Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Monday, 1 January 2018

Hi everyone! Happy new year!! The first thing I think of when I think of New Years is that whole resolution business. I've never liked resolutions because I tend to have short and long term goals that are always in place. I am always trying to improve but a year span doesn't always fit into my plans. For those of you who do like resolutions, or want to set goals, I decided to make a little goal setting guide for you guys and perhaps you'll find something in it that helps with your own goal setting :)

I'm going to start with the classic SMART goals. Some of you have had bad experiences, others have had good ones with goal setting. Try your best to open you mind to the possibility of goals. They are not here to make you feel bad about not achieving things, they are here to help you focus your energy and prioritize what you want for yourself out of life. Make goals for yorself, not others. Make them matter to you. Here we go!

I don't know if this picture is going to post properly, if not I'll repost a better one below. Let's go through an example. I'll use the classic: "I want to get in shape this year." Many people fall into the trap of this goal because it's easy to make but... how do you really accomplish it? Let's fix this goal so it meets the SMART outlines.

Specific: I want to be able to go up the stairs without panting. I want to fit into a size 4. I want to run a marathon. I want to build muscle in my legs, arms, and torso. These are more specific goals that are more achievable because you can apply the other parts to it.

Measurable: How do you tell when you've "gotten fit"? A lot of people use weight as a number, but remember that weight is a bit of a trick as muscle is actually heavier than fat. Body builders are technically "obese". Keep in mind, also, that it takes three weeks on average for your body to register changes in eating/ exercising so normally it takes three weeks to start losing weight. Another measurable one is the amount of exercising you're doing, or the number of calories you're taking in. Having an end goal for each of these to work to. The marathon length or the barbell weight with however many reps. Weight is just a number, but running 5 miles is impressive no matter what shape you outwardly show. Remember it is possible to be healthy and happy with your body and LOOK "fat". And that confidence can really distort your looks, so measuring it by "I feel good or look good" can be tricky. Try to stick with things that are measurable by everyone.

Attainable: Ah my favourite part. This one people reeeeeally tend to fall into traps. Getting fit is most certainly attainable. Being a size 0 isn't for everyone. Find out what is actually possible for your body. Don't expect to wake up one morning and find a new body. What I do for my own attainable goals is set stria of goals. Have different stages you're working towards. You may never get to the last one, because maybe it isn't possible, and that's not your fault. This part in my opinion is the main one that causes goals to be not met, but not only that, it causes people to give up on goals completely. You're not going to become an astronaut next year unless you're already in astronaut school. If you're really passionate about something that feels impossible, then break it down into smaller pieces, because maybe it is possible, but you may need several years to accomplish it, and that's ok.

Relevant: To be "in shape" do you need to be a body builder? Is it relevant to your life to be 100% health nut? Is it good for the other parts of your life to do this? Being in shape in this day and age is mostly about making sure we're working off our sedentary lifestyle. We humans were means to walk for hours a day and do a lot of manual labour, so sitting all day causes health problems. If your life has a lot going on and you're already active enough, then is this goal (although very popular) meaningful for your life? Do you need it? Will it help you? Will it help towards another goal? Are you only doing this goal because other people do it or recommend it? Is it something you care about? This one is more of a checkbox, but an important one. Every now and then, check in on your long term goals to see if it's still something you even want, or if it's just taking your time and energy with no gain.

Timely: "I want to get fit" ok but how long does that take? After you have your measurements, time is easier. It's not just "I want to run a marathon" it's "I want to run a marathon by October". Setting specific timing for your goals is very necessary both to see progress and to maintain focus. School and work have deadlines because if we didn't, we probably wouldn't be able to prioritize our time properly and force ourselves to do the tasks we aren't the keenest on. Listen to your body for the Timely part. Keep it attainable. You can't run a marathon in a month, but you certainly can work towards that in a year, or two years if you are a busy bee.

Now, how to pick a goal. I personally prefer having daily, weekly, monthly, and long term goals. I like feeling that every month I have done something to work towards my long term goals. I split my goals into different types. Health/hygiene, career related, learning, and for fun. Sometimes these can bleed into each other and that's ok. "Do yoga twice a week, at least 40 minutes total", "finish one web development project per month" "stream 4 times a week (wed-sat)" "shower AT LEAST twice a week" "meet duolingo daily goal at least 3 times a week"

The end goals for these are things like "feel comfortable doing yoga and be my comfortable size (around 130)", "become a web developer with a portfolio", "learn spanish", and my mental health and hygiene goals are normally long term "be functional and happy". This is not really measurable but I can tell what will make me more happy. I love learning new things and pushing myself, I HATE ending things, so sometimes when a goal is nearing its end I have to modify it so it keeps going. This is how I modify SMART goals to work with my personality. It doesn't have to be rigid. Listen to yourself, your needs, work with who you are. You don't need to work for it, it works for you. This is just one of many goal setting techniques that can help if you're feeling lost. Remember, goal setting isn't about feeling bad about where you are, it's about wanting to work on yourself for a reason that is important to you. You can be a master pianist and still have goals to continue piano techniques, or new songs. If you're goal is making you feel bad about something, I highlty recommend at the very least, revising the goal, and potentially throwing it away completely. Goals are to help us feel good, not bad.

So yet again, Happy New Year!! What are you excited for this year? Have you set some goals? I'd love to hear from you :)

To add or remove your name from daily check-ins click here

@Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raycascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @chayil @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @22charms @blissedNblessed @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Waterlily16 @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @ScarletPear1945 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @Myosotis17 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @FrankieDylan