Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday 13th of October, 2018
Happy Saturday to you all! You have made it through a whole week again since we have talked and I am just so proud of you and I am just really looking forward hearing from you now! 
How are you feeling? :)
How has this week been for you? Is there anything on your mind you would like to share?
I would be glad to listen! ^-^
Two weeks ago I have actually had a short but really interesting converstaion here with one of you and it really made me think. I mean, this will be a bit of a more personal and subjective thing for this week from me, but I would like to share it with you and hear your opinion and just learn more from you once again. :)
The topic simply was wanting to be normal and, as a follow up, what normal actually is. Now, I know this is a really hard topic and that I will not be able to make justice to it but I will just share my opinion with you. :)
Being normal means conforming to a standard and that standard is usually set by our surroundings, the tricky part is, however, that people around us usually show their better selves and so what we see and what we draw these standards from are usually just not true. Especially with all that you have been through it can be really hard because when you are feeling down you tend to try to compare your worst with others' best, whcih, obiously, will not end up you seeing your true potential and awesomeness, because
...and I just love this picture :P
You all are uniquely amazing! I know it may be hard to see or even to believe after reading this but it is okay to be said, vulnarable or just feel "broken" even though you will see happy people around you mostly, because that is what they show. Even me, with all my anxieties, being tired and depressed a bit but you may think I am just being so happy and positive all the time which sometimes is actually just a show, a mask.
I mean, it is totally okay to wear masks as it can be much easier at times and I am not saying it is wrong I just want you to know that you are totally normal not being normal in your own unique and amazing ways and I do mean that I am truly glad to meet all of you and hear from all of you different, unique people every week!
*boops* @InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007 @incompl
If you would like to be added or removed to this list feel free to reach out to me or @Kate at any time or just tell it to us here! :)
@redmark
Hi again 👋 hope you don't mind me showing up again.
For me I don't think being normal necessarily means being happy although I guess it is a huge part. I know people struggle with the same things that I do all the time but I guess their ability to return to a more centered and self-assured state is much better. Maybe I just think they have the same struggles so I can feel like it's normal I don't know. Even then I still feel different.
To me, normalcy means that everything just seems to come easier. To me, normalcy is...
...Being able to focus on simple tasks way consistently and continuously as well as not constantly having to push down really morbid thoughts and memories.
...Being able to just do things without worrying about every little detail that might end up culminating into disasters like before.
...Being able to find humor and be lighthearted/insensitive about things that people struggle tremendously with on a daily basis.
...Being able to figure out and stick to solutions so easily and accomplish all that they believe they can ever do without second guessing because having to spend months and years finding a rationale that only leads to despair in order to explain something very irrational was not something those that feel normal had to ever do.
Sorry for being so negative but it seems to be my baseline now. Happy Saturday everyone.
Hey there @humorousBeing8966 *offering safe hugs*
Don't be silly, you are always welcome here and I would always be glad to hear from you and so am I now!
Happiness....is an interesting thing. I think one person I have known here told me sometimes that there is this illusion that you do always have to be happy and so you want to be happy and you just see sadness and as a bad thing. Life is complex and just as it supposed to have happy moments it also meant to have sad moment, anxious moments and all that and you are nothing less for experiencing those, no matter what kind of a "propaganda" you are bombarded with about being happy all the time :)
You have made some really ineteresting and amazing points there tho and I am really glad that you have shared them with me!
