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Traumatic Experiences Community Weekend Chill July 20th- 22nd 2018

User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth July 20th, 2018

Good Morning Survivors! I apologise for my late start, been working a project that had me working through the nite. what a strange and wonderful morning we have here today. It is sunny out, yet there is great thunder. As my mind is really blank today after I got done with my morning prayers, I have been just watching and listening to the world. I've was sitting outside looking at a beautiful sunrise to the east, whilst darkness and roaring skies loom to the west. Edge of a storm gotta be somewhere I suppose. Many get uneasy or even scared of thunder and lightening, my people know it as Thor fighting to protect this realm from invaders and we cheer the sounds and flashes. As I sit with this beautiful morning, my mind is drifting to remember some of the great storms I have witnessed and reveled in. I have been in a cave on the edge of the sea with my brother and friends as furious waves crashed the rocks around us and shook the earth in the darkness alle night. I have awoken on mountain tops to look over the edge and see a lightening storm from above, what a sight to behold. I have been trapped indoors by snow that lasted literally for weeks. I remember having to climb out the 2nd floor window, to dig down to the front door, then took 2 days to tunnel to the road. Once I was surfing on a beautiful sunny day. This dark line appeared on the horizon, minutes later the waves went flat, and the aer took on a strange feeling. The sky greyed, and there was this strange hum, then suddenly there was like this strange silver glow around us. There was like 12 of us sitting on our boards floating, and we were looking at each other in wonder. Then there was a crackle in the sky, and the rain began to pour down on us. We raised our arms and alle screamed to the heavens. Just then the waves came back, and it turned into one of the most incredible days of surfing ever!

Storms always come. They can ruin our plans, give us extra work to do, and they certainly can frighten us. The thing is tho, that they always pass, an when they do, the world is cleaner and refreshed. Just a bit of wind, lightening and rain, it's just the worlds way of cleaning itself. "Unto us alle a little rain must fall". (LedZeppelin)

So what it is, what it was, what's happening folks? Come! Speak of your world, or just say hi. The world is yours!

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User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

Good Morning alle. Another still morning here in overcast land lol (rainy weekend, it's nice). Thank You @rozie and @DaisyLion for your kind words, and being here by our sides. Somedays I totally just don't wanna get out of bed lol

well ok I was already out of bed, then I got bak innit lol.

Either way folks Good morning/day/evening, I'm here if anione needs me.

5 replies
User Profile: LifeIsMyCanvas
LifeIsMyCanvas July 22nd, 2018

@Raveninthelabrynth

We always need our Raven! I also got up an went back to bed. Am mostly awake now, made hubby put the fan on me and bring me caffine before he ran out the door laughyes.

4 replies
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@LifeIsMyCanvas Ooh, how doyou get them to do that? lol

Morning hon Hugs smiley

3 replies
User Profile: LifeIsMyCanvas
LifeIsMyCanvas July 22nd, 2018

@Raveninthelabrynth

Raven I do that for hubby every single day when he gets home from work. I put him on the sofa, turn on the fan, give him a pillow and get him a drink.

Then I wait like 1 hr and go back in the lounge and have him stare at me with his puppy eyes and see him patting his belly saying what's for dinner im hungry.

So I figured today I wanted the wifey treatment so i parked myself on the sofa and declared ' i want the wifey treatment' to which he said 'what's that' ... honestly would have slapped him if it didn't mean getting up. LOL

Just for that I will do the puppy eyes and belly patting when he returns mwhahahaha laugh

2 replies
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@LifeIsMyCanvas Lmbo that's awesome hon

User Profile: rozie
rozie July 23rd, 2018

@LifeIsMyCanvas

Good for you canvas.. love it! x

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User Profile: singercrystalspirit
singercrystalspirit July 22nd, 2018

Good moooooorning smileysmileysmiley

I had odd dreams about my abusive situation... I don't mind it so much, I know it's just my brain trying to sort stuff out. I dreamnt about one character in particular, and I kind of wonder why... but I don't wonder why enough to dream journal about it right now lol.

