if it's needed.
Taglist
@InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007 @incompl @Raveninthelabrynth
How are you all feeling today? Sick and sad
How did you find these articles ? A lot to take in right
Iis there any part you find useful or interesting? Not at the moment
Who here Struggles with Self-Love? Me all of the time
What Small thing could you try to do at least once a day or something small once a week whatever is comfortable to you to increase Self Love to yourself?
Write one good thing about myself,
Today's, I'm a good writer.
@Rebekahwriter13 thats an awesome Start and it certainly is alot to take in,thats why it says read at own leisure you can process, tiny bits at a time.
aww sorry to hear you feel that way, im here for you, if you want hugs i can give a hug too.
Self love is a struggle for many thats for sure but tiny baby steps, is something so yayy on the im a good writer positive.
Proud of you for saying something positive
@CaringBrit hugs
@Rebekahwriter13 hugs would you like to talk about why you feel this way
@CaringBrit
I've been fighting depression and anxiety and ptsd
I thought I met someone special the other day, but he stopped writing to me
@Rebekahwriter13 i understand the fight against 2 of those Anxiety and Depression there awful and wow im sorry He just stopped like that
@CaringBrit
I wish I had some closure
@Rebekahwriter13 hope your able to get what you deserve in getting closure
@CaringBrit
Never did the jerk just ghosted me
@Rebekahwriter13 wow hugs if you want them you didnt deserve that at all
@CaringBrit
Hi Brit.
How are you all feeling today?
I don't know. Bad, but I'm not sure how else to define.
How did you find these articles ?
Reading and learning are things. I found them interesting.
Is there any part you find useful or interesting?
There were a few things in the fozen feelings article that I found interesting. It starts by saying the first thing is to know yourself. I don't know who I am. I'm not even sure I'm human sometimes.
Who here Struggles with Self-Love?
It is hard for me to envision self love. I hate myself.
What Small thing could you try to do at least once a day or something small once a week whatever is comfortable to you to increase Self Love to yourself?
I'm trying to write down 5 good or positive things I do each day. It's hard and the list is often reaching for answers.
@practicalIdeal2007
I don't know. Bad, but I'm not sure how else to define.
That is fine if your not sure how else to define , you made a start , so you feel bad why is this it is ok if you still cant
Reading and learning are things. I found them interesting.
Good to hear you found them interesting
There were a few things in the fozen feelings article that I found interesting. It starts by saying the first thing is to know yourself. I don't know who I am. I'm not even sure I'm human sometimes.
That is interesting , isn't it to find before we can Self Love to unfreeze , these feelings we need to know ourselves, if we dont then it could be the huge cause for self hate do you agree?
It is hard for me to envision self love. I hate myself.
Im very sure you are not alone in this feeling. Do you think the articles could possibly help you, move towards learning, who you are? Of course when ready.
I'm trying to write down 5 good or positive things I do each day. It's hard and the list is often reaching for answers.
Thats Awesome you are at least , trying to get 5 but as you mentioned , often reaching so if you feel 5 is too much though, why not 1 per day instead of 5 each day ,what do you think? then build it as you get more and more positives to add
@CaringBrit
I apologize I didn't respond sooner. I was at work and there wasn't time today for a break. I was selected for the "random" drug test today, there is really nothing random about it. I might have passed or I might have failed. Possbily have a lot of free time soon.
I feel bad because my thoughts are out of control. I'm constantly fighting myself. Trying to reason with myself. Convince myself that something is a bad idea. I rarely win.
I don't know how to figure out who I am. I thought I knew. My world fell apart again and I realized I'm not who I thought I was. I don't know what I like or what kind of person I am. I think I need to become a person who just doesn't say no anymore. It would probably hurt less that way.
@CaringBrit
I was told by a therapist that my thoughts would never go away. I just can't comprehend that. Why is she saying that to me? I feel like just giving up, shutting down and running away since I have no idea on what to do anymore other than those thoughts going through my head.
@Havingfuninthesnow
I don't know why she said that to you or what exactly your thoughts are though they are presumably negative. I think maybe though she is preparing you for the reality that there are no magic solutions and so while the thoughts may not go away, we can learn to cope with them and push them aside with counterthoughts.
