Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Monday 13th of November 2017
Happy Monday, everyone!
I am back from vacation at least for 7cups and will be travelling home next weekend. Lots of people hate Mondays, but I don't. I love new beginnings. I'm a sucker for starting things and then struggling to finish them. Mondays are when my slate is clean for the week and I'm ready to tackle the goals I've made. I personally have daily, weekly, and monthly goals. I don't design my goals in a checklist format, but rather kind of like a videogame, they "level up". Videogames have shown to be very good at keeping you going despite things feeling like a grind, so I've found that "just one more level" can really encourage me to keep going when it's difficult.
At the end of my day I let the unfinished things go. At the end of my week,I let the unfinished things go. At the end of the month, same thing. Each day is a reshuffle because day to day priorities can change. I try my best not to get hung up on the things I couldn't finish before, and make sure that if I put them on the list again they aren't going to overwhelm me. If I know a task will be harder, I'll give myself less tasks overall. I guess that makes it a weighted system?
Planning helps me get through my days. Having structure, but with flexibility, just puts my mind at such ease. And not having a checklist keps my stress over rigid planning minimal. My system is always changing, and I have to remember to let things go, and not be hard on myself if I predicted I could do more than the reality showed. I also give myself one entire day OFF of plans per week, and try to give myself at least 1-2 hours down time per day. My system has taken a solid 7 years to develop and works for me.
Do you guys make goals? Do you find they help or rather stress you out instead? Do you feel like you could change your goal system to be less stressful and more effective? I'd love to hear your ideas about goals if you have them :)
Otherwise, how are you doing today? I'd love to hear from you!!
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I added the new names to the list, fixed some typos, and removed duplicates :) Welcome Saif, Honey, Purple, Butters, and Silver to the check ins!
@Hoxenos Hi!!! Your approach is very commending. I am doing good after couple of months of bad patch. And I think participating in the check-ins here in trauma community is very therapeutic. I am checking in for one weeks in a row. and It feels good.
@butters45 That's a real accomplishment. Make sure to be proud and give yourself credit for what you put into checking in! You're a rockstar ^^
@Hoxenos Checking in, since it's been a few days and I don't want to withdraw too much (as I tend to do when certain challenging feelings become especially assertive). Been doing what I can to manage during a difficult point in my journey. The conscious effort required to maintain stability and accomplish the most basic tasks still requires so much mental and physical effort.
This time of year adds to the fatigue (tis the season).
Had strange dreams last night, but not really what I'd call nightmares. Fitful sleep regardless, which has been the norm recently -- my subconscious is trying to compensate for things that I can't fully process right now. But I'm managing as best I can. Did some guided meditations to start the day off and calm the racing thoughts running through my head and bolster my nervous system, which has been helping (my mindfulness routine had settled into a bedtime ritual over the last few months).
Have a family doctor's appointment this afternoon, but trying not to get hung up on that. I have prep time to give myself some self care, and plan to do so again after I get back. Extra self compassion and kindness is required when I'm feeling extra strained like this.
Cheers to all. ⛺❤️
@melliotm Hi there, Mel!
I'm so glad that you checked in. I'm proud of you for overcoming the challenge and obstacle of reaching out. I love that you're planning self care both before and after difficult tasks as I often have to do the same thing. I'm sorry to hear about your troubled sleep, but hopefully that ritual you've been working on is helping in some way and will continue to improve the odds of good sleep?
I know the feeling about the season being especially... unfun. I'm coming up to that time myself and am glad to be part of this community for when it does happen.
I hope your appointment goes ok, and your self care helps you bounce back quicker :)
@melliotm
Good for you on the self care on such a stressing moment. Best of luck at the doctor's!
@PenguinsCrossing Thanks! ⛺❤️
@melliotm planning in the time for self care around the moments you know will be hard 👏 Takes a while for lots of people to learn to practise compassion towards ones self like this but definitely what we all need. Learning to treat ourselves with the same compassion we would show others. Hope your day goes well!
