Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 30th January 2018
Hi everyone!
And a warm welcome to you .. glad you could join us here.A simple quote from A.A. Milne : "Friendship," said Christopher Robin,":is a very comforting thing to have."
To reach out to another, to extend the hand of friendship, to say "I understand" may mean more than we will ever know. You may recall a significant time when someone reached out to you like this, and the impact that this had.
But we may feel that we don't have the right words, we're not eloquent enough. Or we do not have the answers to the problem or the solution for the situation.Or it all sounds a bit too negative, and we wish there were some positives to reply with.Suggesting that's its ok, and it may be even better.... to simply respond in a way that gives comfort. That says I hear you, I have empathy for you. I wiill sit here with you.For trauma survivors there are tough times to go through, and that's when we need the comfort of someone with us.
How is your day going? How does feeling that comfort from another make a difference for you? Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place, x
@rozie
Hiya Rozie.. hope you are well,, (ha just realised i tend to check in every day lol).. Anywho this post resonates so well,, sometimes i feel my words are inadequate and that i am not saying the right things,, i so want to take the hurt of others away but sometimes get flustered because i second guess what i type.. I don't have anyone in my reality (besides my psychologist and doc) so i often times these days turn to 7cups and especially my diary because everyone here is always so amazing..
Anywho my night at work was fast paced, busy and super hot!! lol but it was a better night, putting that facade up helps.. I am a little stressed now though because i am trying to find clothes to wear tomorrow, i have this super strange thing where if i have an appointment with either my doc or psych i have to pick out clothes the night before and then i get really stressed if i can't find anything.. Also doesn't help that i find a fault in everything i'm wearing.. I don't know why i can't just get up in the morning and chuck some clothes on,, i never can just do that.. I'm rambling again.. Sending hugs and love out to all 
@calmLake1999
Hiya Calm, I'm doing well. Glad that you a have a place to come to here and your diary, and I know your words are often so good. Especailly in your poems. We do second guess ourselves and striving to get it right may well be from the old perfectionism of the inner critic.
Hoping the outfit got sorted, and thinking of you today. x
@rozie
Thanks rozie.. Feeling really anxious now sitting in the waiting room...HHaves bad habit of showing up to early which sets my anxiety off because than I have to sit and stress.. Just trying to take deep calming breaths but can feel my mind trying to quieten me which is frustrating ((sorry my spelling is a little off too anxious to fix anything) thank you for your support 💖💖
@rozie
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❤️⛺
@melliotm
Hi mellio -safe huggles for you- (if you need them)
@sensitiveShade5337 hi shade ☺️ thank you -- safe huggles to you as well ⛺
@melliotm
Thanks ☺️
@melliotm
How are you feeling today? What have you been up to?
@scarletPear1945 Hi Scarlet! I'm feeling relatively ok, thanks for asking. Sorry to hear that you're still battling that nasty flu bug.
Lately have kept myself occupied/distracted with reading, cleaned up around the house a bit, and spent some quality time with my little daughter the other day. Just trying my best to manage the added bonus of seasonal depression on top of my usual ongoing effects/symptoms. Never a dull moment when you're coping with C-PTSD, etc lol.
Hopeyou have a lovely day 😊⛺ ❤️
@melliotm
I appreciate you being here and I hope the depression lets up real soon. You take care of your self.
Now that your work is done, lets chill with a good cup of hot tea, prop your feet up and relax😘
@melliotm
I appreciate you being here and I hope the depression lets up real soon. You take care of your self.
Now that your work is done, lets chill with a good cup of hot tea, prop your feet up and relax😘
@scarletPear1945
sorry don't know why that posted twice
@rozie thank you .. i needed this today more than anything else...
I've never opened to any of my friends .. I just remain on the surface save for my hubby .
Maybe some day i will be able to sit and tell them parts of me.
But till then.. I'm.ready to be a listening ear for others.
@energeticPenny8
Glad that this was what you needed today Penny. I think some of us woudl relate to not being able to share with friends and others. Especially if we have learned to be silent, it isn't easy to find our voice. But as you say when you are ready... and for now i 'm sure your listening ear is much appreciated. x
@rozie
Hi Rozie and trauma folks. <3
This topic! I remember the last check-in with you I went on a tangent about how people don't really listen. Instead, wanting to fix you and how that can be frustrating. Ever since I mentioned that, it seems that fixers have come out of the woodwork at me. X_X; Well, exaggerating... But seriously. Even professionals sometimes don't get it. It can be frustrating. My new secondary counselor is that way. She's good for some things but is not exactly as mature as my psych.
I've heard of something called compassion burnout. When professionals who work with therapy environments get into a grind so to speak. One of the coolest methods I heard of dealing with this was someone buried a statue of Quan Yin, a goddess of compassion and mercy, in their garden and then unearthed it when they got to that point to remind themselves of those traits. A pretty cool idea! I'd worry about forgetting it or something, though... XD
@CaloenasNicobarica
Yes "compassion burnout" does happen. It can happen in Therapy Environments but also in Social Care Environments. I suppose any environment where you are constantly having to deal with the emotions of other people.
