Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday 17th of November, 2018
Hey there! 
I am so happy to hear from all of you once again! Can you believe we have already made it through an other week, I mean it is pretty awesome and I am really proud of you for being so strong, brave, and just generally awesome! ^-^
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything on your mind you would like to share about it? :)
Also, more importantly, how are you feeling today? :)
I do not know about you but the weather is getting rather cold around here!
Although, I generally like the more chill-y weather and I just think it can be really beautiful it always causes me some issues as I am not the best at being mindful and taking good care of myself in the cold weather. It is not rare that I just don't take a jacket with me or so although I know I should.
Also, late autumn and winter can really be hard on my mood sometimes as well. Are these cold times of the year hard for you as well?
I mean, I generally found it useful to just wrap myself in a blanket with my teddy bear and just stay inside watching a good movie or listening to some good music and the best part is: you can just do it because of the weather and nobody will think you are weird. :P
I mean, I am still weird, but you know, at least I can blend in better around this time of the year :D
Also, I actually find some longer walks in the cold air a really good way to clear my mind a bit. With some fitting music of course. :)
Do you have any things like that you like to do in the cold weather and helps you feel better? :)
I mean, anyways, just stay warm and cozy! ^-^
Of course, as usually all of the questions are optional and if you just want to say hi and just sit around with us it would be really awesome as well and we would be really happy to have you here with us! :)
Also, we could totally hide together from the cold weather in a warm and cozy pillow fort. :P
*boops* @InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007 @incompl @Raveninthelabrynth
Please let us know and contact me or @Kate or anyone from the team if you would like to be added or removed from the taglist :)
@redmark
It's been really difficult to stay motivated or energetic when it's cold. Like I'm immediately zapped and just want to nap. (I'm not normally able to take naps.) I've been having to drink a lot of coffee. I think I've been sleeping better at night though, which makes it even weirder! :)
Have a good weekend.
Hey there @SentientiaPoecile *offering safe hugs*
It is so awesome to see you around here!
It can be really hard to keep energetic through the winter, I do struggle a lot with that as well. Also, it is just so much harder to get out of the bed even with knowing how cold it is outside >.<
Although, I have actually heard that for sleep it is better if the temprature is colder, which is weird. Anyways, I am glad to hear that it helps you to at least get a better sleep! :)
Thank you and have a nice weekend as well! ^-^
Stay awesome!
@SentientiaPoecile
I totally get that. The cold just adds an extra step to everything. Every decision, every task now has an extra variable to consider. That being said, a change has happened to me this year. This may be the last year I have with a real winter in the north and well... I feel myself enjoying it more than I have in recent years. The smalls of fall/early winter are like nothing else in this world. The soft yellow glow of an overnight snowstorm... The way the air... FEELS. I'm going to miss it. Despite all the obstructions the winter and the cold can make... I am going to truly miss miss this time of year when I move.
I wish I had've used this perspective before I only had one winter left!! I feel like looking for the positives and things I enjoy in things is such a powerful force that I often forget about. I look at everything as an obstacle to be overcome instead of a sensation to enjoy. What a perspective switch.
@Hoxenos
I understand what you mean, moved a couple times myself. I think it's cool that you are appreciating it now though rather than after you move... like that "don't know what you got til it's gone" song. Is not gone yet. Then maybe after the move you can carry these last memories with you, leaving a kinda positive last impression of your time there.
Are you excited to move? I've enjoyed the chances to start over in a way.
This week has been hard for me, but not as hard as it can be. :) I had some very happy moments mixed in with my intensely high stress levels. That makes things easier. I have support in my loved ones, in 7cups, and in myself, though, so I pulled through it. It's getting colder here, too! I love autumn. It's my favorite. In my art class we have to design a box of tea, so I am, of course, really on theme right now hahaha. Anyway, thanks for asking. :)
Hey there @betterchoices *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to see you around here and hear from you!
Oh, I am sorry to hear that you have had such a busy and stressful week at times! 