@melliotm
Hi Mellio,
I have been thinking of you. It sounds like you are using so many wonderful things to keep yourself going during this difficult time. I love that you are using meditation and the way you are purposefully calming yourself before sleeping is amazing. It is a great idea. You have inspired me to be more present and consistent during my routine.
Thank you for checking in today. It is always nice to hear from you and know if there is anything we can do to make your day a little brighter. ⛺️🍪💛
I'm new to this subcommunity but it already seems so supportive and calming 
And for my check in, I'm managing and doing alright :)
@katiaclaire I'm super glad to hear that. Welcome and I hope you get everything you want from the subcommunity :)
@katiaclaire
Yay!! Welcome to the community and I'm glad you're well
Good morning everyone! Im feeling ready to take on a new week ... its going to be a busy one with lots of difficult things going on so Ive made sure to schedule in lots of self care into my planner alongside my appointments as my brain shuts down when Im overwhelmed. This seems to help keep me from the alternative of just withdrawing to my bedroom and doing nothing in those times - when I make it so that I dont have to gather my thoughts farther than looking in my planner to see what comes next.
Im meeting with a new Psychologist tomorrow, as my insurance company didnt like the treatment plan recommended by mine (was not timely enough for them) so theyre sending me to someone new. This feels super counterproductive to me and Im hesitant about having to establish trust with someone new.
Ive also been dealing with panic attacks and high anxiety the last couple weeks which is new for me and Im having trouble figuring out if its due to meds or just part of my therapy process and a new place Im at currently with cracking a bit of my shell, lessening dissociation and bringing out feelings Im not accustomed to. Has anyone else had this experience when doing trauma therapy?I have PTSD with dissociative symptoms, and have been working really hard on recognizing and getting more in touch with feelings. Sort of a catch 22....
@purpleWest8143 sorry, GAD also. Im thinking the dissociative symptoms were actually probably covering up a much higher level of anxiety than I ever knew i had though? Like the anxiety had reached such a high level in my body for so long stuff just started shutting down , hence the dissociation. So, if the dissociation is lessening now, it would make sense for me to be working backwards through symptoms?
@purpleWest8143 Hi West! Welcome to the check ins. Things for me definitely got a bit "worse" before they got better. I think for me it felt like a sensitivity thing. I was bringing up such hard things from the past once a week and it just made the rest of the week... not necessarily bad but like I was more sensitive to triggers, so my anxiety was a lot higher. I've also had other people talk about learning how to feel again, and unfortunately that means feeling the negatives again as well. I think you are in good company in this community of knowing the process you're currently feeling and I hope the knowledge that we are feeling with you could help in some way :)
As for planning and goals, it looks like we have pretty similar strategies! It sounds like you're really good at listening to your needs and being introspective and that's an amazing skill to have :) Great job at checking in and asking yourself tough questions today!!
@Hoxenos @Wizakre Thank you! Yes, I knew this journey of therapy was going to be an intense and difficult one making things feel much worse in some ways before they get better. I am getting much better at recognizing triggers, the resulting feeling /emotion, learning to unpack my thoughts, speak up / set boundaries where needed as well as noticing when I start to check out per say, and can catch myself before it gets significant now.
It is super helpful to have you guys to check in with on these ideas as well as knowing Im not the only one who feels like this 😩. I do feel hypervigilant and my system feels so easily hyperaroused it takes a very long time to come down. i know it will get better And there are already some triggers that I have been able to overcome by recognizing and addressing. Right now, Im hopeful that this pattern will continue and then i can get into the REALLY difficult part of therapy. 😉
@purpleWest8143 I'm so happy that you can see visible improvement. Sometimes the hardest part of healing is when you feel stuck because you can't see the improvements you're making and you get down on yourself. I think it's so great that you're identifying your improvements. Remember to be proud of yourself because you're working SO HARD from the sounds of it. You'll get where you want to go :)
@Hoxenos for sure. I can see how easily people can begin to feel stuck as I have definitely felt really awful but Ive been able to stay in the frame of mind that this is part of my journey and not look at it as being a defeated place. It does feel depressing somewhat, but i keep telling myself that it is a natural part of the process. i need to be embracing whatever comes up and taking the time and space to process it and understand it. For now, Im thankful that Im off work and have the time and ability to do this. This also means that Im determined to get as far as I can while Im off as I want to be able to return to my profession as a Psych Nurse where I work in a highly triggering environment.