I am sorry she made you feel like giving up :( That is not a fun feeling and can make it more difficult to cope and move forward
@incompl
I just don't know who to believe any more when anyone says anything. I guess I don't know how to cope anymore and just been crying. Maybe I should just give up since trust is a big deal and I can't trust anyone.
@Havingfuninthesnow do you mean bad thoughts wont those arent easy but everyone gets thoughts
@CaringBrit
But some of my thoughts are bad thoughts of folks not caring and now I have no idea what to do when 2 MD's and a therapist tell me to go to the ER due to my pain and get scans and the ER refuses to help at all. I am scared to call 911 now since they would just bring me to that stupid hospital that can't help me. Have no idea where to turn or where to go for help anymore. My other bad thoughts are of the abortion and things like that and the thoughts are constent and won't go away. I am also worried about what is going to happen to my son after graduation in the summer and if I should leave my husband or not. I have so many thoughts in my head I can't control them anymore.
@CaringBrit
im feeling depressed enough to just want to hide all my pain away and just sleep... i didnt feel like even getting up. i feel so depressed.... i spent yesterday painting my broken heart and crying. a song came on the radio. It was a song my mom used to sing me when i was young. i just listened to the song and the lyrics. I cried when i got home. i just was upset because i want to know why my mother never so called "loved me" she said she did but never really showed it. I just dont know if it was because of me or her. yes its probably her. but im almost an adult now and she has only been in my life maybe alltogether a year or less. then i have my step mom. i cant even forgive her. she has hurt me so much. my dad says well look what you put her through all these years but have you heard or saw what she put me through. way more than those 3 years. it was because i was struggling pretty similar to right now. i was just overdosing almost daily and hurting myself more than 15 times a day. nobody realizes how she hurt me telling me all these years since i was 10 that she doesnt blame my mom for leaving me she would if she could. all the way up till 13 saying kill yourself and so i gave in and did it because who needed me.... i feel the same way now. but when you burn the resources away at 14. you dont have it even if i needed it.yes i have my therapist. but it isnt how it seems i contemplate these thoughts in my head so much but i cant do it because i am supposed to have a good future and if i attempt or cut itll ruin my chances of getting out of this hell hole i live in....
@Hope7879 what your step mum said was very wrong your still going through so much right now hope
hugs if you want them
@CaringBrit
Hugs
@CaringBrit hi
@crimsonLime6525
hi
@crimsonLime6525 heyy lime how are you today
@CaringBrit just doing what I need to in order to get through this rough time. Trying not to isolate too much
@crimsonLime6525 your doing good popping up in these check ins lime im proud of you
@CaringBrit thanks, will hopefully find the courage to speak soon. It
@crimsonLime6525 I understand lime and no rush
Did you watch the video or read Articles
@CaringBrit managed to read a couple of the articles about self-love. Not something Im good at doing as kinda hate myself at the minute
@crimsonLime6525 Self love is extremly hard to do
Your not alone
How did you find the info in them
@CaringBrit there was a lot of information in there to take in, a lot of me at the minute feels like I am not worthy of anything and that I should be punished. I make myself suffer as thats what I deserve.
@crimsonLime6525 my next check in will most likely be a reflection on the topic since it was alot and you are very worthy of self love lime very proud of you for sharing something babysteps
That video was so powerful. I didn't get the water vibration stuff really but the message was so so clear. And it really spoke to me on alot of levels. I loved her saying that you need to trust people with their own lives, that you trying to force help is to say you dont trust them which causes the exact problem you wanted to avoid
Also asking yourself what someone who loves you would do. Wow I mean it's simple but powerful. I am about to go on a family holiday I am terrified of, and I know am too scared to say no right now. But hopefully in the future I can start doing it more.
It was simple but really spoke to me. Alot of the times I've.got stuck I've know it's not good for me. And.yeh. okay going to go away and process but thank you for that. :)
@Lilibuth12 exactly why i used that video it is indeed a powerful message for sure im super glad it spoke to you on many levels
take as much time as you need in order to process everything
your welcome 
Hello Brit.
I am just coming back to the community and an touching on a few things I have been working through some of the trauma I have experienced in my life from domestic violence issues and sexual assault and racism. Waiting for physchologist training and counseling
@philosophicalShip9444 - Welcome back - I'm glad to see you here and I hope that this community is helpful in continuing to heal <3
@philosophicalShip9444 wb Ship good to see you again