How do I move past the past?

Hello Marionette94,

You are obvioulsy talking about tremendously tough feelings, I think that it wasextremely courageous to come and share here about so horrible things.

You seem to be in great pain, if you feel thatyou would like to share more andtalk with no fear of being judged in any way, please just send me a private message, even if I am in the middle of exams until end of June, I always check my messages and will answer you as soon as possible (usually no more than a few days later).

I wish you to find your way towards your healing path, I actually believe that you are in the right way towards it, as I take it as a really positive thing that youhave found the courage to come here and share the way you did.

Please take great and gentle care,

Gilles

I've always found it's important to learn that it's not my fault. It doesn't matter how long it takes. That's always my first step.

Hi Marionette94,

I answer here because I think this could help others too.

I know how do you feel because I am in the case as you. I know it is really difficult to cope with this but I think you are in the good pathway, you spoke about it. It is already a lot.

By experience, the friends are not the best one to speak about this kind of things. Most of them, even if they are your friends and they care about you,they don't really understand how do you feel, they are clumsy when they want to help and sometimes say things that are really far away from helping. They have a lot of clichesabout it and are not necesarlyhelping. You can also understand that sometimes It is also difficult for someone to see someone they love suffer, and can't deal with their own emotions and it is why they are acting clumsy or "like they don't care", they do care about you, they just don't know how.

What really helped me indeed was speaking to a profesionalabout it. They know how to react and how to help you the best. You can also speak to someone that also lived the same trauma, helped me as well.

One consequence of this, unfortunately, is that you don't have any consideration for yourself, and it is really difficult to think that the others have some too. I am really used to ruin my relationships because of that, I don't trust people because I feel like I don't deserve it. Time will help you. Don't hate yourself for not curing right now. You can't. Just accept your emotions, your sadness for now.

Some few things that can help you :

- Do some positive things for yourself everyday : things that you like to do, hobbies, things like that.

- Every time you have bad thoughts or that you feel down, don't feel guilty, it is normal to feel like that sometimes, embrace your feelings, don't push them away. If you need to cry, just cry, it will feel better...

- Stay positive, it is not a fatality, I know it is difficult, but there is hope, you will feel better. You know sometimes when I feel bad, I wish I never spoke about it and I forget it, because it dug up all the s***** that was burried deep down, but when I look all I went through since then, and the pathway I took, I realisethat I am a better person now, and even if it is still difficult to cope with emotions, with relationships, I will be better every day that passes.

- You're still really young, you have the whole life in front of you to cope with that. Don't put yourself some pressure and let time do its work.

If you want to speak with me in private, don't hesitate.

Marion

Hi, I know exactly what you are going through as I have been through an experience just like you have. I am 37 years old and I have never had sex as a result of what happened to me. It happened when I was a child, a friend of the family touched me and to this day I can't even talk about it. If any guy seems interested in me in anyway, I completely freeze up. It doesn't matter if their interest isn't even romantically. The thought of anyone touching me in anyway terrifies me to death. My family never even talk about it, they acted like it never even happened in the first place. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Hi Everyone

I'm glad I made it into this community, and also stumbled across this post.

I have been dealing with the ramifications of my past traumatic experiences for a long time. For most of that time, I have been trying to hold things together until everything amounted to a total breakdown and I can't even handle moving myself. I was in second year university at the time, and lived with abusive roommates which exacerbated my situation.

A year and a half later, I am now still dealing with the impacts of my traumatic experiences. I have tried various methods, but still feel myself lost. One method, however, I do find to be quite useful which is called dual-track thinking. When I take a breath admidst my panic, I can sometimes establish in my head that the physiological symptoms of extreme panic and frozen body has actually no relation with the present situation which might be chatting with friends or just walking outside. I think establishing that basic knowledge helped be gain a lot of foundation.

Also, Can someone enlighten me on how the therapeutic process of healing trauma works? As a professional setting. Is the therapist suppose to agree with your interpretation of your past experiences? What if I feel that they are not acknowledging the full weight of my past experiences?

Hi Everyone

I'm glad I made it into this community, and also stumbled across this post.

I have been dealing with the ramifications of my past traumatic experiences for a long time. For most of that time, I have been trying to hold things together until everything amounted to a total breakdown and I can't even handle moving myself. I was in second year university at the time, and lived with abusive roommates which exacerbated my situation.

A year and a half later, I am now still dealing with the impacts of my traumatic experiences. I have tried various methods, but still feel myself lost. One method, however, I do find to be quite useful which is called dual-track thinking. When I take a breath admidst my panic, I can sometimes establish in my head that the physiological symptoms of extreme panic and frozen body has actually no relation with the present situation which might be chatting with friends or just walking outside. I think establishing that basic knowledge helped be gain a lot of foundation.

Also, Can someone enlighten me on how the therapeutic process of healing trauma works? As a professional setting. Is the therapist suppose to agree with your interpretation of your past experiences? What if I feel that they are not acknowledging the full weight of my past experiences?

Recently, i made a huge decision in my life. For the past six years, i never told anyone that i had been raped. I was 13 when it happened.. I was at my first party and a guy who had just graduated from high school came by to give my friends weed. He was one of our town's best football players. I didn't smoke but he came over to me and we started talking. I asked him where the bathroom was because he seemed like he had been there before and he took me upstairs to show me. After that, he locked me in my friend's bedroom and raped me. He told me we were going to keep this a secret. A few weeks ago, i wrote a letter to my mom telling her the truth about what happened. She told me i should share my story but i'm not sure how. I'm in college now, and sometimes i wonder what high school would have been like had i just shared this with her sooner. Since it's so late i don't know if i should try to charge him? So far i haven't taken that step but i need to get this memory out of my head. Every day i have panic attacks. Sometimes i feel so dirty and that it was my fault for even talking to him. People have told me that life always gets better but i'm still in a dark place after this amount of time. i'm just not sure how to move on.

Hello to all...this is my first post. I am not sure how all this works. I have read some very sad posts that I relate to. I too was abused by many people as a child as a teen and just last New Years Eve I was beat and had my foot completely broke off along with head injury. I awoke naked from the waste down and have flashes of what happened sexually by unknown people in my hotel room. Police refuse to help me and I have no friends or family who care. They get angry at me when I cry! I now have PTSD. I cannot leave my house alone! This New Years Eve has set me back into a deep pit and im trying to get out of it! I am a fighter and I refuse to give up on myself! My dog is my best friend. I trust no one! I have a huge heart and if I can help anyone on here by listening then I feel that in some way I am not dirty and useless! Big hugs to those who need one!