Living with memories like that and the feelings and thoughts they induce is certainly hard and I have to say unfair and I am so terribly sorry you have to deal with them. On the other hand, that just makes you even more awesome on my eyes you know. You are having so many things on your mind all the time but you are still here trying your best to keep focused on recovery and doing such an amazing job in spite everything! :)
It may not be "normal" but it is pretty amazing for sure! ^-^
With my anxiety I can a little bit, I think, understand that and I know it is really hard for me so I can imagine how hard it may be for you to go for perfection always but I just want you to know that you are always welcome to share whatever is on your mind here and this is a safe place, there is no perfection or anything needed here, we just want you to be here with us, :)
No pressure of course, only if and when you feel ready ^-^
I am not that good with jokes and humour either, but I can like smile and chuckle about cute things for hours on end if that counts :P
I think that is one of the illusion again coming from all that you can see and hear. There may be one or two people in this planet who can go without second guessing what they do but I do not think that is normal. In fact, most of us experiences a certain degree of anxiety and worries and I think for a certain, small degree it is actually healthy too. I mean, being on the other end of this spectrum and taking such long time about finding solutions and finding it so hard to stick to them once again can be really hard, however, I want you to know that you are definitely not alone second guessing yourself often. :)
You should never ever be sorry for sharing your thoughts and for the way you feel. You are always welcome to share them and you have really made some interesting point and I am glad that you did and I hope I will hear more from you like this in the future! :)
Stay awesome!
Thanks for your kindness @redmark
You already know how to pick people up when they don't feel at their best.
I guess things just haven't gone away because it feels like the moment I get comfortable things will get really sour.
@humorousBeing8966 I am glad to hear that I may have helped you a bit :)
It can be overwhelming, I know. The waves just keep on coming and washing over you trying to catch your breath but it is possible. I mean, you are still here you are already doing it and I am not saying it is easy but you are just doing such an amazing job and I believe in that with help and support you can get out of this storm and the waves can get more managable.
I mean, if nothing else, I will be always here with some positivity and support for you :)
...and virtual hugs, depending on you. ^-^
@humorousBeing8966 heyyy being good to see you
Hey @CaringBrit , thanks for being here
@humorousBeing8966 yw
@redmark awesome topic
Hey there @CaringBrit *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to hear from you around here!
Thank you, I am glad you like it! Also...I am having a week off from work so now, if there will be any, I will definitely make it my goal to catch you on air! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark lol im on next monday deciding my time though so if theirs a time youd prefer
you missed my check in yesterday too
how are you doing
@CaringBrit I do not really post into check-ins myself. I mean, I guess it is a mix of lack of free time on my own end and just "not wanting to bother others" with my "stupid" things and problems.
As I have said, I am free the whole week, including the whole Monday so I will make sure to catch it whichever time it will be. :)
I am doing....well, mostly okay, I am just tired but I am going into a week of recharging, so it is okay for now, I think ^-^
Thank you very much for asking!
@redmark recharging sounds awesome
@redmark. ***trigger warning just in case!!! can't be too careful***
Hey, I just joined today and let me tell you, it's been a bit rough. I was ok nearly all day today but I always get really vivid flashbacks and "ghost pains" from the abortion I had a few weeks ago and it's happening again. It's times like this when I feel like I really need somebody to tell me I made the right decision but the few people I've told (except my boyfriend) has been harassing me about it, especially my housemates. Today there was a cute little event in my college town we were supposed to go to together and I've been avoiding them because of the really nasty messages they've sent me (to the point where I am not living in the house anymore even though I still pay for the room. If it weren't for my BF, I'd be homeless). Well, I saw them and they just sent me really nasty looks and for some reason it triggered the flash backs and the pain. My boyfriend is at work and I really want him to be home. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.
@maryelizzy welcome to 7cups and Trauma Subcome
im sorry they are being nasty you dont deserve that at all no one does . hugs if you want them
Hey there @maryelizzy *offering safe hugs*
Welcome here! We are really glad to have you here with us!
**Trigger Warning: As I am replying to the above, possibly triggering post please proceed with the same caution**
I am sorry to hear that you have go to through all that. I mean, abortion is a really hard topic still and can be really dividing. I feel tho, that you are the only one who knows where you are at life and if you could properly take care of a child and if you feel like you could not for whatever reason you have the right to make a decision like this. Of course there are so many other angles to this but my point of view is still that you are allowed to make decisions like this. After all, not like this is an easy thing for you either. Neither physically nor emotionally and I feel like it is very unfair that people are acting like that with you.