@Hoxenos Hi Hoxenos!!! Nice check-in. I am doing good. Hope you are fine too.
@Saif1for1Resilience Thanks so much and I'm glad to hear you're doing well! I'm still visiting my long distance partner so for the next week I'll be good at least haha and then I'll have separation anxiety again :(
@Hoxenos Huh! Tough Life!
@Hoxenos
Hi Hox! You must be the 1% in liking Mondays! Wb from vacation and I'm glad you're so positive ^^
@PenguinsCrossing Thanks so much, Penguin!! Yeah I'm weird because I like beginnings so that means, Mondays and mornings! It's when I feel the most productive and the happiest, unless I slept terribly >.<
How are you doing today?
I
@Shealwayssmiles Hi Smiles,
Would you like to talk about why?
hello everyone
glad to be here. My day has been dull and empty. This is the first time in my life that I have walked around in my pj's all day.
In answer to the question of goal making: When I had a little business going I use to set up goals for short term and long term. In my private life I suck at goal makeing and goal keeping. I always seem to get side tracked then That flustrated me so I quit.
@scarletPear1945 I
@Brooke12
Thanks for the reminder
@scarletPear1945 of course
@scarletPear1945
Hi,
Isnt it amazing how much more difficult it is to do things just for ourselves sometimes? I am sorry that you had a tough day. It seems like my personal goals tend to fall by the wayside at times especially when the little things pile up. I hope that you give yourself a little time and patience. Self-compassion is so important and you are doing your very best. We are always here for you. You dont have to walk this path alone. Many hugs ✨
@scarletPear1945
Hi there, Pear!
I hope the PJ day helped in some way, though? It can really calm me down, not having to worry about making an outfit or being uncomfortable. Why do you think there is such a big difference for you between business goals and personal goals? Does there feel like there's more on the line for business? Or perhaps personal goals don't end up feeling important for some reason so they get sidetracked?
I feel like that difference is something valuable to explore, and I hope today is feeling a bit better for you :)
Hi everyone,
I try to plan ahead as much as possible, but have recently learned the art of being flexible when situations arise unexpectedly. I have always had a difficult time forgiving myself and viewed it as a failure when I miss the mark. After watching my Dad go through an unanticipated illness successfully, my views and priorities are slowly changing. I try to plan ahead for the known absolutes to ensure they are completed, the yellow group is next and they are generally achievable, the green level represents stretch goals. I motivate myself to accomplish at least one or two so they wont level up. The bottom line is that I dont like to feel as though I have let anyone down. The most amazing thing is how many people rallied around me when we received the news about Dad. They wanted to help as that was their way of being supportive. I am getting better about accepting kindness and asking for help. It truly helped to realize that others were benefiting in the same way I do when I feel like I can make a small difference in someones life. A valuable change in perspective indeed. Have a good evening everyone
@Compassionatelistener108 That's a really lovely story, Listener. realizing that other people want to and like to help can be such a big leap sometimes. I find that in recovery, so often this is difficult because we tend to feel like a "burden" on people, even when that is simply not true, but we value ourselves so low, why would anyone want to help us? I think it's great that you can see that you are just as worthy of help as every other person out there :)
I have also had to adopt flexibility in my planning lately. I make up sketches of plans I want to do that week and every day I kind of pick which things from the list I feel up to that day. I found that when I was too rigid, it was much too stressful for me.
@Hoxenos
Thank you for your kind words. Asking for help and fear of disappointing others is an ongoing struggle for me. I am working on it though. Awareness is half the battle, right? (: