Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Sunday September 16th
Apologies everyone for such a late check-in today. Blame it on lazy weekend brain?
I'll keep today's brief. I usually ask about how you're feeling on a scale of 1-10, but sometimes numbers aren't the best way to describe how we're feeling. I'm a very visual person and sometimes speaking in terms of colors makes more sense to me. Those of you who are group mods may know that I often like to ask about rooms in terms of color: are you red, yellow or green today?
I would say I am a purple today. To me, purple embodies feeling calm but also reflective. Let me know if you have a different interpretation!
What color describes how you're feeling today?
Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!
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Idk maybe red because things have been pretty on edge lately
Or grey but not super sad grey just boring
@wittySpruce8187 Red feels like a chaotic and possibly overwhelming color for me as well. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling red mixed with the dull grey 
@Kate
Thank you 💜 I'm doing ok now
@wittySpruce8187
Sometimes I feel multiple colours and seemingly opposite feelings at the same time. Like one is more passive and the other seems vivid but both at the same time so I relate to the grey and the red. Do you ever explore them and work out what is behind it? Sometimes I get paint and smoosh it in my journal. Actually your post reminded me of one I did a while ago in my journal:
Purple means hiding the bruised feelings of hurt, maybe anger or sadness. Mixing of blues and reds make the purple. But I have other parts of me that love purple and find it their happy colour!
I think I feel teal today, mixure of blues because my body feels sore and greens because I spent time in nature this morning painting decking and I enjoyed listening to the birds. I don't feel 100% calm, there is definately something under the surface but am ok.
@LifeIsMyCanvas It's interesting how we have different perspectives on the colors and how our unique experiences make those connections for us. Teal sounds nice though. For me, I think teal would be slightly energized and represent that connection with nature you mentioned.
I love this gif for a mood
The colors are kinda calming in my opinion
@summertimeSamness - Wow! Good find!!!
@Kate
Hi Kate.
Picking a color is hard. I think navy blue. Maybe midnight blue is better.
@practicalIdeal2007
Sometimes it's hard for me to pick a color too. Do you know what made it feel difficult for you? What feelings do midnight blue represent for you?
@summertimeSamness.
Midnight blue is a cross between black and blue. That has a couple meanings to me. I wanted to say black a first. Black is void and dark and I feel those things, but black feels trapped. Blue to me is sad and lonely and that is part of it too. So midnight blue makes sense. Black and blue also signifies bruises and bruised is a good description.
@practicalIdeal2007
That's a really good desciption, I hope the bruised feelings pass quickly
@practicalIdeal2007
That's a really powerful description! Thanks for sharing it with me <3<3
@Kate
I like to think if i can recongize i'm feeling one way then I can try to be an artist and paint new colors on my canvas. I can do this by practicing different self-care and coping skills. So maybe I started out red today because i was super grouchy and stressed but I'm slowly changing that color to lighter shades by relaxing. Letting go of bad feelings from this morning helped me for now. So it was kinda like adding splashes of other colors to make a pretty rainbow :P
@summertimeSamness
ME TOOO!!!!! Hence my name 
I like to paint my feelings inside little jars so that I can explore how each part of me is feeling but without overwhelming each other with all the feelings. Kinda like this:
@LifeIsMyCanvas
I really like that idea. Thanks for sharing it.
@LifeIsMyCanvas
well i just had a blonde moment and finally realized that's your username XD my canvas pun wasn't intended but i'll pretend like it was :P<3 Love your jars and thanks for sharing!!! <3
Hi @Kate and everyone!
I like this idea of colors a lot!!! It is very hard for me to pick a number 1-10. The first group discussion I was in, they said pick 1-10 to describe how you are feeling. And I was like, how?!!
So ... color of lima-bean-green - to represent anxiety, which is very high for me right now
color of deep, dark red - represents my anger at not being invited AND now being nearly required to be caregiver for 2 weeks (aka no choices)
color of brown, orange, red, yellow - representing the colors we used to use for coloring a turkey or a cornucopia at Thanksgiving time, also colors associated with fall = GOOD THING! Feelings of thankful, even in the midst of grief and hurting.
color of midnight-red - is this a color? it is like 95% black and 5% red. I guess this would be my main color for today because it is 1. mixed, 2. dark but not completely, and 3. perhaps has some hope tucked in there somewhere.
This describing was fun. Thank you, Kate. (stamp) "Platy approved." hehe
@cyanPlatypus6370
I agree picking a number for rating feelings can be really challenging! I really liked reading your color descriptions! It helped me connect it with the feelings you are having. I hope you have a good rest of your sunday!