I mean, I beleive in that you do deserve to not be judged based on this and those who do are not right. I want you to know that you are always welcome here to share about the way you feel and I can promise that here, we are not judging you based on this and we will be here to support you through this and together we can get through this. I believe in it anyways and I do believe in you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
I am so incredibly far for normal. A lot the time I don't just wear a mask, but an entire costume. There are so many oddities about me. I often wonder if those that appear to fit within the mean are as "normal" as they appear or if they have their own things that make them feel isolated. Even in my costume I don't pass as normal. All someone has to do is reach out to shake my hand and that fact become overwhelmingly obvious.
Today I am very tried and in physical pain. Mentally I feel numb at the moment. This week was a whirlwind of ups and downs. I'm still trying to process it (one of my oddities is needing time to process things).
How are you Red? Are you ready for your break?
@practicalIdeal2007 aww ideal processing isnt easy and ups and downs alot can feel draining huggies if you want them
Hey there @practicalIdeal2007 *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to hear about you here!
I believe in the later, actually. I believe in that everyone wears masks and/or costumes in their day-to-day life and in the end of the day we all end up being a bit alone and isolated still because of these. I mean, all the people I have met and got to know better wore masks sooo...it would suggest that it is true anyways. :) - That's why I do not believe in this whole "normal" stuff :P
Of course I can understand that it can be especially hard when you have been through such things that can interfere with every day things as well but, based on the person I know, you are actually a really kind, caring, and lovely person and I am glad that I have got to know you. - if that matters
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a tiring and hard week and I thin it is totally understandable that you do need time to process it now. I still hope you will get better soon, both mentally and physically tho and that you will be able to have some rest now and just some times for yourself to recharge and process everything :)
If there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you!
I am....well....okay, for the most part and definitely ready for this week off from work. Thank you very much for asking. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
To be honest Red, I'm scared. I'm scared of myself and what I might do. I haven't made the best decisions lately. I haven't delt with the things that have happened in the last 1.5 months well. I'm not sure how a normal person would deal with it, but probably not in the ways that I have.
@practicalIdeal2007 You have tried your best and you are still doing your best!
I mean, this is not easy, I know it and I know that it can be very, very hard at times and we all make mistakes and bad decisions or react in not-the-best ways to things happening with us so I suppose it is normal to not be sure and make mistakes. The important thing is to know that your mistakes do not define you, you are so much more than those. You know, what defines you is the way how you actually are still here, trying, reaching out for help and that is really amazing and shows how strong you acutally are and I am just really proud of you for that and once again I would like to offer you my support if you will ever need it :)
Just a hi
@crimsonLime6525
Hi crimsonLime. I'll sit here with if you like.
@practicalIdeal2007 thank you, kinda don
@crimsonLime6525
I'm right here.
Do you want to talk about it? Or we can just hang out in the pillow fort.
@practicalIdeal2007 I know I need to talk but too much of a coward right now so can we just hide in the pillow fort for a while. I
@crimsonLime6525
No need to talk. I understand that sometimes talking can be overwhelming. We'll just sit here for awhile in the pillow fort where it's safe.
@practicalIdeal2007 thank you
@crimsonLime6525 heyy lime good to see you just a hi is perfectly ok
@CaringBrit thank you for just being you
@crimsonLime6525 yw
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
I am really glad to hear from you and see you around!
I hope you are doing okay and if there is anything we may be able to help you with we are here for you anytime if and when you may feel ready for sharing anything, that is, there is no pressure here! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark thank you for the hugs
Hi Red
The other day a friend told me and our other friends that we are all "so normal", because we dress normally, we aren't "nerds", we fit in with society. Now the friend who said this doesn't consider herself normal, but if you didn't know you would think she is relatively normal. I think that all of us would say we are not normal, we just wear masks and pretend. I told her this but she still thinks she is the only not-normal person. It upset me because my friends know nothing about my past, or what goes on inside my head, they don't know that I have serious mental health problems, because I don't say anything about it. It hurts to tell someone that you've had so much practise at putting up a mask to appear normal and for them to just dismiss you. It makes me feel even more alone.
Hey there @FloweringBunny *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to hear from you around here!
