Family isn’t always trustful Tw//

I was 7-8 years old when I would visit my grandmas house daily. My uncle and aunt lived there so did my grandpa and grandma obviously.

my uncle he was going through anger issues ptsd and alcohol addictions. Obviously me being a kid he was very violent around everyone, breaking tables, mirrors, chandeliers once went to destroy an entire room. My grandma was going through one hell of depression because of this.

obviously there was a lot of arguments between my mom and uncle and for some reason we never stopped going, growing up now I could see my grandma and aunt couldn’t be left alone, my mom being the oldest sister and my uncle being the youngest, she knew him better than anyone and loved him dearly and was here to look out for her family.

Sadly my uncle wasn’t the kindest towards me, he’d insult me, break stuff in front of me tell me literal stories of how he was fighting men at night while drunk leaving him with black eyes, broken arms etc.

Things took a bad turn when we started watching movies together. He would show me graphic violence in movies when I was only 7, even sex scenes that were graphic on tv. He didn’t bother to even teach me about sex Ed just showed me graphic sex films that would leave me awake at night imagining stuff I shouldn’t be thinking about at such a young age.

soon enough he would take me to his room and let me

play with his makeup which was fun, he didn’t do anything wrong there but my mom was furious when she found out I was going up there with him. She said in front of me when I was now 8-9 that he had sex toys scattered around the room that I shouldn’t be looking at. Unfortunately even at 8 I was fully aware what sex was and what sex toys were because of him, my uncle.

a normal 8 year old should know that sex is how babies are made and how condoms are protections! Not how sex toys look and p*rn and graphic sex on tv.

and 100% should a 7 year old be imagining graphic scenes in her head before sleep every night thinking extremely weird things that aren’t normal in normal sexual intercourses and no child should witness a grown up breaking things and being violent and coming home with scars and bruises while telling a little kid in detail how he got them in a fight.

i wouldn’t say this traumatized me but it left me with a permanent scar because I grew up and when I was 13-14 I was emotionally abused by an older guy who groomed me emotionally. And I used sex to cope which isn’t the healthiest way to deal with trauma.

thanks for reading! I am fine now, still coping with many things going on. Trust me however I am healthy and have a great clean streak <3