Emotionally abused by parents, still trying to understand it
My therapists have said that I was emotionally abused by my mother, and I still have a hard time considering her actions abuse, but things keep coming back that make me think maybe it was abuse. She yelled a lot about everything and the worst part I remembered in the past year was that I used to see her as two separate beings, one was my mom, and the other was a monster with eyes that were always filled with rage, that would just stare right through you as she yelled. I'm 29, and only realized a year ago when it happened again - that I saw her as the angry one - that I realized I had mentally split her into two beings a long time ago. For some reason I can not move past this. I am not sure if anyone here knows what I am talking about. I feel like I can't trust anyone ever and I've had therapists say it's because I couldn't trust my mom. I want to get past it and be able to have healthy relationships with people but I can't seem to do that. Can anyone relate?
Pbd I'm sorry to tell u that you seem like you donnow what we are talking about. And ONLY a person who lived horrible events like us know what we are describing and know how ur mom can be a monster at the same time. U seem fortunate to have a good mom and we are not talking about usual shouting and yelling for not doing homeworks!!!! We are talking about real abuse here and appreciate if u can respect that. We are talking like when u get bruses that lasted for week only bcuz u gave ur mom a look that she didn't like at the moment. We are talking about getting bited by ur angel mom only bcuz ur eating shewing gum. Or getting pulled by your hair that even dozen of panadol pills wont let the headache go away only bcuz u said no to her for something silly. I'm talking about my angel mom who didn't respect my body and that I was too shy to take my close off infront of her and her solution was to get me naked by force and hit me all over ur body where no clothes can make the hits lighter!!!! I hope u got now what we are talking about. How this scars will never leave u and will effect u to death !
These events which was going on daily would leave u thinking that no matter what u do u r a bad person and worthless and ur opinion doesn't matter and u have no rights and u were born to be abused only and u let ur friends abuse u and ur partner bcuz u have no confidence and bcuz this is how u were raised and every one who meets ur mom think she is nice person and she would never do horrible things like that and they would call her an angel like u did!!!! I mean who knows what ppl turn to once they have a closed doors and a small children to control! !!!!
I agree with a lot of that if you haven't been through it there is no way you would know, and politecup that sucks you went through that how have you been handling it
Thanks for asking night, i have chosen food to comfort me and i have binge eating disorder and i'm trying too hardto get rid of it, 7 cups has helped me a lot as i have never shared anything in my real life but here i have opened up to few listeners and in forums a lot, i have seen a therapist also and took anti depressant but nothing worked well, im trying now hypnotherapy hoping it will work, my mom is pushing me so badly to do gastric bypass bcuz i'm very obese but i don't want to. i didn't loose hope in normal ways yet
Ah well its good your getting help, I know it isn't easy but keep at it, I didn't have the kind of help you had I had to work and think my way through my depression and guilt and anger all I have left to deal with is the loneliness so keep at it and you will make it
Thanks night , i just wanted to add that this help i seached for recently only in few months back as i have lost 50 kgs and gained it all back and then i realised that it's not about the food and it's about the hidden feelings inside me for years, i feel so lonely sometimes and so blue and so weird bcuz i'm too fat and ppl can't help but to look at you in strange way! i really hope to reach that peace and i'm so glad you did, i guess living with my parents will make things worse as i feel the only way to get rid of my mom is by me or her dying,and i'm sorry you are feeling lonely and you didn't have much help, you are so strong and i'm glad that someone understand how i feel
Just don't give up, keep at and set goals when you reach a goal add a new goal,, make small goals that will lead you to a big goal so you never falter, small goals are just as important as a big goals that's how is did it, I sat down one day and wrote down my list of what I need to do to move on with my life
Thank you very much for encouriging me
You very welcome I'm glad I could