I see that often as well. It is hard some times tho to really understand that it's not you that is not normal but everyone else around you is just wearing masks so I can understand your friend somewhat even though she is not right. I mean, as I have menitoned it above I do not really believe that the - definitive - normal person exists anyways but it is not a bad thing. I feel like all these little differences that make us unique make us intersting and beautfiul in our own way :)
On the other hand masks can do that, they can make you feel alone even with people around you who you love. It is not easy to take masks of tho and I can totally understand that especiallly with the stigma around these issues and how hard those memories for you. It is important to notice tho that you are not "broken" by default because of them and you are not just to be dismissed once you talk about them. What you have been through and you go through these days is not your fault but the way you act and the strength you show by going on and trying your best, fitting in, making friends is what truly speaks about you as a person and I think that, based on this, you are a pretty amazing person! :)
Stay awesome!
Hello.
This has been a confusing week for me, i feel like ive had too many ups and downs the past few weeks. Im definitely in the downs this week. Ive been struggling a lot with eating and weighing, obsessing over the numbers. I dont feel too thin, i dont really feel that thin at all actually. Its hard to know if what i think or see is reality. It all seems skewed.
Hey there @Npepsicola *offering safe hugs*
I am really glad to see you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you have had so many ups and downs to deal with lately as I know it can be really draining. I still do not know enough about eating disorders or things related to that to be helpful with that and I do not want to do more damage so I just want you to know that either way I am here and if you ever feel like sharing more or if there is anything I may be able to help you with I am - and others as well are - here for you and we can get through this together! :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Its interesting to hear what you had to say about the word "normal." I fill out a mood log each week for my therapist and the options go from -5 (depressed) to +5 (manic). and next to 0 is that word. Normal. I stare at it all the time, trying to figure out what it means, what it looks like. Its super confusing to think about! I wish there were another word there in its place. A word that isnt so complicated. I asked if it means normal for ME or normal for someone else. We never really did come up with much clarification. Which is okay, since i dont feel normal ever anyways ha. But every day i have that word staring up at me, and i stare back at it like im looking at an alien or a stranger.
@Npepsicola Oh, that is intersting.
Probably "Neutral" could work that as well. I mean, in the sense that you are feeling not really either of the two ends of the scale or just, you know, a simple zero without any word to it. I am really bad with labelling feelings as well so sometimes I do actually find it useful when things like this help me better understand and even label the way I feel but I have to admit just "normal" does not seem that useful for me either. I hope you will be able to figure it out some day with your therapist as I am sure it would be bothering me as well to just look at something like that every day without understanding it or any clarification like that.
I am totally procrastinating by posting in here ahahha. I'm ignoring the work I'm trying to finish off because i've been off ill all week :P.
Re: being normal. I don't think many people are 'normal'. I mean if you look at the number of people who are abnormal then... well normal kinda disappears :D. I do often feel maybe more abnormal than others because I have alot of sensory issues, loud noises, bright lights, strange tastes and textures. But thats kinda part of being autistic so I don't mind that so much, though it can make many things hard. Most people once I got to know them have issues, sure they may not be a severe or dramatic, but they still affect them and how they live. Many people get anxious, scared, tired, overwhelmed. I think normal just ignores human nature and makes us think that photographs and snapshots are who people are. End of the day every human goes through ups and downs, they just don't like other people seeing it. Comparisons never really helped anyone :P.
Hey there @Lilibuth12 *offering safe hugs*
Whatever is the reason for it I am really happy to see you around here and I think you do deserve breaks from work even if you are a bit backed up!
I do agree with you, I do not really think there is any "normal" people strictly speaking and those abnormalities - or unique featuers, which sounds better :P - make you you and make me me and so on and I think they are important. :)
Of course the degree of how far away someone is from "normal" can make a big difference nowadays when people tend to try to judge a lot by first impressions. I mean, even I was doing it quite some times ago and I think with that this place has really helped a lot to understand that you cannot really judge anyone just by one, first impression. As I mentioned above, that moment of >sonder< is actually a really important but hard thing to come across.