I am really glad to hear that it has had it's good moments and that you have got plenty of support! I am really proud of yoiu for making through this hard week! ^-^
That art project sounds really awesome! It was quite some times ago when I have last got like creative and just did some...well..."art". I mean, I am not really good in any sort of arts but you know, just for the sake of it :P
I am glad that you do enjoy it anyways and that you do like this part of the year! :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark wow! Thank you so much for replying! This made my day! I feel so listened to! You're lovely. Thank you so much. Huge hugs.
@betterchoices
It sounds like you're balancing really well! That's got to be a good feeling! Knowing that stress has been happening but that you are handling it, so much to be proud of there :) Remember to love yourself and be proud of this week !
@Hoxenos Thank you so tremendously for these kind reminders. I need them. :') you're doing a good job too.
@betterchoices
It's no problem at all. I think you deserve it :)
@betterchoices
I love your name. And i really liked how you said you have support in yourself too. That's an awesome perspective.
@redmark
Hi Red. It is cold and I don't like the cold. Today was a long day. It wasn't a bad day, but I had to face some fears and in some overwhelming places. I was around a ton of people and I'm not a fan of being around people. I'm exhausted and I would really like to hide in the pillow fort for awhile now.
@practicalIdeal2007
Facing your fears is pretty huge, and can be draining. Taking time for yourself is a good idea. Well-deserved.
Hey there @practicalIdeal2007 *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to see you around here!
Oh, yep, I am not the biggest fan of the cold either generally, I mean, other than taking some walks sometimes to clear my head but still. I am sorry to hear that the weather is cold there as well.
Being around people is hard for sure. I am really proud of you for doing so well and being so strong, you have done a really good job today facing those fears and just making through it! :)
You do definitely deserve some time for yourself to recharge now and just some time for yourself! ^-^
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
I always like to hear from you. You are such a kind and supportive person.
I am snuggled up with my heated blanket and my bear today. We are going to hide from the cold and enjoy some quiet time.
@practicalIdeal2007 yay! That sounds like an awesome plan! I hope you and your teddy bear will enjoy it! ^-^
@practicalIdeal2007
Hey I know that right now you're exhausted, but I just want to say I'm proud of you for doing all the tough stuff today. I hope you can take a moment to feel proud of the challenges you've faced today because you deserve it :)
@Hoxenos
Hi. I don't remember if we've met before or not. I apologize my memory and I are having some issues. Thank you for your kind words.
@practicalIdeal2007
Hi,
There are a lot of names to keep track of on the site, so I think it makes sense to not be able to remember all of them. I'm not sure we've officially met before either, so hi I'm Hox and it's nice to meet you :)
i like to cuddle something or someone. our partner, our stuffed animals, our blankies. all soft and cuddly to keep warm. and warm coco
Hey there @Amenanak *offering safe hugs*
We are so glad to have you here with us!
Yep, definitely! Cuddling my teddy bear is one of my favourite thing to do as well. I mean, not just in cold weather but it is just so nice in the cold and really keeps you warm. ^-^
Also, hot coco is always awesome too. :)
Stay awesome!
Hi.
I would very much like to hide together and no warm and cozy pillow fort. That sounds amazing. Especially as I feel kind of alone right now. I know Im not I have great people my life but I still feel alone. Thank you for the cute pictures too, they always cheer me up a little.
I cant remember all of this week. I know on Thursday I had some times that I felt better than I have in a very very long time. That was really great. And I was able to do some things today that I havent felt up to doing in several months. Successfully, I did some on my own. Which is really good for me.
