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Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Friday 25th August 2017

User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers August 25th, 2017

Good Morning Everyone, I'm so happy you're here. I thought today wed focus on rejection and emotional pain. Heavy subject matter. Personally I struggle with my emotional pain. When I feel the pain I'm unable to function. So What are our options?

Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure and Rejection recently shared an interesting tip on rejection. Guy Winch says Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which is one reason why it hurts so much. The feeling of rejection toys with your innate need to belong, and is so distressing that it interferes with your ability to think, recall memories and make decisions. The sooner you let go of painful rejections, the better off your mental health will be.

But how can we let go? Let's look into the theory of Radical Acceptance. The meaning of Radical Acceptance described by Hall, Karyn PH D. In the article Pieces of Mind. Psychology Today. Su July 8 2012. she recalls, Radical Acceptance is about accepting of life on lifes terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. Radical Acceptance is about saying yes to life, just as it is. Suffering is what you do with that pain and the interpretation you put on the pain. Suffering is optional; pain is not. Its difficult to accept what you dont want to be true. And its more difficult to not accept. Not accepting pain brings suffering.Avoidance of emotions often leads to depression and anxiety. Avoidance can also lead to destructive behaviors such as gambling, drinking too much, overspending, eating too little or too much, and overworking. These behaviors may help avoid pain in the short run but they only make the situation worse in the long run. By having Acceptance means you can turn your resistant, ruminating thoughts into accepting thoughts like, Im in this situation. I dont approve of it. I dont think its OK, but it is what it is and I cant change that it happened. Acceptance allows you to heal by sitting in the pain and resisting you for long the hurt.

Remember this is a safe place for you to share your thoughts and to seek support from each other.

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User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 August 25th, 2017

@Softwhispers

Hi..

10 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP August 25th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337 hey

User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337 are you struggling with anything you'd like to talk about? I'm here to listen.

8 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 August 25th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

I do yes..

7 replies
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337 what are you struggling with? <3

6 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 August 25th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

with many stuff..

5 replies
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 26th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337 how can I help you best?

4 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 August 26th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

you can't.. no one can

3 replies
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 26th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337 would you like to pm me??

2 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 August 26th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

i don't want to bother you

1 reply
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 26th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337 oh it would be nice to talk to you :)

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User Profile: inventiveOrange1
inventiveOrange1 August 25th, 2017

@Softwhispers avoiding, avoiding because its safer right now. stress at work and family. sh is th only thing allowing work to happen. sick with anxiety today but on late discharges shift. no time to be nice to me.

6 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP August 25th, 2017

@inventiveOrange1 One thing is if work is filling you with anxiety try like taking a mental health day every now and again abd just take a nice hot bath and just relax and take care of yourself

User Profile: melliotm
melliotm August 25th, 2017

@inventiveOrange1 Big hugs, Orange -- I'm sorry you're stuck working late while feeling like this x

3 replies
User Profile: inventiveOrange1
inventiveOrange1 August 25th, 2017

@melliotm hugs mell. Made it through 12 hour shift. Just hope i havent made any errors for patients 😕 can collapse now. My uncle also survived his op and back on icu. Hoping to visit his hosp tomorrow. How is your day going?

2 replies
User Profile: melliotm
melliotm August 25th, 2017

@inventiveOrange1 Oh I'm so glad to hear about your uncle. Apart from a series of nightmares disrupting my night and having to leave the fort this morning for a doctor's appointment, my day has been...ok. I'm tired and foggy, but trying to be compassionate and not avoid feeling the uncomfortable feels that drove some of last night's sleeplessness.

