Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 24th August 2017
Welcome!
And glad you have joined us here. I don't know whether its the recent passing of Glen Campbell, but the words of "Try a little kindness" are playing over and over in my head... "You got to try a lttle kindness...Yes show a little kindness... Just shine your light for everyone to see... and if you try a little kindness..." and on it goes. Kindness to others along the way, and that led to kindness to oneself, usually called self-compassion.Which we hear alot about.Its said that self compassion is giving ourselves the same kindness and care that we would give a good friend. Easier said than done you may say. Or is it possible to gradually learn how to give self-compassion to oneself at times of perceived inadequacy or failure and suffering.
The quote for today comes from Sharon Salzberg : "Self -compassion is like a muscle. The more we practice flexing it, especially when life doesn't go exactly to plan (a frequent scenario for most of us) the stronger and more resilient our compassion muscle becomes."
How can we develop this muscle? One idea from Dr Kristin Neff Phd., a researcher and author, is to keep a daily journal in which you process the difficult events of the day through the lens of self- compassion. Think about how you would treat someone else and watch your words.. we can be so harsh to ourselves. Comfort yourself with a physical gesture, like hands over heart or holding onto your arm.Have a set of compassionate phrases at the ready like .. "May I be kind to myself in this moment." Practice guided meditiation and mindfulness.Let's take a moment today to practice self-compassion!
How is your day going? When did you notice some self-compassion? How does this affect you? Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x
@rozie
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Hoi hoi and Good Morning everyone. Looks like a beautiful day out. I hope you alle enjoy it. :)
I'm in this morning (eastern usa time), out this afternoon but back in the evening if anyone needs or wishes to chat. :)
Much Love alle :)
Raven
@Raveninthelabrynth
You have a great day too Raven! Thanks for the good wishes :D <3
@Bella20
Hey Bella, great to have you here with me.. it makes such a difference to know that you're not on your own,so thank you for being willing to be my check-in buddy. x
Last few days have done a number on me. Got a bit more sleep last night vs the previous night, but my energy is still sapped. I find it especially difficult to provide myself with compassion and kindness when it's most needed.
But I'm trying my best.
@melliotm hugs melli. how are things now?
@inventiveOrange1 I'm feeling better as the day progresses thankfully. How are you doing, Orange?
Hello all! I guess I'm trying to be kinder to myself by giving myself enough sleep and eating properly. It does take a lot of effort not to beat myself up over something, but being a listener helps develop compassion for others, which makes it easier to develop self-compassion.
@globalForest88
Good for you for trying to be kinder to yourself! And also for being a listener here with compassion for others. So how do you contiue to extend some of this compassion to yourself? What would you notice that told you that you were doing this. Have a good day. x
@rozie Ooh gosh. I guess I extend this compassion toward myself by asking how I would treat a friend in my situation. I would always be compassionate toward a friend. And another thing that makes acceptance of self-compassion easier is to remind myself that I deserve to care for myself. I'm a human being after all.
I suppose I notice self-compassion when I don't have negative, self-derogatory thoughts running through my head. At this point in my life, self-compassion is marked by the absence of self-hate, rather than the presence of something.
@globalForest88
Oh you are doing so well Forest .. as you have said its the absence of self-hate at this point in your life.. and you know that's a significant step! So just keep on knowing that you deserve kindness and self care. x
@rozie
Hi
erm my day is not so great today but I hope it won't get worse
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi Shade, sorry to hear you'r days not been so good... I'm hoping for you and with you that its gets a little better. Hugs.
@sensitiveShade5337 hugs shade.
I am recovering after traumatic incidents with bullying. I say affirmations on a regular basis, and read my notes from counselling regularly. I also have been exercising in order to heal.
@rozie. Hi rozie, I am trying each day to think of positive Bo matter what, I have been through so much, but I let that make me stronger. Hope everyone is doing well , and I'd you are struggling, here is a hug!
@jr50
Good for you! Its been so hard but you do get to know your strength through it all. Hope your day's gone well and hugs to you too.
@rozie
Hi...idk what much to say. I would be more compasion to my friend or someone dear for sure.
@conscientiousPineapple1782
Yes I agree with you. We are so much better at being compassionate to someone else.. to a dear one. Its only little by little that we are able to extend this to ourselves. But learning to do this is part of our healing. I would encourage you to try to find a little self-compassion, whether by one of the ways suggested today or something that fits for you. You deserve this. Let's know how you go. x
@rozie
myb I need to relaze I deserve love too. I do think we all deserve love and compasion. Why would I desrve eny less. I try to be realistic but follow also my guts..
@rozie
Hey! So from the therapist following me on 7cups, she says I'm doing some progress, tho I don't see them yet. Today was very hard on me, went deep into something I'm always running away from. But I'm just happy I could finally share it with someone who doesn't judge me for no reasons... So It's was a good day, I think... Not the better, not the worse. Just okay. :)
@Zombii
Sounding really good! Often we don't see our progress at first and someone else notices, so i'm glad the therapist told you this.It would have taken courage to go into something deeper... well done! And to be listened to without judgement is a real gift. Hope you get a well earned rest now. x
I hate nightmares. ☹️🙃😕
@melliotm
I'm sorry buddy. Here...
@BeeLeigh thanks Bee ❤️
Kept waking up and going right back into them :(
@melliotm
I hate when that happens! Stay in the fort, it's safe in there ❤️
@BeeLeigh had to duck out for an appointment 🙃 but headed back to the fort now thank goodness
@melliotm
Watch some Gilmore Girls and let the Lorelais take over :)
@BeeLeigh A fine plan Bee ❤️
How are you doing today?
@melliotm
I'm doin pretty good! I'm kinda nervous because I started a new medication two weeks ago, and I was given two weeks of what I'd been taking to transition into the new one, and today's my first day with just the new medication. Also school started this week and I have a lot of homework already. And I've been working on replacing some of my furniture with better/bigger shelving for more storage space. So there's been a lot happening this week already, and I can't slow down until I at least have my assignments done. But my therapist reminded me to not let it become psychosomatic, that just because I know I'm only on the new medication now to not basically make myself feel symptoms that aren't there. But I'm so nervous that I do actually feel my anxiety, so I'm trying to remind myself that I've been doing well enough, and I can keep doing well. I made it through last school year with a killer GPA, and it only took quite a few complete meltdowns and eventually triaging my assignments to decide which ones I could get away with not doing! I can make it through this year. Starting now. Because I don't have a choice. School started Tuesday and I've already turned in two assignments. Thank god for online classes cuz I'd never survive actual classes lol
@BeeLeigh Aw sounds extremely hectic -- self compassion is definitely a must in between all the change and uptick in activity. And boy, can I relate to managing psychosomatic reactions, especially re: new meds. Is great that your counsellor is mindful of this.😊
@melliotm
Maybe a little hectic. I've noticed more anxious behaviors the last couple weeks. Like more nail biting and being extra knee jiggly and stuff, but I've kinda been hoping that was due to taking two things that are meant to impact anxiety, and it would go away when I was only on the one. So, hopefully that's something that happens over the next few days or so. Idk. I've still been doing okay. I built one pretty big shelf on Tuesday, and one Wednesday that's bigger than what it replaced and just fits the space I needed it to, and I have a new bed frame I still need to put together. But the bed frame has to wait until after homework. I just need to get up and actually do my homework. I did a discussion board and a quiz today and other than that I've snacked and watched videos on my phone 😜