I also cant stop crying this evening. Im disappointed by some friends. They are good people and its not on purpose but it still hurts. The problem is that basically they dont have any time for me anymore. And I know its not on purpose but they are the same people who promised that they would be there for me and said if you dont believe it now will prove it to you. Will still be there. And perhaps they will be but they keep having less and less and less time for me lately. I was managing because I knew we were supposed to be spending some time together tomorrow and then I just canceled out on me too. Sometimes when Im in this much pain I dont have a real high frustration tolerance. Also, I dont think its really true but it just makes me feel like they dont want to spend time with me anymore. Because we went from spending a ton of time together to almost none. I unders
@pioneeringBanana1598
Sorry hit the wrong button and cut myself off. Anyway, I understand sometimes things have to change but it went from spending a ton of time together to almost none. Ive been OK if we do still had tomorrow together but dont have that. And once again its not something that I have any say in. They get to make all the choices about when theyre available one or not because obviously theyre so busy and so stressed and I guess I apparently Im not. Sorry, I feel like a jerk saying all this. Because they were amazing and wonderful friends. And they are still good people but very inconsistent which hurts me. Because Im also having flashbacks, more intense ones this week and in the last few weeks, and I dont know Whats real and what was not. I cant tell the difference but it sure feels like something bad really bad happened. I remember somethings but not the stuff that these flashbacks are about. Its super overwhelming. I think I used more words than Im supposed to in this post, sorry. But you guys seem pretty understanding so I appreciate that. Sorry. 😢
@pioneeringBanana1598
Please don't be sorry. I'm glad you posted. I get what you're saying. You get to have that choice too. It doesn't have to be all up to your friends. I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. It sounds really painful. It could be any variety of reasons that they do what they do, or each one could have their own reason, but either way you just do what's best for you. If that happens to be with them when they're treating you with respect, that's cool. If they're wrapped up in their own stuff, let it be and do something for you. You're worth that. You are.
You mentioned that you did something for yourself today that seemed pretty special. Sounds like a big thing. I hope you are proud of you today. I hope you can feel it fully and give yourself credit. Maybe do something just for you. And let everything else fall into place.
@pioneeringBanana1598
Hi Banana,
I don't think that you should feel bad about these feelings you're having about your friends. I think that what you're feeling is a normal and acceptable response to what's going on between you and your friends. It's normal to know something objectively on the outside is normal... like knowing that your friends are busy. Like you understand where they're coming from... but you're still allowed to feel hurt by it. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and I think that the way you are feeling... anyone would feel. So please don't beat yourself up too much about that <3
I think like you said, they're busy right now, but who knows when that will change. I suppose if they're in school at the moment, things are probably getting to exam time. All I'm saying is that they still care about you, they've just had to reshuffle their own priorities for the time being. It sucks that it comes at a time that you need them though :(
Inconsistency is something that can be especially challenging for survivors of trauma. It gives us added worry and dread about things. Depending on the kind of trauma you've experienced, this may also add to feelings of abandonment or sensitivity. Trauma makes us be hyper aware of our dangers, and being separated from our friends would have been especially dangerous in ancient times. It sounds like you're already doing a really good job of keeping a good perspective on things with your trauma in mind, and I think that's a really impressive thing. Perhaps doing things to help make you feel safe in the mean time. Doing relaxation exercises and repeating the mantra "I am safe," or something. What are other ways that you can reassure yourself that you are safe?
As for the flashbacks, for now you can always talk to us about them, perhaps in the diary or the tell your story sections. We are here for you as a crutch as long as you need us. <3
Hey there @pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for! I am so happy to have you here with us and I am proud of you for opening up, you are doing a really good job!
You are always welcome to hide with us in our pillow fort! :)
I can imagine it has to be really hard to feel alone like this and it sadly happens even if there are caring people around you and, honestly, I do understand it, I do feel like that at times as well but that is why I am really glad that you have decided to share this with us and I am happy that you have liked the pictures and they helped to cheer you up a bit. ^-^
Yay! Good job! It is really awesome that you have been able things like that done. I can imagine it had to be a long week for you but I am glad to hear that you have had such times when you have felt so good and that you were able to be so productive. You are really doing a great job.
That sounds really hard for sure, I am sorry to hear about it!
I mean, first of all, there is absolutely nothing to be sorry about, sharing your feelings is important and your feelings are valid and they matter and so do you. If anything, I am proud of you for being so brave and sharing them!