I am glad to hear that you can see things as thay are tho and you can understand that you are not alone with your struggles and, in fact, everyone is going through different kinds of struggles through our lifes :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
How are you feeling? :)
ok...great sister visit me :D
How has this week been for you?
calming
Is there anything on your mind you would like to share?
Masks hmm... I didn't carefully read all post sometimes not cosetrated..I try to be better and I just messed up so now I just go slow,play safe and being me.. Idkwhat to think about mask..always feel amountz of feeling alone. I may bit go to far letting go mask...Idk I like to say I am like star that wishes to be sun... I need my darkness to shine. I am sometimes scared of sufecate others with love... It's like some of times expetialy with animals..they are so pure creatures... I like give love and than go so won't be too much...lately bit didn't escape but that makes me vurnable... There like screams way was raised and may what sociaty made me to be like that idk how to heal...I may bit give up like...Is it posible to heal even from inside...become who where you meant to be when you where born...Do we need to waith paredise. Idk do I believe in paredise but like idea myb not angels like we became mean like good and all knoligenble but raither complite..it gives me hope...I am scared I'll never be full. I also worried is ok my pet that left me..was very sick and I became bit too much caring.It's like emptiness idk how to deal with. I know emptiness is lie but feels so real..anxiety also done it's part. Idk I feel bit like I idk no good enough and lost..not belong here like...I don't like much way sociaty is in my country...They don't encouraging you to be somth more and focus on like what is reseneble...and I want even if just ordanary like to do somth more...Ppl many pity themselves too much..sometimes I wonder is it posible to use your potentiol with such company... I may spend time with friends not feel like cos I can't say NO...and worried would they make me lower. Enyway I am type of person that wants to be active even if it's stuck in comfurt zone... Owh got tired of talking...think saed more or less :P
Hey there @conscientiousPineapple1782 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to see you around here!
I am really glad to hear that you are feeling okay and that your great sister was visiting you! :)
Also, it sounds really nice that you have been able to recharge a bit this week and just calm down. ^-^
You know it sounds nice. I mean the part that you are able to show yourself without masks on but I can imagine it has to be really hard as well at times and I suppose people are not really used to that, not really used to people be honest and show love - or anything else really - as it is and may find it overwhelming but animals sure are really special as they do not wear masks and they are not expecting you to wear masks either. :)
Also, as a sidenote, I think it is possible. I mean, the Sun is a star so a star can become a sun and with all that love and warmth you give I feel like you may be the sun for some people or animals at times! :)
Also, being without masks sure can feel vulnarable as well and that, especially with traumas you have been through can be really hard to handle and really hurt to put so much trust into someone to really show your true self and I think the fact that you are trying and you are able to shows that you are truly a strong and amazing person.
Of course with all that trauma it can make it hard to really do everyday things as well as sometimes feel impossible to get into bigger things or just rleate to others or...well...actually relate to yourself at times but I am still believe in that there is a way and you can get better. I mean, of course it may only be just my naivity of believe in things like this but I truly do and I want you to know that I am here to help as well, if I ever can or if you ever have anything you may want to share. :)
It is interesting to think about that how much people may be doing just for others like you do for your friends, stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can be sometimes usefull even though draining. I mean, that is an aspect that I have been thinking lately but have not got that far with it yet but I guess that will come when I will be inevitably work on my boundaries sometimes. ^-^
You know, just to re-iterate it, I want you to know that I think you are just such an amazing and strong person for trying to let people close to you and see you, the true you without a mask, after everything and I do truly admire you for it and I think you are not "empty". You are having so much going for you and I am really glad that I have got to here from you here. :)
Stay awesome!
Hasn't really been an easy week. It feels like life is falling apart faster than i can put it back together. Made some terrible terrible decisions which led to certain things and now it's like a never ending loop.
Hey there @lyricalSea85 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us.
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a hard week and that you have got into a cycle like that. I mean, it can be definitely hard to break but I can tell that you are really strong and I do totally believe in that you can and I do believe in you! :)
Also, we all are here for you and we can get this together so if there is anything we may be able to help you with or you would just like to share more about the way you feel we are here for you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark thanks buddy. Means a lot :')