Emotionally abused ex left me...help
Does anyone else flip-flop between being hurt from the realisation that your ex emotionally abused to getting mad at yourself thinking that you're overexaggerating? Even though you're physically and mentally struggling way more than any other break up? I'm struggling coming to terms with it. I've had 2 therapists tell me I was emotionally abused. I can acknowledge that he was gaslighting me, but can't accept it was on purpose most of the time etc... Also, I can only find things online about the abuser being left, not being the one to break up with the other person. I was so miserable but was so addicted to the cycle of wanting to be there for him and try to prove that I'm enough. I would never have left him because I excused his behaviour as symptoms of anxiety and weird way of showing he cares... Also he moved on publicly within 3 days of breaking up, a day before I came out of hospital.... i have blocked him but cant stop looking from time to time. I'm struggling so hard and I'm just curious how anyone else had gotten over it. I always thought I'd be the one to leave because I tried to do everything and be everything for him while he offered EXTREMELY little and I loved him irregardless.
@patientPear3978
Hey there ❤️ To be honest, this is a pretty common situation that people find themselves in when they've been in a very unbalanced relationship. Whether or not he intentionally emotioned abused you, the fact is that he put in much less heart and effort into this relationship than you did, and that likely really affected you. It's also normal to want to defend the other person and the relationship, especially since we all want to believe that they ultimately cared about us
But that doesn't change the way he actually treated you. I'm sure he has many good qualities, but he is still in control of every one of his actions. I'm sorry to say that if the imbalance was as great as you say, there's a very good chance that he noticed it. He likely knew exactly what he was doing, and he did it anyway. I can't tell you why some people behave this way, but I want you to know that there are many people out there who will commit to treating you better. There are many people out there who are like you and will happily work for the relationship
Your happiness doesn't have to be defined by one person. You are your own person and your life is in your hands. You're worth the same whether or not someone else says so. You're amazing just the way you already are, and it's also up to you to eventually move on. My hope is for you to love yourself enough to recognise that you deserve to be treated as an equal and cherished as a friend and partner. I hope this helped ❤️ Take care ❤️
@patientPear3978 im new to this site to figure out if im STILL being emotionally abused. and same thing, i can agree that he definitely used gaslighting as a tactic, but it hurts and is scary to think that he did it on purpose. im not sure what will come out of my situation, im at square one right now trying to figure this out. but you're not alone in your feelings. i usually feel angry, guilty and ashamed on most days (since i realized what was happening). im sorry that someone did that to you. its cruel and crappy. i hope you bounce back and make it out ok. im rooting for you. hope this helps.