Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Tuesday 25th September 2018
Hi Trauma family,
I am a bit late getting up/started today. Had one of those nights and body hurts so todays gardening is getting rescheduled. But this kinda got me wondering… How do you deal with bad days? Or days that dont go to plan?
Do you get frustrated at yourself? Do you get angry? Do you do self care? Do you get sad? Do you show yourself compassion???
A while back I came across a video about a lady who did a Ted talk about how she dealt with depression and her various illnesses and I was totally inspired to rethink my 'bad days'. If you want to have a listen you can find her here: https://youtu.be/njESlZa2b10
I also wanted to reference a post I made in the DID thread:
To get past the road block of decision making and second guessing myself (it is really tiring), I try to decide what I need to decide ahead of time.
What absolutely has to get done today?
Whatever that is I work out if I can 1. Ask for helpaka someone else does it or helps me do it. 2. Do it but with minimal effortaka if someone is coming over instead of cleaning the whole house I do a 30min spot clean and then I can go crawl back in my duvet tent or I might reschedule if possible.
If I dont do it today can I fit it in on another day this week without getting overtired?
I have a daily routine I follow so one day I do kitchen the next bathroom so if today is kitchen day I know I can double up kitchen and bathroom day without a lot more energy so Id leave the kitchen today.
How am I going to feed us?
On bad days I keep it simple or I know I wont eat. So cereal for breakie, leftovers or sandwich for lunch and dinner can either be, order in, something from the freezer, soup from a can or leftovers if I have enough for everyone.
So Im still taking care of myself/family but with minimal effort, and guilt about what I might be putting off until tomorrow or another day of the week. When it comes to tomorrow I do the same process until I am back on schedule. There is no point resting one day to kill yourself the next, be kind to yourself.
Tagging awesome people 
@InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007
*trigger warning*
im pretty bad honestly i dont treat myself nicely lately i guess i told my therapist how i feel she said it is sad how many times you have been victimized in your life i dont know what that means. i think it is like dealing with things that has happened..i dont know but i know i feel awful i bled my issues out last night
@Hope7879
Victimised means that someone singled you out to do something to you that they should not have done. It's not about you dealing with things, that is what your therapist should be helping you with. Did she give you some ideas for how to spot when people are trying to victimise you and protect yourself?
I'm sorry you feel awful, I think you are totally right to feel that way. I'm so sorry you don't have adults in your life that are able to protect you from these things. Big hugs
@LifeIsMyCanvas
its okay and no she isant teaching me, she is telling her supervisor to see if we have to tell my dad ... if so i plan to be dead by then ...because ive been thinking of it anyway...i am scared ....
@Hope7879
Oh hope. Please please don't let the lies steal your life. We cannot undo the bad past, but we can start to heal. How? Slowly. One day at a time. One minute at a time. I just want to encourage you to get help. Harming yourself is allowing those who have hurt you to win. You can decide today that enough is enough! You are worth SO much!!!! You deserve to heal and move forward in life. Be honest with your therapist, whoever, takes medicine, seek treatment, what it is you have to do. Again, I scream... YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH!!!!! I wish I could hug you in person. Just know I am praying for you and thinking of you. 🙂 You can overcome and heal. You are loved! ❤️❤️
@KLM3278
thank you so much love
@Hope7879
I agree with KLM, you are priceless! You are so worthy of love and care.
I deal with bad days by trying to prevent myself from getting self destructive. I find prevention easier than action on a bad day. I also talk to people and as that video says work out my priority.
If I am having a bad day then many things simply are not a priority. Get out of bed, feed the cats, don't drink, dont smoke, don't self harm, don't eat everything in the house. Watch some TV. Play a game. Make a nest/den. Shut the cats out the room. Bad days I just try to survive in the hope that tomorrow will be better :)
@Lilibuth12
Good job 
Me too!!!
@Lilibuth12
Some days we just have to survive. Im glad you are taking care to keep your self safe on those days.
@Lilibuth12 I do the same thing, and I know a lot of times it' very challenging and sometimes you feel like you could really use a hand. I hope you can keep the strength to continue this though because they are the times when you need to fight the most. I wish you the best on your journey, many hugs <3 
Well my lovelies, It's been dark here for a while and it's time for me to hit the snooze button and sleep.
Keep sharing and supporting each other, see you all soon
How do you deal with bad days? I listen to music or bake
Or days that don
@Rebekahwriter13
That sounds like nice things to do on a bad day. What do you like to bake?
@LoveFromSara cookies or brownies
@Rebekahwriter13
sounds yummy!
@LifeIsMyCanvas
Hello
On days when I wake up with bad thoughts then I stay in bed and go back to sleep until they go away so I don't act on them.
On days when I can't find a reason to wake up I try hard to find one and eventually I do wake up. Sometimes to drink coffee or eat something hoping it'll help. or Listen to motivating music or travel vlogs to inspire me.
On days when I know I have to get up but do not want to I speak to myself gently and encourage myself. Or I think about that one coach who always yelled at me and I guess it disciplines me to get up.
I guess I need to plan more now prior to doing things or sleeping because my mind doesn't recall things as easily anymore or seem to blank out all the time now.
@humorousBeing8966
Hi Being, thanks for sharing. I think you have some good ways to help your self through bad days. Getting cofee or putting on music can give you a nice reason to get out of bed.
The days you dont want to go up but have to are really hard, when the best self care would be to just stay in bed but you cant, so you just have to find any way to get up. I hope you dont have to many of them.
Im sorry to hear about you memory, hope you can find good ways to work around it
@LoveFromSara
I'm able to journal again since today is a good day.... Just writing down what I should have written down long ago so I can finally address it when I see my therapist next time....Maybe that will help...
@humorousBeing8966
Yay for having a good day. I hope the journaling will help you.
@humorousBeing8966
I really hope it helps, good on you for being brave and journalling