I'm also having interesting thoughts about moving across the country... I will build a home wherever I'm at.... I'm already AT a place and have been building it into a home.... it's not a great fit for me, that's true, where I'm at now..... I do want to go the place I'm planning on moving, that's true..... I've been meeting several people lately who have been telling me that they are working on building up the place we are right now, and they are working on creating their own communities here, some of them are other transplants like me, and some of them are from this area. All right, one of them is a transplant like me, and the other two are from more of this area. That just doesn't sound like my path... I wonder why I keep meeting more and more people like that? Well, maybe it's probability -- I have been meeting a lot of people in general. But it's making me think. What am I moving for? I am following my heart's call. It's honestly, and literally, as simple as that. It's scary, because what if I get hurt?

But at times like these, I like a quote by Helen Keller to inspire me: "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

Those are my thoughts. More in my diary. Today I have the day off work (not working so much on the weekends anymore - hooray!), which means plenty of time to get to work on my long to-do list. Lots to do. xo

- Spirit

4 replies
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@singercrystalspirit Always scary yet exciting to be a free spirit and face the unknown. Keeps life from getting stale.

Glad you were ok with the venting dreams hon. Yep they suck, but there ye go. Hope you find your way and go for it. smiley

3 replies
User Profile: singercrystalspirit
singercrystalspirit July 22nd, 2018

@Raveninthelabrynth

heartlaugh sparkle sparkle sparkle (on laptop no good emojis lol)

2 replies
User Profile: LifeIsMyCanvas
LifeIsMyCanvas July 22nd, 2018

@singercrystalspirit

1 reply
User Profile: singercrystalspirit
singercrystalspirit July 22nd, 2018

@LifeIsMyCanvas

LOL awesome laughyes

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User Profile: Tenacity37
Tenacity37 July 22nd, 2018

@LoveFromSara

You don't seem scary and I like the fortress you and shade made

7 replies
User Profile: Tenacity37
Tenacity37 July 22nd, 2018

This is so I notice my post when scrolling

Something really bad happened and I wanted to relapse but didn't.

My old pastor is on long service leave and the interim pastor doesn't know how to care and I had had enough, I was going to leave in the foreseeable future anyway, but this interim pastor couldn't give a rats about me, and consistently disrespected me and ignored my boundaries, casting me aside, treating me like crap and giving me empty promises.

When I told him that I was leaving he told other people neglecting to tell me that he told anyone else, and we agreed that my farewell would be yesterday and he neglected to tell me that it wasn't going to happen, the people he told had gotten together and changed their minds.

*goes and hides away from the world crying softly*

5 replies
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@Tenacity37 Hej Tenacity I'm sorry to hear this happened. Perhaps you can speak with him privately about that sometyme?

Aniways I wish better times for you hon. An nice lookin cookies smiley

3 replies
User Profile: Tenacity37
Tenacity37 July 22nd, 2018

@Raveninthelabrynth

They're not cookies, it's fairy bread

2 replies
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@Tenacity37 I'm sorry, thank you for the correction smiley

User Profile: rozie
rozie July 23rd, 2018

@Tenacity37

Love the fairy bread! x

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User Profile: LoveFromSara
LoveFromSara July 23rd, 2018

@Tenacity37

Hi again Tenacity,

This sounds really though and sad, im so sorry the interim pastor treated you like this.

And im sorry you are not getting a proper goodbye, 7 years is a long time, it desrves a proper appreciation and aknowledgment and a happy send off, you deserve that.

Im really glad you didnt relapse though, thats kind of impressive actually, with so much going on.

Hope to be seeing more of you - this is a safe place for comfort, care and safe hiding - and for eating fairy bread of course, they looked really pretty.

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User Profile: LoveFromSara
LoveFromSara July 23rd, 2018

@Tenacity37

Hi Tenacity

Thank you, that warmed my heart. I try my best, I am scared a lot, so I dont want to inflict that on others.

Im glad you liked the fort. Have you ever made one? Or a tree hut? Or maybe a snow cave?

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User Profile: Torremp
Torremp July 22nd, 2018

Mood.

Happy Sunday y'all.

