Feeling numb to relationships
Hi, I'm 19 and originally came from a abusive household. My father was a severe alcoholic, horrible temper, and was emotionally abusive. Unfortunately he wasn't the only male figure in my life or family member to emotionally torment me growing up. I've come a long way emotionally and mentally since my parents divorced. I've learned to better control my anxieties over the years but have always struggled with trusting people and feeling emotionally numb. As I'm become an adult I've been trying to break these habits and get out of my comfort zone little by little. Eventually I always feel like I'm running in circles within myself trying to find confidence and not let my doubts or fear take hold. Recently I've been trying get into the dating world. I've never been in a relationship before and I'm struggling with letting someone into my life. I been think about talking to a guy I went to school and even prom with. Recently I found him on tinder and saw the he swiped right on me. We weren't friends or anything back in highschool but I know he's a nice guy and I want to try giving him a chance. How can I get myself to allow someone into my life without feeling emotionally numb. I'm tried of allowing myself to feel this way and I want to be able to trust again. Any advice?
Hi @Country3262. I'm so sorry that you've had a rough life dealing with emotionally abusive family members. Trusting people can certainly be tough when you've had to deal with some real shitheads in your life, but it can be done. I think the key thing I've learned in regards to trusting people is understanding that it's okay to not know whether or not someone is trustworthy at first. So what u should focus on initially doing is taking the leap of faith in regards to getting to know them and inviting them into your life. The trust part will naturally come later. Also, I think it's important to not worry about the things u cannot control like whether or not people let u down/ become untrustworthy, and focus on working on the things you can control like not letting the toxic behaviors of others bring u down. If someone ends up letting u down, u can still choose to not let it bother u and continue to try to find people who are worth having in your life. If u look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all u will ever see. Ultimately, all we ever can do is focus on what we can control with how we choose to react and make decisions, since how others choose to behave is out of our control. Hope this helps and all the best! You can do this.