@CaloenasNicobarica
Yes i do remember how this was aired before, and your frustration with the "fixers" .. and now they're coming out of the woodwork! The tendency to want to make you feel better, do this and you will feel better, is all around us. and in professional circles too.
Dr Rachel Remen In "KItchen Table Wisdom" nicely summarizes the difference she sees between "servers" and :fixers" and "helpers." Servers being those who work alongside in an equal and collaborative way. She says : "Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred,that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve we know we belong to life and that purpose. When you help you see life as weak. When you fix you see life as broken. When you serve you see life whole."
@rozie
That's really interesting, Rozie! Wow...servers, fixers, and helpers. It's so intriguing that others have taken notice of it before. I'll have to look more into the good doctor's stuff. I love the way they phrased that. It fits so damn well.
I forgot to add: It seems like you're alone on an island with your observations sometimes, especially when dealing with trauma and the like. So it's refreshing when you hear that you're not the only one who's observed that kinda stuff or something. Blah, rambling.
@CaloenasNicobarica
Yes agree its intriguing. I haven't read her book but its had good press.. is stories of healing. Prompts me to get a copy.
Has anyone else been so depressed that it feels traumatic?
@Rebekahwriter13
Hi Rebekah, yes sometimes feeingings of depression can cause so much despair, fear, anxiety and suffering, that it might feel traumatic. How are you doing? are you okay? 💗
@Amandisa16
I'm stuck in with cold weather. Its hard to breath with the cvold air.
I'm in pain with endometrious and I'm waiting in an error from my insurance to see a doctor about.
My last therapist said they can not do anything until I get my health checked over to see if my depression is mental or caused by one of my health issues. I'm thinking of changing therapists.
I'm trying to write but my sleep apnea makes me tired all of the time.
I've learn lack of good sleep makes depression and anxiety and trama way worst than it is.
@rozie Hello, my day is going well. Having so many people here that I can relate to in some manner, and discuss these things with is extremely helpful to me. It's also nice to know there are many people here that will support me, and help me in any way that I need. I hope that I can also do the same for others on this site.
@FangsInsanity
Hello and a warm welcome to you! Glad you're finding that there is help and support here. We all have our good days and our struggle days, but we are here for each other. So you'll be able to help and support too. x
@FangsInsanity
That is so nice to hear, I feel the same way
Ive been really struggling with lack of focus and lack of motivation lately, but I had therapy today and I actually feel a lot better now! I have some good goals for the week, and I already started working on one, so I might actually get some stuff done this time!! 😁🙌🏻
@BeeLeigh
Good for you Bee! x
@rozie Hey how are you? Me, I'm doing alright today was fine. I am a big fan of the qoute that you posted from "Winnie the Pooh". The way that it makes me feel when someone reaches out a hand to me or comforts me, something along those lines is really good. It really makes me happy and a sense of peace and love from that person comes over me, I love when I get those emotions/feelings when someone reaches out to me mostly if it comes from my boyfriend George or my friend Damon, when this happens it can make a bad day better.
@MelanieDaniels63
Hi Melanie 😀, love this "Winnie the Poo" quote, wise words.
@Amandisa16 Thanks for the kind words and comment. Yea, I thought it was a perfect fit for what this post was talking about reaching out or how it makes you feel when someone reaches out to you. Have a great day/night!
@MelanieDaniels63
Hey Melanie I'm doing wel thanks. Love the Winnie the Pooh GIFs! That timeless and lovable bear.
Good to hear you're doing alright. Yes the reaching out and comfort that brings the sense of peace to you is such a blessing. x
@rozie Thanks! Have a great day/night.
@rozie
Hi Rozie
It is an awesome thing when people that don't know you support and give you kind words. For no one knows if the other has anyone to help them along this hard journey. I am one who has no other support system and it has been so encouraging to have this community to reach out to me. I appreciate everyone here. I live in the country and nothing but cattle and a few houses. All we do is wave at each other. I have no social life. My husband is an introvert we don't talk to one another very much. So I Love this Family
@scarletPear1945 love you too Scarlet. We all have a bond. Family.
@PerfectStorm426
How are you Storm? You are a very sweet Lady😇
@scarletPear1945 ha, i needed that laugh....explaination....I aint a lady 😳
i am surviving. Found out my friend was not in the crash monday morning at about 1 oclock today from the newspaper. So i am relieved. But still in deep sadness. Me and her should not be like this. I shoulda paid better attention. I should have seen and listened more. I am ramblin. Sorry. But thankful it wasnt her in the crash. Switch flipped from anxiety to depression i guess.
@PerfectStorm426
Yes we do and good to have you here with us! x
@rozie. Thank you rozie
@scarletPear1945
We love you too Scarlet 💗💗💗, and thank you for being apart of our trauma family.
@Amandisa16
Thank you for letting me be apart of this community💖
@rozie
Hi I was so low that came to negative eneergy
@conscientiousPineapple1782
How r are you feeling today? hope energy in higher
@scarletPear1945
yes it is but still fail cos I am a bit adicted to perfection
@conscientiousPineapple1782
Hello, hope you are fine today.
I am the same way I was taught to be a perfectionist and it is hard to maintain that level of excellence. That trait has caused me a lot of headaches.🤩