Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 19th September 2017
Ahoy my fellow sailors!
Its a nautical theme for today. In the words of the first verse of the very old hymn....
Will your anchor hold in the storms of life,When the clouds unfold their wings of strife.
When the strong tides lift and the cables strain. Will your anchor drift or firm remain."
Thinking of the storms we encounter,and more especially the storms of emotional flashbacks where at times we can feel totally at sea and overwhelmed by the intensity and their unrelenting nature. Like the sailors of old we are caught in a storm. This was a frequent experience on the old sailing ships and they knew what to do "Batten the hatches, and ride out the storm." It helps too if we have a plan and know what to do, because once we are in this storm we can't think any more, so to have some clear steps, perhaps written or on the phone. This can provide our anchor, our anchor to the present. Can recommend www;pete-walker/flashbackmanagement with his 13 steps as a guide.
Sometimes our anchor holds, our plan works, and we are able to breathe and ground ourselves, recognize what the trigger was and be aware of the thoughts and emotions that follow and maybe what the cry from the inner child was about. At other times this doesn't seem to work or be possible and its overwhelming and scary. This is when we have to ride it out, doing what we can,maybe reach out to another for support, and wait for it to pass. Knowing that it is an emotional flashback that comes with C-PTSD and that as it has done before, it will pass. And calmer waters will come.
How is the sailing today? Hope there's some smooth waters. But if its a bit more stormy, what anchors you? Any tips for riding out these storms. Something to celebrate? Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x
@rozie
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@rozie
Thank you for this link. I messaged it to my therapist and asked her if she would be willing to work through it with me, especially step #12 as pertains to an emotional flashback (pretty intense) that I experienced last week, out of my control (an old toxic friend messaged me out of the blue). I have bookmarked it and saved it into my resources online. I do not have a diagnosis of C-PTSD, (I have a diagnosis of GAD and moderate episode of major depression), but I've been wondering for some time if maybe I ought to.
Today, sailing is..... feeling choppy. It's gray, and cloudy. It's not completely overcast, there's some blue somewhat visible, but it's foggy near the ocean line far away, and there's no land in sight. Wow, I don't know what anchors me... I've never thought about that, before. I suppose my breath could. That's the only thing that makes sense.
I don't feel very celebratory. I feel... tired. A kind of tired that even sleeping through the night doesn't cure. I could be celebrating that I have been getting full nights of sleep.... but the thing is, I haven't been feeling rested or refreshed. So I don't really feel the desire to celebrate.
I'd love to hear if anyone else has any tips. Take care, hope there are some smooth sailing days out there.
- Singer
@rozie dont have anythng in place to help with any of this. Trigerred alot at work and because of heavy period and pain today. Nothing did helped. Ended up in tears in bathroom and sh a couple of times during the day.
Did what had to go on for late shift and discharging patients.
Pushing everyone away for their good. Hubby isnt good and irritable and has no patience with me which i understand. I cant hurt him any more.
Getting lower and lower and everythng closing in. Don't really have the strength to do this anymore.
@inventiveOrange1
Maybe he is irritable for reasons other than you ❤️ Maybe he has his own struggles going on? Hugs 💞🤗
@inventiveOrange1 ⛺❤️I'm sorry, Orange. Tight hugs. Please keep on swimming through the stormy waters.
@inventiveOrange1
Oh Orange, my heart goes out to you.We do get to places like this at times and its so hard. Its a time for kindness and patience with oneself, and going back to the basics... food ,sleep, exercise, breathing and mindfulness... and not having having too many expectations of yourself.In the work you do so well, you are caring for others,. But you need care too. We are here with you. x
Be patient and gentle with yourself! :)
Hello! So it was pretty rough week and I feel like I am loosing it all. Of course, I can joke and hide my emotions and tell that everything is fine, that I get over it and etc but I still remember it and remember it and remember it. What?
I remember that two days ago my dad basically said to me that I need to be raped. It wasn't what you think, it was sort out of a joke I assume but I don't think that anyone is allowed to joke in a things like these. And also, this topic, sexual abuse, is my real trigger and I never expected to hehar it from my own dad. So it put me on the panick attack at that night and I am feeling pretty down the whole week.... Thanks dad
@stuckintheworld
Oh that would be so upsetting for you.. and naturally its triggered and affected you.You didn't deserve this. So to be gentle and compassionate with yourself now, and get the support you need. Are you seeing a therapist, or have someone who understands and you can talk to. And we are here for you too. x
I try to reply on some forums, but I always find the over sensitive people and they don't work with my honesty. It is another reason why I am not a listener and I don't have many friends.
@Rebekahwriter13
Honesty is a great quality ☺️
@singercrystalspirit
Not with sensitive people.
@rozie
It was OK just luck of sleep...
@rozie
Hello, Rozie and everyone.
Like the nautical theme! <3 I'm reading that article by Pete Walker right now.
Sailing is a bit rough today, well...I guess choppy is the best way to put it. The sky is a dark gray, but with some glare from the sun so it appears murky and almost painful. But that doesn't mean the ship is going to capsize or get tossed about the waves to pieces.
There's a lot of strain on accomplishing my goals at college. Since I'm basically marathoning three classes in three months due to a schedule screw-up from my previous advisor and my school's unwillingness to do anything about it. I'm learning how to work and learn more effectively and manage my time... but sometimes during progress reports when I'm a little behind I'll lie about something for no good reason. Which just bothers the h*ll out of me! It's that old impulse that I'm gonna get some kind of abuse for the slightest falling below expectations. That avoidant part of me. Been working with my inner little girl from those times... letting her know it's okay- just be honest. That she won't get hurt, be without food, get screamed at and yelled at by some big crazy adult. For even merely making a mistake.
She needs me to walk hand in hand with her, and she's part of me. I cried earlier due to other reasons- mostly my home environment that I'm preparing to leave. I used to cry a lot, but I cry rarely nowadays. Very shortly. Other times I rarely cry in sobs and such. Mostly due to someone mentally unstable trying to abuse me until I stop which aggravated things. Slowly I'm getting more detached from the chaos and just working towards my future. I'm dealing with it, not just putting it aside like I used to. So, that's something.
@CaloenasNicobarica
Oh it sounds so lovely how you are walking hand in hand with your little girl and reassuring her. Its to be expected at times we go back into old behaviors/learned patterns, especially when under pressure. So to accept that this is okay, that we are only learning new ways and it takes time and patience. Its a challenging time for you, so self compassion and care... and so good to hear that you are heading towards your future.x
@rozie
Thanks, Rozie! *hug* :)
@rozie feel ok feel good then i feel sad :(
@Jesse9675
Hi Jesse, good to hear from you. Its often as you say, good and then sad... feelings come and feelings go... and if we can just sit with them then they will pass.Sadness can be part of greiving and grieving comes in healing from trauma. We are here with you. x
@rozie
Thank you for you Rozie! :D
@KatieMoon1
Thanks Katie! x