1 reply
User Profile: inventiveOrange1
inventiveOrange1 August 25th, 2017

@melliotm aww nightmares suck 🙁. All the best for the docs appointment. Im beyond tired but as usual cant sleep. Least no work today. Hugs

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User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@inventiveOrange1 I hope things are getting better for you. Hugs

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User Profile: Zombii
Zombii August 25th, 2017

@Softwhispers

Hey. I had a hard night. I have done self-harm again last night. And I'm really not proud about it... But it's okay. Nothing goes away so easily, still have to keep working, tho I'm pretty tired right now. I got paranoid again. But I'm okay... it's raining outside, it helps to keep my mind calmer. And I know I can count on some person, now :)

7 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP August 25th, 2017

@Zombii sorry to hear you had such a rough night but just remember a relapse shows that your on the road to recovery

4 replies
User Profile: Zombii
Zombii August 25th, 2017

@Softwhispers

Right <3 I try to keep that in mind :)

3 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP August 25th, 2017

@Zombii a tip for when you feel you want to relapse do anything else even make up work if you have none it's what I do :)

2 replies
User Profile: Zombii
Zombii August 25th, 2017

@Softwhispers

That's a good tip, thank you <3

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User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@Zombii I'm glade you can see that self arming is not safe. But you recognize this and realize that with time you can take baby steps to get better. Nothing just happens overnight. :) Changing takes time. <3 You can do it!!!

1 reply
User Profile: Zombii
Zombii August 25th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

Aww thanks <3

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User Profile: conscientiousPineapple1782
conscientiousPineapple1782 August 25th, 2017

@Softwhispers

I thought this post was for yesterday. I found myself in post... I overehelmed myself sometimes and worry to much..

8 replies
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@conscientiousPineapple1782 Nope this post was for today. :)

User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@conscientiousPineapple1782 I'm sorry your overwhelmed. Whats making you feel like this?

6 replies
User Profile: conscientiousPineapple1782
conscientiousPineapple1782 August 25th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

Idk bcs didn't acept complitly what happened... Althought lately feel better seams. At night feel anxious.

5 replies
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@conscientiousPineapple1782 How do you cope with your anxiousness? What works best for you?

4 replies
User Profile: conscientiousPineapple1782
conscientiousPineapple1782 August 25th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

Not best soluction sometimes alcohol a bit.

Weel mostly at night feel anxious.. Try to relax and some metods...

3 replies
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@conscientiousPineapple1782 we definitely all have ways we cope that aren't as helpful. It can feel like the alcohol helps in the moment. But it masks over the problem which only will have to be solved at some point. What are some positive ways you could distract yourself from these anxious feelings?

2 replies
User Profile: conscientiousPineapple1782
conscientiousPineapple1782 August 25th, 2017

@SoftForestHSP77

Teeling myself I am safe even if don't feel that way like. Trying to calm myself. Talk about what bothers me. Going to bed earlier and try not to overthink.

1 reply
User Profile: SoftForestHSP77
SoftForestHSP77 August 25th, 2017

@conscientiousPineapple1782 You have a bunch of great ways to help yourself cope. Maybe make a list of them on your phone and when your struggling take a look at them. List as many ways as you can. At times certain coping strategies help more then others. So be prepared with as many as you can think of!

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User Profile: Rebekahwriter13
Rebekahwriter13 August 25th, 2017

I met a new guy, and I really like him. I'm just afraid I'll say the wrong thing, and he'll run away. I guess the newness of a relationship can traumatic and full of anxiety. I'm trying to be excited, but I'm so worried.

1 reply
User Profile: rozie
rozie August 26th, 2017

@Rebekahwriter13

That sounds so nice for you! Its pretty normal to feel excited but also a little worried. Just try to take it one step at a time. If you're feeling nervous or unsure about what to say, suggest you ask him about himself, and then be a good listener. nothing like being listened to. Hoping it goes well. x

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User Profile: conscientiousPineapple1782
conscientiousPineapple1782 December 14th, 2017

@Softwhispers

I wonder should always take safe road... I wish to spread my wings but everyone just loves to hide behind mask....How to know what's right?!

User Profile: conscientiousPineapple1782
conscientiousPineapple1782 December 14th, 2017

@Softwhispers

oh wrong post egain