Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 12th September 2017
Good morning to you all!
Looking to my favorite bear for a quote for today,this one seemed to fit with my thoughts,but hopefully doesn't fit with the beginning of your day.
:I'm so tired, my tired is tired." Winnie the Pooh.
Yes thinking about how it is to be depleted by trauma and to feel physically and emotionally exhausted. Its more than tiredness , its exhaustion. And many of us live with this daily. After a night of disrupted sleep, nightmares,taking a long time to fall asleep and maybe waking up early, its not surprising to be physically and mentally unrefreshed.Then its more difficult to cope with everyday life and any additonal stresses. Often followed by having to cope with the psychological strain of painful memories and emotional flashbacks and hypervigilance which drain resources and energy.Our concentration may be poor, we may become irritable. Then if we don't want others like workmates to know, there is the huge effort of hiding behind a false self and pretending everything is fine. We have children who need us to be functioning for them, and somehow we manage this too. And so we get through another day... absolutely fatigued.. but we made it!
Fatigue is a definitely a part of PTSD. so how to best manage this.Its important to reduce stress as much as possible, mindfulness, meditation, prayer, writing, exercise, talking can help to do this. Recognizing our limits and that's a hard one as we are not good at this and the inner critic would have us carry on,and not stop to rest. When there is limited energy tryying to prioritize tasks, knowing what we can do and what we can leave, like the shopping till tomorrow. And setting aside some downtime in the day.. time to relax and recharge.. its not a luxury, more a necessity. And just being kind and understanding as you would be with someone else.
How is your day going? What helps you to manage the fatigue? Do you think letting others who are close to you know that this is part of PTSD would be helpful? Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you.. This is your space and a safe place. x
I am working to heal from traumatic events involving harassment and bullying, both in person and online. I also had negative incidents happen to me online, where I saw modifications in three personal Internet accounts, that I did not make myself. I am now engaging in counselling with a social worker, who is assisting me to recover from trauma.
@Melayna
Hi Melayna and a warm welcome to you! We;re glad you have joined us here. its good to hear that you are getting support to heal from this trauma. And we are here in support too. x
@rozie
Hello Rozie and everyone.
How do I manage fatigue?
It's something I gradually overcome. When times are very troubled, I usually take a nap in a big pile of blankets with a stuffed animal and my cats. Make sure the heater is on, too. There's something about wanting warm, fuzzy textures when dealing with rather nasty PTSD. While I am living with someone who I can't show weakness to- otherwise they freak out and try to start stuff...
I do have others that I can talk to it about. My psychologist, people I've met on here, and sometimes I go straight to my spirituality. I do a little bit of everything for these, usually. Sometimes, you do just need to let yourself rest. I mean, most of the time(for me anyway). A nice bath with fancy soaps and the like is usually what I do, or a cute tea time with my loose teas. There are other times where I let myself read or do something different that I'm interested in instead of doing what's on task for school or what not. A good book can help, too. <3
@CaloenasNicobarica
Love how you describe the warm fuzzy textures and the comfort they give! Thanks for sharing the variety of ways you have found to cope with fatigue. As you say its gradually finding what helps and giving oneself permission to rest. Agree a good book.X
@rozie
Hello all. I don't have PTSD, although I do have some PTSD-like experiences, sometimes.
I can identify, because when I do have them, yes, they take up a lot of energy and time to resolve them.
I feel low in energy constantly. What's hard about that for me, is that I know the cause of it: the antidepressant I'm taking to help with my anxiety. I'm battling with myself as to whether to get off of it. I'm terrified that if I do... the really bad bouts of anxiety and depression I was having beforehand will come back. But I don't want to go on living with this fatigue, weight gain, and wonky metabolism. 
Do I have to pick between one and the other? Am I just going to be like this... for life?
The trauma I have gone through; yes, that is tiring, too. In a different way. It takes time, and emotional energy to work through when issues come up. Sometimes it takes even more time and energy when you don't know quite how to work through it. And yes, I have disrupted sleep lately... due to the current environment I just moved back into; the stress of the job I came back to, the person I'm living with. You might tell me "Just leave!" .... I wish I had the boldness to do so. But I am living in fear.
Yes, I agree, it's much more difficult to cope with everyday stressors when living on a lack of sleep. Yeesh. I am trying to practice mindfulness meditation, go on long walks on the beach. Today I am practicing yoga. I am trying to eat only healthy foods, too. I tried stopping caffeine but that was very difficult since I am not getting the best of sleep. So I am trying to limit caffeine, instead. Prayer... I don't typically pray (I do not have a religion and I do not believe in a "personal God"), but if anyone has any suggestions on how to pray given my beliefs (just stated), I'd welcome them, if it might help me to feel better. Writing... well, I'm keeping my online diary on here. I wish I was a hero and could conquer my stress, instead of chronically trying to reduce it... life seems stressful, and I wonder whether I'd be better served by letting myself develop into a stronger person, who could handle more stressors, rather than running from them in fear.
What if I give myself too low of limits? I often feel I am achieving too little. I do not achieve much at all, really. I do not have a career. I give up on my goals. No... stop. I said I was going to be positive.
I am stuck and I don't know how to proceed. I feel stuck, anyway. I don't see the next step toward where I want to be. It feels impossible. It feels like there is no path to where I want to go. It feels like I am just stuck here. Permanently. In this cycle, a cycle I don't like. How do I cross the bridge to the other side? The side where I am where I want to be?
Most of my days are downtime. I have a hard time getting things done. Geez... am I depressed? I don't know. I wasn't a couple of months ago. I'm certainly not happy being back here in LA, I keep telling myself it's temporary, but... can I handle it? And... why do I keep putting myself through temporary situations that hurt me so badly? I get lost inside them.... I have difficulty knowing whether I'm choosing to harm myself out of fear of moving on to something better (since it's unknown), or whether I'm trying to learn to be an adult and suck up difficult situations in order to move through them towards a goal.
Even though yesterday I was excited about my decision to move on in with my parents and visit with my family, and my new love interest and friend said he supported it and found it wise... Today the part of me I like to listen to feels that it's a decision out of fear and old family imprinting. (My dad has been "stuck" in a job and a city he hates for many years). I feel I would be happier if I was bold and risked... set out, tried something new. But I am so afraid my anxiety will take over; so afraid I might return to that dark place I was in a year ago. It was a very dark and scary place, and I needed help.
I have told all of my family I am coming now, and they are excited and counting on me. I have told everyone my plans. I keep changing my mind. Which I have every right to do, but I also feel afraid of what other people will think of me if I change my plans again. I am afraid because I want to change my mind. I feel ashamed for not being able to make up my mind; for not sticking to one decision. But I don't feel confident about it. And I don't know how else to decide. I want to just leave. Pack up my stuff, and just... leave. But that isn't the responsible thing to do.
Is that, though, actually what I want to do?
What do I want?