@summertimeSamness - Thank you dear. (do we call you Sam?) It can be hard for me to describe my feelings so using something like colors or season or book titles even can be helpful for me and for the other person to hopefully understand my meaning more clearly. <3 Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370
Yup my name is samantha but i go by Sam except when I'm in trouble XD then it's Samantha :P<3
I struggle with identifying feelings too. Like i feel them but like i don't want to feel it so it's really hard to me to awknowledge it. Oh i like your seasons idea and book titles. Sometimes I compare my feelings to a movie scene or I search for a gif that relates to it
@cyanPlatypus6370
Lots of really unique sounding colours there Platy, I like your descriptiveness 
this one is also Canvas approved hehehe.
I suck with numbers, I always feel like I need to justify my number or give up and say 5 lol.
I think midnight red should definately be a colour... infact I've been hunting the stores for that exact colour in lipstick and eyeshaddow form lol
@LifeIsMyCanvas Meant to be friends? (actual smile, meaning *real* smile of Platy <--- those seem to be rare here lately) I very much liked your journal page/ color expression. Have you done others? <3 Platy
I'll use both numbers and colors I guess.. Um my color would be black or grey and my number would be a 1 ... The worst... I just feel suicidal and numb honestly. I don't feel okay.. I see my doctor tomorrow also for my mental health.. . I am getting new sleeping meds.. . I don't know abou new meds for depression. . Mom was talking to my sisters today and my sister asked for meds to help her sleep. My mom said no you want to be a pill head like the rest of your family. I pretty much almost flipped out on her. She was talking about me. I just feel so angry and depressed and irritable. I just can't do this anymore...
@Hope7879
Hey sweetheart, sounds like things are still rough at home 
I hope that seeing to doctor tomorrow will be helpful and you get the meds you need to feel better. There is no shame in taking medication if it helps you and keeps you safe. I totally understand why your mom's comments would be hurtful to you. If it helps I'm 34 and I need many meds for various things, mental health is no different to physical health, if we need meds we need them.
I really do see your strength hun, you keep trying even through all the yucky feelings
@LifeIsMyCanvas
This is a picture I drawn and colored it's a girl sitting there with her head on her knees and it's me she is crying but you can't really tell
@Hope7879
Wow that is very powerful, I see the sadness in it. I wish I could reach into your drawing and give you a safe hug
@LifeIsMyCanvas
what is sad is im shutting myself down over nothing
@Hope7879
anything that makes you that sad is not nothing! I'm glad you are reaching out and sharing here, we love and care for you.
@LifeIsMyCanvas
i talked to my doctor today my blood pressure was high and she needs me to get an ekg because my heart is fluttering Or palpitations... Plus I'm on a higher dose of my pill. I told her about my eating habits. She told my dad to be quiet pretty much and to stop bringing up eating issues. She asked me about me being scared of eating and I said yes . She said about calories. .. I kept to myself and said nothing after my dad blamed me for what happened a few weeks ago when we got out to the car he was upset and said you made me look stupid in there .. I just was quiet and stayed away. I got weighed nearly cried ..
@Hope7879
i hope this gif makes you smile today!
@summertimeSamness
Aww it did it's so cute thanks Sam I love youu
@Hope7879
loaf chu too!!!
@Hope7879
Big hugs
Glad the doctor stood up for you with your Dad. I really do think you are coping so well with all you have going on. Even though it probably doesn't feel like it right now.
Eating is super hard, I'm old and food is tricky so be gentle on yourself. Does it help to think of food as fuel? or is there something else you prefer to do? Sorry to hear about the ekg and your blood pressure. I hope the doctor can tell you why all of that is happening and how you can feel better as I bet that feels unsettling for you
@LifeIsMyCanvas
what is sad is i want it to be high for hopefully i can die so ...
@Hope7879
Oh cool idea linking your color to a number! That might help me link mine with a number, thanks for sharing that tip. I'm sorry your mom made that comment to you. When other people aren't being nice to you how can you show yourself some extra kindness today?
baby pink is my colour
@CaringBrit
I love baby pink! It was my wedding colour. Apparently it represents love and innocence... and because it reminds me of my hubby it is one of my fave safe colours
@LifeIsMyCanvas :) makes me safe toO
@CaringBrit
Baby pink is a cool color!
I'm a 6 today minus the cloudiness in my head. I'm tired but I know I slept, it's my sleep apnea fighting me.
I see my OBGYN Wednesday and I hope she can give me some answers.
I feel like a mustard yellow as my depression and anxiety has paranoid thoughts in my head and my weird dreams.
@Rebekahwriter13
Mustard yellow is a pretty strong colour, I can see why you picked that to represent the anxiety and paranoid feelings.
I really hope you can get the answers you need on Wednesday and some restful sleep
@Rebekahwriter13
*sending extra supportive vibes your way* i hope your appoint goes okie. Keep us updated on how it goes and we can be here to emotionally support you after your appointment