It is always hard with friends I suppose. People can apperently drift apart very easily, as I have learned it as well. Knowing it tho doesn't make it any easier still. I suppose tho, you can still try to address this. From what you wrote anyways, from the fact that you are still trying to make plans together, they do still care about you and I think giving feedback can be really helpful on this. Generally, communication is very useful in any sort of relationship although it is hard.
I am really bad at confrontation as well and I have no idea how to do it most of the time but probably if you have one "best friend", somebody really close to you, you could try to talk with them and have them help you figure this whole thing out. I mean, relationships, after all, are always teamwork. :)
Especially if they promised that they will be there for you I think they would be open to try to work this out as well if possible for the best of the both of you as I am sure they do not want to lose you either. :)
You know, the strange thing is that people can lost in their own world. Like, there is no bad intent in it but if they have a stressful life as well it is possible that they can get really focused on it and just not see your pain for example. I mean, I know that for you your pain feel obvious and I know it is very hard but sometimes sharing your feelings can help others to help you better or understand your situation and just be there for you better.
I mean, you have to share nothing big. I am not saying that you should go into details you could just tell that "Hey guys, I am sorry, I am not feeling so well." and that's it. To my surprise anyways people do care once they see and know that you need them to care. - or at least that is my experience :)
Of course I can understand that dealing with all those flashbacks can be really exhausting and overwhelming and reaching out to people is really hard and scary to do but you have done a really good job here as well!
I mean, if there is anything we may be able to help you with or you ever feel like you would like to vent here you are always welcome and I would be glad to hear from you more some other times :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Hi red. I'm new here and this is my first post.
It's cold here too. It snowed Thursday night and a little last night. I don't really like the cold. Snuggling in blankets sounds really nice right now. Today has been alright. I haven't been sleeping that well and this headache keeps coming back. I had a crying spell earlier because of my anxiety of tackling the issues that my PTSD causes me. I'm trying to take it one step at a time, but feel overwhelmed at the same time. I'm going to try writing to help me feel better. I'm going to give 7 cups a try and see how I feel after a few days :) Hope to see you again
@shadowmere14
Welcome. Sounds like you & I had a very similar day. I too have PTSD and have a lot of anxiety and some definite crying today. Sometimes Its nice to know that youre not the only one dealing with certain things. Good job on trying to tackle some of the issues youre dealing with. I hope you find 7 Cups helpful. Im relatively new here but Ive definitely found it helpful. Sending positive thoughts your way.
@pioneeringBanana1598
Thank you for the welcome. This is all kind of new to me. I'm a really big introvert, so talking like this is kind of scary. I agree. It is nice to know that we're not alomf with our issues. Thank you. I'm trying. I'm liking 7 Cups so far. I downloaded the app today. Thanks for the positivity. I'm sending some your way too.
Hey there @shadowmere14 *offering safe hugs*
Welcome here! We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh...it is getting kind of a rare thing here that it actually snows and I guess I kind of envy you. I mean, I like snow for some reason but not really the cold either which I guess could not really happen without one another. Anyways, sorry, I got a bit off track there, snugglin in blankets sounds aweosme for sure! :)
Anxiety and PTSD can be overwheling for sure and I am sorry to hear that you have had a crying spell like that, although crying is actually not a bad thing, it can help you to release a lot of built up feelings and I do hope you have found some release in it as well. :)
Also, that headache sure sounds frustrating so I hope it will go away for you soon! *offering safe hugs*
Taking things one step at a time if definitely a good way to take this and you are doing a really good job. I mean, I know that reaching out here had to be hard and really scary but I am really proud of you for being so strong and brave and sharing all this with us!
I hope you will find writing and this place helpful for you as well and I do definitely look forward to hear from you again as well sometimes :)
Stay strong and aweosme!
@redmark
*takes the safe hugs* Thank you for the welcome. I'm glad to be here. This is kind of new to me. Which part of Hungary do you live? It doesn't snow much by you? The snow is pretty for the first couple of days, then I wish it would go away.
