Abusive "stepmom"
Hi, this is my first post on here so sorry it it comes out as confusing,
My biological mom was very abusive. She left due to a court order when i was 15. I
Although I never had to deal with this, nor did I know someone in real life that had to deal with this, but all I can say is please stay strong, if you've went past all that was before this, then I'm sure you can go on.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm sure someone on the forums can relate to your story. Your strength is inspirational, I couldn't imagine having my parents put me through the same things. I hope everything gets better <3
@dynamicNest7316
My dear friend, I am really so very sorry to hear that your living situation currently is not a very healthy environment to be brought up in, and I'm actually rather concerned that this arrangement is going to have an impact in your future relationships and self confidence.
I thank you very much for sharing your story here and reaching out to others, I know this can be very hard, and I'm wondering if your have another family member you can turn to? Or if In fact if you are able to speak with your doctor due to this having an impact in your health right now.
Im afraid to say but it appears to be that your step mom is having troubles bonding with you, and because of this, she is now being resentful because she may see you as a threat to her relationship. She is completely In the wrong, not you, she is the adult, and she is the one who should be accepting of new family members into her life. you have certainly done nothing wrong!!
I admire you for standing your ground, and demonstrating you are indeed the more mature person by "keeping the peace" however, having said that you really should not have to do that in your home environment. Is it worth writing your dad a letter regarding your feelings and emotions?
I wish you the very bet of luck, and I hope hour situation turns around soon! Take care, and stay strong x
Hi @dynamicnest7316 !
After reading your story it seems that you have been struggling since a long time and it has started to affect you emotionally and psychologically. You have been quite resilient and you have tried your best to deal with the situation. You have , however not run out of all the options and I hope you keep looking for better ways to resolve this situation.
Its definitely difficult to put up with a person who treats you in a inhumane manner via reminding you about your past and basically putting you down . It would be good if you could somehow separate yourself from the situation or create some distance to maintain your own well being.
More importantly I would like to thank you for sharing your story with us. It not only inspires us to be as brave as you are but also reminds all of us that each person who is in a similar situation is not alone in their struggle. And neither are you.
@Apple74 thank you that means a lot. sometimes its hard to see myself as someone who is brave when things feel like they're moving backwards. I'm struggling with ways that i can remove myself from this toxic enviornment. I'm a student who is being supported by my dad. my school is 15 minutes away so moving out isn't really a logical option. If you have any ideas please share them with me.
again thank you everyone for your kind words <3
My ex boyfriend bullied my daughter, mostly it was when i was at work but when i was at home sadly i did take his side for a while as i couldnt see what was going on right under my nose. My daughter who was 14 at the time spoke to her guidance teacher at school who called me in tor a meeting. This is when i realised the way he was treating my daughter was unacceptable. Sometimes parents get things wrong as i did, bf left and all well now. Could you try something similair?
@pinkpalpark
Hi there,
You are absolutely right, us parents don't always get things right, unfortunately children don't come with an instruction booklet, and it's very much a game of trial, error and reflection!
Im am so glad you managed to get things sorted out with your daughter and all is well now, I think it's only human that we can't always see what is right in front of us, but the beauty of that is, once we do see, there is no hesitation to correct it.
Well done sweetheart
Take care x
dynamicNest7316
Hello there, I was just wondering how things have been for you the last few days?
Im hoping things have been a little easier for you.
Take care, and don't hesitate to get in touch x
Hi everyone. Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. Since posting this things got worse, and then better and worse again.
Shortly after posting this, my little sister confronted my dad about how she was feeling and what her thoughts have been. My dad basically said she's not leaving and if you hate it here so much we can find somewhere else for you to go. My sister (being only 12) was devastated and now wants nothing more than to go live with my (extremely) abusive mom. I talked to my dad about it and i asked him why his girlfriend was ignoring me. That opened a huge can of worms. I was crying, he was yelling. But through all this i noticed some key things that he said.
1. Without her (my dads girlfriend) around we can't afford to stay where we are.
this tells me that a huge piece of this relationship is about money. and unfortunately money makes relationships tricky and i think my dad is using her in order for us to live where we do in the midst of financial separation.
2. Every time i tried to express my struggles and my feelings he'd say something like "well (her name) just cried herself to sleep so you're not the only one that's upset."
Obviously, this is something i don't want to hear when I'm falling apart.
and finally
3. he brought it all back to my past mental health issues saying if I hadn't stopped therapy this wouldn't have happened.
Just to be clear, when I stopped therapy it was because I turned 18 and my therapist only really worked with youth. Scheduling appointments became an issue and I didn't feel like it was the time in my life where I was ready to talk about my mom.
After all that, I tried to make an effort to say hi to her to say hi to her, spend time with her, smile at her, to make my dad happy.It's still very uncomfortable because we haven't actually talked to each other about what was going on the last few months. So when we are alone together it's uncomfortable and I find myself quickly swinging between I can handle this, and, I don't know how much more of her I can handle right now. So that's where I am right now.
And my little sister ended up having a break down shortly after that. Basically my dad's girlfriend's daughter is really close with my little sister and she started saying some pretty concerning things related to self harm and my little sister told my dad's girlfriend and then she got yelled at by my dad