2 replies
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@Torremp Hej Tor, Thanks hon, nice bunnie :)

User Profile: rozie
rozie July 23rd, 2018

@Torremp

Thanks Tor! I keep going back to watch this bunny.. so funny and like a magnet.. will just watch it one more time. x

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User Profile: FloweringBunny
FloweringBunny July 22nd, 2018

I blurted out "I have PTSD" to a friend the other day. I was panicking and upset and crying. I have never said it out loud before. I am scared what he thinks, he didn't say anything. We were in a tiny village in Snowdonia, I had walked away from my friends because the car journey there was awful for me, I was terrified and had a panic attack in the car, and flashbacks of crashing and aftermath, and kept telling the friend driving to slow down and was told to "stop being a pussy". My partner followed me and then my friend (not the driver), I blurted it out though tears and then my friend walked back to the others. I feel so vulnerable. He knows something so personal about me, and it has just been ignored as if I never said anything. I wish I could take it back. crying

1 reply
User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 22nd, 2018

@FloweringBunny aww Bunny m sorry you had a rough journey. It alle may have come out wrong, and blended with everyone elses stress, but I am sure they understand. Perhaps it make more sense to them now. Not a mistake hon, just another tricky day

User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 July 23rd, 2018

@FloweringBunny

Oh Bunny I'm sorry. That must feel scary for you. Do you think you could talk to him about it? He might not really know what it is?

I'm sorry your feeling vulnerable and like what you shared didn't matter. Because it DOES matter! You matter! Today you shared your voice and that is important. Don't regret what happened! Because you are strong!!!!!

Here is a safe hug for you if you want one ❤️🤗

User Profile: FloweringBunny
FloweringBunny July 23rd, 2018

@Raveninthelabrynth @KLM3278 @wizeakre @DaisyLion

Thank you all for your kind words heart I will try to talk to my friend when I see him again, I realise it was probably a shock for him for me to say that.

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User Profile: Raveninthelabrynth
Raveninthelabrynth OP July 23rd, 2018

Yep... Time again for me to say farewell for today.

Much Love Alle, may you alle find comfort tonite

*Raven bows and flys away

1 reply
User Profile: rozie
rozie July 23rd, 2018

@Raveninthelabrynth

Farewell to you dear Raven... may you rest well. What an amazing sky.. don't think I've ever seen such intense colours... beautiful. x

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User Profile: Npepsicola
Npepsicola July 23rd, 2018

SH urges got the best of me today. When will this end..

1 reply
User Profile: rozie
rozie July 23rd, 2018

@Npepsicola

Yeah Pepsi, , this can happen, and it can seem like it will never end, no matter how we work at it. It is just how it is at this moment. And then as Avaray said: "let me try again."

And in the words of the quote below.. "Breathe and trust you can survive this too. Trust that this struggle is part of the process. And trust as long as you don't give up and keep pushing forward,no matter how hopeless things seem, you will make it." We're here with you. x

1 reply
User Profile: Npepsicola
Npepsicola July 23rd, 2018

@rozie

Thank you <3

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User Profile: LoveFromSara
LoveFromSara July 23rd, 2018

@Npepsicola

As Rozie said, it can happen, relaps is part of the process, but as we keep healing we will find it happen less and less. Know that this does not make you a lesser person, it does not make you less deservant of love and healing and hapiness and it does not make you worth less.

We are here, and we care, and we are here to support you.

2 replies
User Profile: Npepsicola
Npepsicola July 23rd, 2018

@LoveFromSara

I feel like a failure. Like i cant get this right no matter how hard i try.

1 reply
User Profile: LoveFromSara
LoveFromSara July 23rd, 2018

@Npepsicola

Im so sorry, sadly with the relapse and everything else going on its so often find our self feeling like a falioure, but you are not Pepsi. No body gets it right all the time, we make plenty of mistakes, we just got to keep trying and eventually it will get easier and we will get it right more and more often often.

With your old coping mechanisms gone fighting the urges gets so much harder, so you need to see if you can find your self new ones. It might take some tries, only a few lucky ones gets it right the first time. Some times we have to use more than one alternative at once, and some times what worked the last time wont work this time, its a trial and error thing, really, and there is no shame in that

Here are some links about SH and alternatives that might be helpful. *trigger warning* - mentioning of methods for SH

- https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/alternatives-to-self-harm-self-injury

- https://www.adolescentselfinjuryfoundation.com/things-to-do-besides-self-harm

- https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm

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