I know it's not bad. Crying just takes a lot of energy out of me and then I don't have much energy to continue with my day. So I don't allow myself to cry much. The headache went away after some sleep. *takes more safe hugs* Thank you. Yes, reaching out was very hard and scary. I'm scared I won't be able to connect with anyone here. I'm going to do my best to do a check in every day. I might not have time with the school semester getting close to the end. But I think I'll like it here.
Thank you Red.
@shadowmere14 I am actually living on the nothern border, not that Hungary is really that big. When I was growing up we have actually had snow, I remember that but lately it is getting really rare, like we have it once or maybe twice each winter and even what we have is that very wet snow which just gets dirty rally quickly :(
I mean, I hope we will have some nice snow this year tho! :)
I can imagine that connecting with people has to be hard after all you have been through but I have found that people here are understanding and I think it is a really nice plan you have that you will just try to be a bit active here. I mean, there is no pressure on you, of course, if you ever feel like skipping a day or two, it is okay, you will be always welcomed here, no matter what. :)
I mean, I am happy to hear that you are liking it here so far and also that your headache went away. ^-^
@redmark
Hungary isn't big? Oh wow! I grew up with mostly ice and a tiny bit of snow. But I moved, so it snows a lot in the winter. I hope you get some nice snow as well :)
Thank you. That makes me feel better about being here. Everyone is so nice and helpful. I'm starting to like it here :)
@shadowmere14
Hey Shadow,
Thank you so much for sharing with us. It's never easy to write your first post, but I'm really proud of you for doing it. I hope that writing here will help you with each of those steps that are difficult. It can be frustrating when even the smallest things feel more difficult because of PTSD. I feel like we have to do more calculations for things like how much mental energy we have to do things than other people do. And sometimes even those calculations can be draining to do, or they create worry or dread about the upcoming things to do.
Are you the type of person that prefers plans to help you keep track of things? Or do plans make things feel more stressful?
@Hoxenos
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Thank you. It's really hard for me to reach out to people that I don't know. I plan on getting to know as many as you guys as I can. I feel all of that so much. I'm definitely the type of person to plan things out. And I don't do very well when the plans have to be changed on the fly. That's very stressful for me.
im still feeling poorly so my discussion is cancelled this week plus no keyboard til it comes tuesday
@CaringBrit
I hope you are feeling better soon. It is important to take care of yourself.
@practicalIdeal2007 me too just resting movies while icky stomach gets better
@CaringBrit
I don't have the attention span to watch movies, but I like to put them on in the background for sound sometimes. What kind of movies do you like to watch? I've been watching some shorter TV programs on Netflix.
@practicalIdeal2007 i use netflix so various genres mystery adventure action animation
Hey there @CaringBrit *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to see you around here!
Of course, you come first always and I do hope that you will feel better soon and if there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you! :)
I do hope to hear from you again soon but there is no pressure, just take all the time you may need ^-^
Stay awesome!
@redmark emotionally im great just a poorly tummy is all so im resting
@CaringBrit Oh....well...still, take all the time you need to feel better! ^-^
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything on your mind you would like to share about it? :) my week has been up down with health issues and migraines, but I still got some writing it
Also, more importantly, how are you feeling today? :) I pulled my foot and I'm in pain sigh. Even though I made dinner, I still feel creativity productive
I do not know about you but the weather is getting rather cold around here! I do not like cold weather.
Hey there @Rebekahwriter13 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a rollercoaster of a week as I can imagine it had to be really hard and migraines...they are not fun for sure :(
I am glad to hear that you have still been able to get some writing done tho, it sounds nice and I am really proud of you as I know it had to be hard to stay concentrated like that :)
Aww....I hope you foot feel get better soon! Make sure to let it rest and give it some time for now. :)
I am glad to hear that you have got a good dinner and you have been able to be productive and creative as well tho, it sounds really nice! ^-^
Yep, I am not the biggest fan of the cold weather either. I mean, I like the snow, I guess, but otherwise it is more of an annoyance most of the time.
Stay awesome!
@redmark
I'm doing somewhat better. I found out i have gout in my food so I'm watching what I eat.
I'm trying to focus on my writing